The Triumvir

[zorcarepublic]

This is how far I've gotten so far in my novel. It isn't brilliant, but I am hoping for feedback:

Chapter One

"You expect me to listen to this insanity?!" Darius Xanthan exclaimed.
"I do not expect you to listen to anything! Simply admit that the system of Larkinpane is ours, not yours!" Johvn Listeran shot back "The Urtalian Royal Kingdom is willing to go to war, if the representative of the Tailigan Empire does not admit, to the Terrabanian Council, that Larkinpane is legitimate Urtalian territory, not Tailigan territory!"
A member from the Zorcan Republic delegation stood up. He rarely spoke, but when he did he gave an important insight on issues, so everyone took notice.
"If you fight each other, over this single system, the Zorcan Republic will fight both of you. And we will win. Do not doubt us on this. Remember the Arrowsbane Incident"
A shiver ran through the council hall, and the other members, except for a small part of it, looked down at the marble floor. One single Zorcan battlecruiser, in the Arrowsbane system, had annihilated twelve heavy cruisers-and two dreadnoughts. True, the dreadnoughts were Emperador-class vessels from the technologically backward Rajrowlian Empire, but the heavy cruisers were Hyperion-class heavy cruisers of the Loramian Royal Kingdom, who was at the same technology level as the Urtalians. And, even worse, the battlecruiser was due to be scrapped in 2 years, as its class was deemed too weak for the Zorcan battleline.
Another person, from the part of the council not engaged in the floor inspection, snorted. The Zorcan turned towards the sound, and his eyes narrowed.
"Would the esteemed Calacan Peoples Republic be so kind as to give us a comment?" he asked sardonically.
"As a matter of fact, I do" he replied casually. He stood and turned towards the first two talkers, and started:
"The Calacan Peoples Republic is not going to interfere in the affairs of sovereign star nations, unlike" he glared at the Zorcans "the Zorcan Republic"
"Well at least we didn't murder civilians just because they were representatives of the old regime which was toppled by force! We showed considerable restraint when you overthrew a legitimately elected government just because they requested membership of the Zorcan Republic! It was only when you attacked a civilian colony of the Zorcan Republic that we declared war on you!" a second Zorcan snarled
"Excuse me, we are not discussing the myriad errors both your nations have carried out" Johvn said acidly.
Both Calacan and Zorcan looked awkward as Johvn carried on
"The Urtalian Royal Kingdom moves for a motion to recognise the Urtalian Royal Kingdom as the owner of the Larkinpane system"
"The Tailigan Empire moves for a motion to recognise the Tailigan Empire as the owner of the Larkinpane system" Darius shot back. The Zorcans and Calacans looked on.
"Enough!" the leader of the Council said. He looked at all four representatives "The council washes its hands of both matters of contention. If you wish to continue the discussion, please do so elsewhere. The time limit for the discussion has run out"
The Zorcans and Calacans got up and walked towards the doors.
"Stop! What are you doing?" the leader cried.
Both groups stopped. The Zorcan replied:
"The Zorcan Republic is leaving the council, until the needs of our people are met and the dispute over Gronari is settled"
"And we are doing the same" the Calacan replied.
Then both groups walked through the doors, and the Council was much weaker than just one day before.

