Chapter one Prisoner

[anthorn]

So this is the first chapter in my novel, its only first draft so.....Any mistakes etc.


CHAPTER ONE: Prisoner.

4019 1st. Day of Jarran Mid-Winter.


The sound of thunder, of glass breaking and a dozen voices snuffed out in seconds, this is what she dreams of. The sounds of her life torn away, gone forever.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP.

Nikita Maralelle unim looked up to the celing and watched the casual, almost lethargic dripping of water onto the steel floor with disinterest. It told her nothing except, that, outside it was raining, outside the world moved on and that life went on while she remained in stasus, trapped in the cells of Nismarll Prison. Nismarll though was'nt just any prison, it was ment for the cruellest and most irradeemible of criminals, and her crime? The refusal to sleep with Raijin Drako: The governer of Mana City.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

Nikita kicked out at the nearest wall, fustration boiling over after nine days of confinement. It's not fair, she thought, what did i do wrong? What man would kill hundreds over one rejection? If she were to mate it would be for love not lust, and certainly not to him Closing her eyes she curled up into a ball, huddling for warmth and lay back on the straw bed, losing her self to happier times and more pleasant thoughts.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

A beautiful Imara day. Strawberries served in cow milk and summer stories on the verander of her granmothers villa, and the sunset across the Shigekum sea. Just thinking about it brought warmth to her, fleeting though it was. And even though she had only been five she could remember it clearly:Remember her mother and father laughing, even her little sister Maelys. Oh! How happy they all were back then. Before Xara came, before she was brought to the Iron city as she had called it then. A city built on a platform of metal above the remains of the first city. She remembered the awe, such awe of such amazing buildings of god like size, such a far cry from the buildings of Imara.

'This is your new home child.' Xara had said. 'Here, you will learn things past your wildest dreams.' Small words to a smaller child. But this was an oppotunity of a lifetime, she the middle child of four was to be a member of the Order of the Rose.
That was nineteen years ago, now the order was gone, lost in a night of bloodshed and only Nikita was left. She wore still the robes of the Order, her hair stank of smoke and her face was covered in soot and grime and tears. I am alone.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

For the first time that day the cell lit up, blue and red light stabbed at her through tiny slits in the rusting door aluminating the grimy iron walls around her. Nikita sat up and winced from the pain in her side, a straw matress was not a good bed at the best of times, this one gave little and was as hard as stone and too short for a woman her size. Slowly but surely the nerves started creeping back to her, mind crushing doubts that weighed heavy on her shoulders. I'm never going to leave here. Never! Oh, maybe i should have said yes, what is one night against the lives of my friends. If only she'd had the benifit of hindsight.

No! Be strong stay focused. I must never give in never. Prison, she knew was tough upon the hardest of people, but she was not hard or tough. She was a member of the Order of the Rose, she was a SongMage. I must stay strong!
Could she though, if offered that chance of freedom?

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....


Time stretched on, she counted the minutes by the dripping of water until she had counted four hours. Soon her mind began to wander from counting to other matters, that somebody was coming someone was coming to save her, a prince, a hero. That any moment now, the doors would be kicked off their hinges and she would be saved. History was filled with such tales, kings that had been so evil they sacrificed their kin, a beautiful maiden saved at the brink of doom. Unfortunately, at this very moment, all the heros' seemed to be rather busy.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

Nikita rubbed her eyes and blinked out the tiredness, she could'nt sleep-dared not. Sleep was when they got you the girls in the Order had told her. Fall asleep in the street, wake up with no knickers, the same she guessed, applied to prison.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP

A key turns in the lock grinding and scratching. Nikita freezes, the door is pushed open bringing fourth a screech. This is it. Judgement day, be ready for anything. Blinging white light filled the room, a siloet of a figure walks into the cell. Click.
The room was lit by red light and the figure made itself known.

"So Nikita, we meet again." Grinned a woman of tall stature. "You have caused a rather big stir have'nt you."

"Not my fault." Oh how dry her throat was! Water, i need water

The grin did not slip from the womans face, nor did she blink. "It's never your fault. It never ceases to amaze me how many times the whores say that. It's never my fault."

"Get to the point!"

"So, you have a temper do you? Well, no matter." The woman stood rigid straight with her shoulders back. "My name is Anastasia and i come on behalf of my lord Raijin Drako."

