On Inappropriate PMs - Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums

j. d. worthington · 21st February 2008, 10:16 PM

As we had this show up recently, and it went on longer than any of us would like, and as at least most of those who received such PMs hang around the Lounge quite a bit, thought I'd post this here rather than in Feedback, etc.

If anyone receives any inappropriate PMs -- things asking for personal information, making advances, etc. -- please notify a moderator immediately. Even if it hasn't got to a point where it's making you uncomfortable, chances are that the perpetrator is doing to the same to others, perhaps more severely. And such behavior can quickly erode the feeling of community and trust we work at maintaining here at the Chrons. So -- please don't hesitate; report such a happening. If it is a simple misunderstanding, things can almost certainly be worked out. But most likely, if it feels as if it's inappropriate or stepping over the line... it is.

And anent this particular situation -- thanks for looking out for each other. Though it did take longer than it should, that did help to catch the git doing it, and so thanks for that.

And a word of advice to such as may be using multiple IPs or usernames, especially for such tactics: DON'T. Anyone thinking of such... either forget it, or leave now and save everyone (including yourself) a lot of wasted time. The tolerance level for such behavior around here is slightly less than zero....

Karn Maeshalanadae · 21st February 2008, 10:19 PM

Right, JD. Thanks for this, and those of us who are together as friends, well, looking out for each other is what we do.

I just hope this kind of thing doesn't happen again, I was about to confront him myself about it, and quite possibly get my own self in trouble.......

j. d. worthington · 21st February 2008, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manarion

Right, JD. Thanks for this, and those of us who are together as friends, well, looking out for each other is what we do.

I just hope this kind of thing doesn't happen again, I was about to confront him myself about it, and quite possibly get my own self in trouble.......

Well, as noted, it's better to notify a moderator than to get involved in something that can get you booted as well. After all... that's part of why we're here in the first place....

Karn Maeshalanadae · 21st February 2008, 10:25 PM

Well, yes, but when friends are in trouble, and especially that kind, I tend to overreact........

But yeah, I REALLY don't like that kind of thing.......

j. d. worthington · 21st February 2008, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manarion

Well, yes, but when friends are in trouble, and especially that kind, I tend to overreact........

But yeah, I REALLY don't like that kind of thing.......

Understandable... but use deliberation and reason rather than visceral reaction. In the end, you can be much, much more effective that way.

And as for the other statement... I don't know of too many who do....

Ice fyre · 21st February 2008, 10:30 PM

The online world is almost as scary as the real world sometimes. My sympathies to the victim I hope they are ok.

Karn Maeshalanadae · 21st February 2008, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ice fyre

The online world is almost as scary as the real world sometimes. My sympathies to the victim I hope they are ok.

Well, I won't name names, but it happened more than once, and there were uncomfortable feelings all around on that score. I'm just glad that guy's gone, he, in my opinion, isn't fit to be part of a forum.

Ice fyre · 21st February 2008, 10:38 PM

And I wouldnt expect to be told if I asked. I wouldnt anyway

nothing to do with me except to offer my sympathies.

This place is our refuge, it should be a safe place.

Karn Maeshalanadae · 22nd February 2008, 12:27 AM

Exactly. What happened there with this situation, how could anyone do that? Chrons is supposed to be a place of relaxation, fun, and safety, a place for members to chill and lay back and talk about sci-fi and fantasy stories, games, and other stuff concerning those genres. It is NOT to make ANYONE feel uncomfortable or scared.

pyan · 22nd February 2008, 12:36 AM

Concur, Mana...
Well, no-one can deny it...You Have Been Warned......

The Ace · 22nd February 2008, 01:08 AM

I've always found the easy way to be, if you're not sure about saying it, don't.

I reply to any PMs I receive, but rarely send one, just to be cautious.

HardScienceFan · 22nd February 2008, 01:16 AM

you can always send me one,Ace

I'm a big fan of yours,and my toes aren't overly long

Serin · 22nd February 2008, 10:31 AM

Well said, J D, and to everyones' supportive comments. Whilst not affected by this, it is very reassuring to know that people are looking out for one another, which is just as it should be. I know I don't post a lot but this is something that I just don't agree with. Am standing with you all on this.

Cayal · 22nd February 2008, 11:07 AM

What happened?

