Character intro

[Jackburton]

This is just something I wrote to introduce to a new character. I may or may not use in the future.

The Clover Pub was due to close in 10 minutes. The bartender, Alfredo, was getting ready to close the place up. He told the other patrons, only regulars at this point, to get ready to head out. The doors swung open. In came a man dressed in all black, head to toe. He stopped in the doorway and took a look at everyone. He looked at Alfredo. A huge grin appeared on the man’s face. He walked over to the bar and sat on a stool.
“I’ll take a hamburger, no mayo, extra pickles, and some fries. Make sure you throw in a beer and a shot of whiskey,” said the man in black.
“Bar’s about to close in 10 minutes. I don’t got no time to make no burger,” said Alfredo.
“I’ll take a hamburger, no mayo, extra pickles, and some fries. Make sure you throw in a beer and a shot of whiskey,” repeated the man black, in the same exact tone.
Alfredo shrugged. He looked at all the other customers, who were giving him uneasy glances. Whenever he made eye contact with one of them, they would look the other way. This didn’t look good.
He ordered the cook to start the burger and fries. He poured the man a shot and a beer. He took the shot in quick swig and then did the same with the beer.
“I’ll have another beer,” he said.
Alfredo poured another beer. He drank this one just as fast. The man lifted the glass. Alfredo poured another. The cook called Alfredo over for the hamburger and fries. He brought it over to the man in black, who was sitting there with a huge grin on his face again. At this point, sweat was dripping down Alfredo’s face. The man took the hamburger. His grin disappeared.
“If their’s mayo on this hamburger, I’m going to kill you,” the man said.
Alfredo’s heart jumped in his chest. He knew this man was for real.. Two people got up and left the bar. Everyone else’s eyes were fixed on the hamburger. The man looked under the bun. No mayo.
“Looks like it’s your lucky day. You get to make the choice,” the man said.
“Choice?” Alfredo said.
“Yea. Dead or alive. Which is it gonna be, Alfredo Vasquez?” the man said.
Alfredo froze. He tried to speak but his mouth went numb. If he went with this bounty killer and snitched, then his boss would have him killed in jail. If he refused to talk, he’d be sent to Psycho City. Better to wait for an opportunity to try and take him out with that weapon he’s got under the bar counter than to get sent to that hellhole. Worst case scenario he gets killed on the spot. Everyone knows a quick death is heaven compared to what happens to people like him in Psycho City.
One of the men that were still left reached for something in his boot. The man pointed his gun at him. He took a bite out his burger.
“So help me god, if I have to put this burger down for even a second cause of some hero, I’ll kill every single person in this bar,” the man said, his voice muffled by the food that still filled his mouth.
Foolishly, Alfredo reached for the gun. The man shot him in the arm. Blood splattered all over the bar and also onto the man’s burger and fries. The man dropped the burger. He stood up and pointed his gun at Alfredo.
“You dumb bastard,” he said.
The door flew open, and the two men from before came rushing in, along with two other men. The man shot all four as each of them came through the doorway, one at a time.As he shot the last one, the other men at the bar pulled out their guns. The man shot each one of them. The last one he shot managed to live. The man walked over to him and pointed his gun between his eyes.
“Oh god. Please don’t kill me. I-“ he said, sobbing but the man shot him.
“You didn’t have to kill him. It’s me you want,”Alfredo said.
The man laughed. He hit Alfredo in the face with the butt of his gun.
“You think I’m stupid? If you shoot a man, you better kill him. Otherwise, that man will heal and hunt you down like an animal. Once someone’s out revenge, ain’t nothing stopping him. Now if I let every guy I shot live, I’d have an awful lot of people after me, wouldn’t I?” the man said.
“How much are you getting payed?” Alfredo said.
“2,000,” the man said.
“I’ll give you 4,000 if you let me go,” Alfredo said.
“Now if you show me this 4,000, I might think about it,” the man said.
Alfredo’s heart jumped again. He found away to get out of this! Sure, he’d be hunted down by his boss. He would probably be on the run the rest of his live. None of that mattered now. All he cared about was getting this bounty killer the hell out of his bar. After that he would think about where he was going to run.
He opened the safe under the bar. The man was grinning again. Alfredo grabbed a few handfuls of bills and put them on the counter. He figured that it was about 4,000, maybe a little more. Who cares, as long a this ugly bastard was out of his sight.
“Their looks like theirs a little more left in the safe,” the man said.
Alfredo frowned and let out a grunt. The man hit him in the back of the head with the butt of his gun.
“Give me your word. You take this money, then get the hell out of here,” Alfredo said.
“Yea, yea. You have my word. So empty the safe,” the man said.
Alfredo took the rest of the cash out of the safe. He took a bag that was filled with flour before and filled it with the cash.
“Their you go. That’s over 6,000 in cash, almost all the money I’ve made for the whole year,” Alfredo said.
“Looks good. Damn, that’ll be 8,000 altogether. What am I gonna do with all that money?” the man said.
Alfredo was furious. Not only was this man going to capture him, he was going to rob him too. This was definitely bad. Most of that money belonged to his boss, Vic Rizzo. All the people in the bar that were killed were also employees of Rizzo. If he found out about this, which he would, then the least of Alfredo’s worries was dying.
“That’s Vic Rizzo’s money you got there. Do you know what he’ll do to you when he finds out that you have took it.?” Alfredo said.
“Vic Rizzo? Are you kidding me? Let him send his dogs. I’ll kill them all. Vic Rizzo,” he let out another laugh.”I can’t believe you think I’d be scared of that fat bastard.”
The man took the money in one hand and kept the gun pointed at Alfredo with the other. He pointed his gun to the door. Alfredo got up and began to leave the bar. The man had his gun pointed at the back of Alfredo’s head all the way out.
“I always heard stories of how all you bounty killers were men of your word. You said you would let me go for 4,000,” Alfredo said. The man laughed and that grin appeared once again.
“Ask anybody and they’ll tell you, Joe Kincaid’s word ain’t worth ****,” he said.

[asher marquering]

hey i liked it few errors i saw

eg.
"Their looks like theirs a little more left in the safe,” the man said
i think its supposed to be "it" or "there"

but anyway like i said i liked it