* * *

Captain Yuri Yanokovitch, of the Zorcan Republic Defence Navy, stood on the view-deck of the ZRS dreadnought Iansola. He'd recently been promoted, and was promoted, as were other officers in the ZRDN, because of their experience. And, he thought, because of the Arrowsbane Incident.
The Iansola was, despite its size, a new class of vessel. Up until 20 standard years ago, the ZRDN had relied on a mixture of superdreadnoughts and battlecruisers as the core of the battlefleet. However, dreadnoughts, a combination of the crunch power and sheer toughness of the superdreadnought with the speed and agility of a battlecruiser, had returned to favour. And, he thought almost cynically, dreadnoughts did have the advantage of being cheaper.
He'd reported aboard two hours ago, but he'd spent a while-two weeks-studying the schematics of the class. Twelve torpedo tubes each firing the newest torpedo design-the Mark XVI, which could accelerate at 120.000Gs and carried either a 1000MT antimatter warhead or a detonation laser warhead with 25 beams of pure graser radiation. It could fire one of these every 20 seconds, and had a magazine of 600 in total. Twenty graser mounts, 10 forward and 10 aft, capable of slicing into really thick armour and causing massive damage to battlecruisers-even Calacan battlecruisers-supported four railcannons arranged along the axis of the ship, firing detonation laser warheads capable of disembowelling a battleship. Lighter weapons peppered the side of the ship, alongside point-defence missile launchers, electronic warhead systems and sensor arrays. At the extremities of the four graceful fins that helped provide stability in hyperspace-and through wormholes-were shield generators, capable of draining power from any attack and filtering it into hyperspace. And if anything managed to get through all of that, it could expect to find armour-10 metres of layered diamond, carbon nanotubes, battle steel and even a centimetre-thick layer of neutronium--supported by the artificial gravity generators that operated in a similar fashion to hyperspace generators. And at the base of the four fins were mounted the engines-gravitic drives capable of accelerating the ship at almost 550Gs. She really was a remarkable ship, and--
His executive officer, Alexandria Valoria, stepped into the room.
"Thinking happy thoughts?" she inquired, and Yuri snorted.
"Not really, I was just thinking about the current...situation in the sector" he lied. She looked doubtful, and he sighed, "You know me too well, don't you?"
"Yes, I've had the honour of knowing you, if that isn't too...ah...exaggerating the word 'honour'" she teased gently. He chuckled and then grew more sombre.
"Yes, well, I am a bit worried about the situation since we've left the Council. I don't mean to sound too pacifistic, but the Council was the only chance of the Terrabanian Sector remaining more or less stable. Now we and the Calacans have left it, the Council is a lot weaker-and the sector more volatile"
"But" Alexandria argued "the Council was little more than a debating shop-the only effective thing they ever did was to create a joint anti-piracy force and to organise a set of guidelines for fair and democratic elections!"
"Yeah, well, having the bright idea of bringing in the Calacans and the Tumerians didn't help matters, did it?" he asked cynically.
"I guess not. A Communist-Nazi Republic alongside the most imperialistic nation ever in the galaxy since that empire on that planet that we encountered 50 or so years ago" she clicked her fingers, trying to remember the name "Can you remember what it was called?"
Yuri thought for a minute, then remembered "Ah yes! The designation we gave it was 3-GhananLosran, but the natives called it Terra, if I remember. Very primitive, but a very good basis for our own international language, at least in the Council"
Just then, a klaxon went off. Yuri went over to the inter-ship communications system, and commed the bridge.
"What’s happening up there?" Yuri snapped to the officer on duty. It was Lieutenant-Commander Vascher.
"The ZRS Takao has spotted pirates sir! They're a pair of heavy cruisers, and the captain is saying that she can't handle them"
Yuri nodded. Takao was only a corvette, part of the Iansola battlegroup of eight such corvettes, two heavy cruisers and the Iansola herself.
"How long until we can engage the pirates?" Yuri asked. Vascher looked away, then re-appeared 10 seconds later.
"We can't. The pirates saw us, and they're already over the hyper limit. They didn't try to take the Takao though, sir, even though the Takao couldn't have fought them off"
Yuri went cold. He asked, very calmly "Can you re-run the tracking data, and pay specific attention to the heavy cruisers transponder signals?"
Vascher nodded, and his face was replaced by a tracking console's image. The two cruisers weren't pirates at all, he thought.
They were Calacan.

[zorcarepublic]

Second part of the chapter so far--too long to post all in one go:

* * *

In the Zorcasol system, Admiral Granville sighed and rubbed his eyes. He’d gotten reports of several incidents involving Calacan cruisers intruding on the Zorcan Republic’s territory. He had called a meeting of the Inner Admiralty, and they would soon reach the war-room. Granville had decided to meet here because he knew there would be a war, and he wanted everyone else to know it.

Captain Polinski, his aide, walked up to him and saluted. He was the intelligence officer of Granville and had just received the information that Granville has requested. For two days the Military Intelligence Bureau had been running simulation after simulation based upon the current deployments of Calacan warships, the speeches of Calacan political and military officials, and the temperament of the Calacan President, Adolphus Histerius.

“So, what’s the bad news then, Jared?” Granville asked.

“Based on twenty simulations, we’ve come up with three broad strategies and two timespans that the Calacans might follow:

The first strategy that we’ve identified is a limited war. In this scenario, they would escalate the intrusions until we make a mistake, like blowing their worthless arses out of the sky. They would then trumpet the news that we had fired first, and then attack our outer bases, hoping to draw our attention away from the main objective”

“Which would be the Gronari system” Granville interjected.