MG1962 · 22nd February 2008, 11:29 AM

I am only new here, but my understanding is that this is the reason moderators on these forums get the big bucks

21st February 2008, 10:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
j. d. worthington Moderator Join Date: May 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 13,183	On Inappropriate PMs As we had this show up recently, and it went on longer than any of us would like, and as at least most of those who received such PMs hang around the Lounge quite a bit, thought I'd post this here rather than in Feedback, etc. If anyone receives any inappropriate PMs -- things asking for personal information, making advances, etc. -- please notify a moderator immediately. Even if it hasn't got to a point where it's making you uncomfortable, chances are that the perpetrator is doing to the same to others, perhaps more severely. And such behavior can quickly erode the feeling of community and trust we work at maintaining here at the Chrons. So -- please don't hesitate; report such a happening. If it is a simple misunderstanding, things can almost certainly be worked out. But most likely, if it feels as if it's inappropriate or stepping over the line... it is. And anent this particular situation -- thanks for looking out for each other. Though it did take longer than it should, that did help to catch the git doing it, and so thanks for that. And a word of advice to such as may be using multiple IPs or usernames, especially for such tactics: DON'T. Anyone thinking of such... either forget it, or leave now and save everyone (including yourself) a lot of wasted time. The tolerance level for such behavior around here is slightly less than zero....

21st February 2008, 10:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
Karn Maeshalanadae Tonari no Totoro Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 3,411 Blog Entries: 23	Re: On Inappropriate PMs Right, JD. Thanks for this, and those of us who are together as friends, well, looking out for each other is what we do. I just hope this kind of thing doesn't happen again, I was about to confront him myself about it, and quite possibly get my own self in trouble.......

21st February 2008, 10:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
Karn Maeshalanadae Tonari no Totoro Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 3,411 Blog Entries: 23	Re: On Inappropriate PMs Well, yes, but when friends are in trouble, and especially that kind, I tend to overreact........ But yeah, I REALLY don't like that kind of thing.......

21st February 2008, 10:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
Ice fyre Dark Lord Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Falkirk Posts: 687	Re: On Inappropriate PMs The online world is almost as scary as the real world sometimes. My sympathies to the victim I hope they are ok.

21st February 2008, 10:38 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ice fyre Dark Lord Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Falkirk Posts: 687	Re: On Inappropriate PMs And I wouldnt expect to be told if I asked. I wouldnt anyway nothing to do with me except to offer my sympathies. This place is our refuge, it should be a safe place.

22nd February 2008, 12:27 AM	#9 (permalink)
Karn Maeshalanadae Tonari no Totoro Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 3,411 Blog Entries: 23	Re: On Inappropriate PMs Exactly. What happened there with this situation, how could anyone do that? Chrons is supposed to be a place of relaxation, fun, and safety, a place for members to chill and lay back and talk about sci-fi and fantasy stories, games, and other stuff concerning those genres. It is NOT to make ANYONE feel uncomfortable or scared.

22nd February 2008, 12:36 AM	#10 (permalink)
pyan Cogito ergo doleo... Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Southampton Posts: 7,915	Re: On Inappropriate PMs Concur, Mana... Well, no-one can deny it...You Have Been Warned......

22nd February 2008, 01:08 AM	#11 (permalink)
The Ace Scottish Roman Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Perth and Kinross Posts: 3,821	Re: On Inappropriate PMs I've always found the easy way to be, if you're not sure about saying it, don't. I reply to any PMs I receive, but rarely send one, just to be cautious.

22nd February 2008, 01:16 AM	#12 (permalink)
HardScienceFan 'what to eat' fan Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Netherlands Posts: 1,912 Blog Entries: 1	Re: On Inappropriate PMs you can always send me one,Ace I'm a big fan of yours,and my toes aren't overly long

22nd February 2008, 10:31 AM	#13 (permalink)
Serin Chasing a dream... Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Lincolnshire Posts: 123	Re: On Inappropriate PMs Well said, J D, and to everyones' supportive comments. Whilst not affected by this, it is very reassuring to know that people are looking out for one another, which is just as it should be. I know I don't post a lot but this is something that I just don't agree with. Am standing with you all on this.

22nd February 2008, 11:07 AM	#14 (permalink)
Cayal The Immortal Prince Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Australia, Victoria Posts: 1,933	Re: On Inappropriate PMs What happened?

22nd February 2008, 11:29 AM	#15 (permalink)
MG1962 Registered User Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 119	Re: On Inappropriate PMs I am only new here, but my understanding is that this is the reason moderators on these forums get the big bucks

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