“Correct sir. The advantages for them under this scenario are that they could transfer to a more protracted conflict if we do protect Gronari at the expense of the three Zorcan systems in the same area. They could also get what they want, and then sue for peace. If they do that, either we refuse and kick their arses out of Gronari, which would translate into a loss of foreign support anywhere from 5% to 35%, or we accept, and they make us look like weak-willed pansies.

“The second strategy is a similar operation to the first, but with much more operational scope. Under this, over 50% of their first-line fleets would be mobilised to pressure our fleet. Not only would they try and grab Gronari, but they would also try to grab an extra four systems including-“ here he grimaced “the Twin Terror system. The advantages for them under this scenario is that if they go for it and win, they get five nice systems, all nicely positioned between us and them, and also would cut off our supply routes to the Yeraphan League and the Izilzan Confederacy. However, if they go for it and lose, they have suddenly lost a huge chunk of their protection for the inner Calacan Peoples Republic. We could walk in at our leisure. If they go for it, I would predict we would have a 75% chance of beating them, but that depends on the timing. Too quick, and we might lose. The longer it takes for them to get sorted out, the better”

He paused, and looked at the admiral. Granville grunted, and Polinski carried on.

“The third scenario is much more ambitious and would involve not just the Calacan fleets but also the Rajrowlian Empire and the Ryusaian Free Alliance. Here, they would provoke a major confrontation-maybe in the Hansea system-where one of our vessels destroys or seriously damages a Rajrowlian warship-maybe a Conde or Duque. The Calacans would jump to the Rajrowlian’s aid and try to destroy our vessel. They would hope that the captain of the ship would be a bit too hasty to pull the trigger, especially since he would have reports that the Calacans were intruding on Zorcan territory and would almost certainly be as high as an octofeline on caffeine. They would then attack the Zorcan Republic on different fronts, trying to wear us down preparatory to a large assault”

Granville rubbed his temples and concentrated “Okay, what is the likelihood of each scenario, and how much time do you think we have?”

Polinski grimaced, and pointed the laser at the viewscreen. On it a table emerged:



Possibility of scenarios outlined



Scenario A, time to activation 2 weeks: 25%
Scenario A, time to activation 1 month-2 months: 17%

Scenario B, time to activation 2 weeks: 21%

Scenario B, time to activation 1 month-2 months: 11%

Scenario C, time to activation 2 weeks: 7%

Scenario C, time to activation 1 month-2 months: 19%

POSSIBILITY OF SCENARIO A BEING ACTIVATED: 42%

POSSIBILITY OF SCENARIO B BEING ACTIVATED: 32%

POSSIBILITY OF SCENARIO C BEING ACTIVATED: 26%

POSSIBILITY OF ACTIVATION WITHIN 2 WEEKS: 53%

POSSIBILITY OF ACTIVATION WITHIN 2 MONTHS: 47%

[Leto]

Not my kind of story, as I'm not fond of novel taking place in the military, but it's fleshy and with a good pace. Just a little remark : Communist-Nazi Republic is a bit redundant. Official Nazi standed for National Socialism, so adding Communism (as it's an extrem of socialism) on top of it is redundant with the Socialism part.

[zorcarepublic]

Thanks. So would Communist-Fascist be okay?

[Leto]

Yes, I guess. Depends exactly on what are the fundamentals of the politic regime you're creating. If it might help, I think there's a thread around here about the difference between each regimen. Or you can try www.wikipedia.org (not always accurate but a good first step for research).

[absalom]

Originally Posted by zorcarepublic

Thanks. So would Communist-Fascist be okay?

I happen to like commie-fascists a lot, as long as they are pristine- not that unusual- after all Hitler promoted vegetarianism, and abhorred smoking and drinking. I think you guys are scrumptious, under the right circumstances. You're welcome at any barbecue of mine.

[zorcarepublic]

Originally Posted by Leto

Yes, I guess. Depends exactly on what are the fundamentals of the politic regime you're creating. If it might help, I think there's a thread around here about the difference between each regimen. Or you can try www.wikipedia.org (not always accurate but a good first step for research).

Well, the regime is based upon two theories-that the entire Calacan people are equal, and that the Calacan people are superior to other peoples. They do have an electoral system, but one of the main reasons why some people are voted into office is because of their racism-essentially, the more racist you are, the more likely you will gain votes.

[Leto]

The appellation sounds good then.

[zorcarepublic]

As I don't feel comfortable about writing long stories at present, and because my brain is buzzing with activity, I'm going to start writing stort stories again...

Watch out, more stories may be heading this way...

[polymorphikos]

This does not appear to be too great a cause for lamentation