Nikitas' shoulders sagged. "Tell your master...."

"Yes! Yes, I'm sure we shall get to that child, but do not refuse until you hear my offer." Anastasia folded her arms across her chest, when Nikita remained silent she continued. "My master will pardon you, you need only say yes and you can go free. Agree and you can have all you want and all you desire, you need only agree to be his consort to have your freedom."

Nikita said nothing still.

Anastasia formed a circle with her hands, flicking them about in the air. A mirror, the exact length of the room formed, fizzling into exsistence. "Look at yourself Nikita, look at what you have become."

She did'nt want to but the temptation was too much. She was horrible, dirty and smelly and no better than an urchin. Resisting the urge to vomit, she hugged herself, but nothing could erase the image from her mind.

"You are a pretty girl, come, be his consort and bring your people honour." The mirror faded away again.

"No" Nikita managed to squeek.

"Fine! But you condemn yourself, if not to this then worse."

"What can you do to me that is worse!" Nikita screamed, startling the woman. "What else can you do? You've killed my friends, my life and future. I have nothing left to give!"

Anastasia chuckled. "There is one more thing left to give. Your body." She paused for effect. "I was told that if you were to refuse him again, that you are to be sent to the Muninuian Brothals imediately."

"You can't do that, I'm an Imara citizen." She countered.

"You are not above the law, either here or at Imara." Anastasia turned away, black cape flowing behind. "The transfer will begin at once!"

Nikita sank to her knees in despair, how could things be any worse now? She wanted to cry, but tears would not come.


DRIP....DRIP.....DRIP.....DRIP.....

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

DRIP....

[chrispenycate]

Originally Posted by anthorn

So this is the first chapter in my novel, its only first draft so.....Any mistakes etc.


CHAPTER ONE: Prisoner.

4019 1st. Day of Jarran Mid-Winter.


The sound of thunder, of glass breaking and a dozen voices snuffed out in seconds, this is what she dreams of. The sounds of her life torn away, gone forever.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP.

Nikita Maralelle unim looked up to the celing

ceiling - and what's the "unim"? her name? If so, why hasn't it a capital?

and watched the casual, almost lethargic dripping of water onto the steel floor with disinterest. It told her nothing except,

no comma; and you don't really need the one after the "that"

that, outside it was raining, outside the world moved on and that life went on while she remained in stasus,

stasis?

trapped in the cells of Nismarll Prison. Nismarll though was'nt

wasn't

just any prison, it was ment

meant

for the cruellest and most irradeemible of criminals, and her crime? The refusal to sleep with Raijin Drako:

just a comma

The governer of Mana City.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

Nikita kicked out at the nearest wall, fustration boiling over after nine days of confinement. It's not fair, she thought, what did i do wrong? What man would kill hundreds over one rejection? If she were to mate it would be for love not lust, and certainly not to him Closing her eyes she curled up into a ball, huddling for warmth

comma

and lay back on the straw bed, losing her self to happier times and more pleasant thoughts.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

A beautiful Imara day. Strawberries served in cow milk and summer stories on the verander

veranda

of her granmothers

well, it's "grandmother's", but I suppose the "d" might have got lost. Not the apostrophe, though

villa, and the sunset across the Shigekum sea. Just thinking about it brought warmth to her, fleeting though it was. And even though she had only been five she could remember it clearly:

no capital "R"

Remember her mother and father laughing, even her little sister Maelys. Oh! How happy they all were

had been

back then. Before Xara came, before she was brought to the Iron city as she had called it then. A city built on a platform of metal above the remains of the first city. She remembered the awe, such awe of such amazing buildings of god like size, such a far cry from the buildings of Imara.

'This is your new home

comma

child.' Xara had said. 'Here, you will learn things past your wildest dreams.' Small words to a smaller child. But this was an oppotunity of a lifetime, she the middle child of four was to be a member of the Order of the Rose.

]How can you be the middle of four?

That was nineteen years ago,

semicolon

now the order was gone, lost in a night of bloodshed

comma

and only Nikita was left. She wore still the robes of the Order, her hair stank of smoke and her face was covered in soot and grime and tears. I am alone.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

For the first time that day the cell lit up, blue and red light stabbed at her through tiny slits in the rusting door aluminating

illuminating

the grimy iron walls around her. Nikita sat up and winced from the pain in her side, a straw matress was not a good bed at the best of times, this one gave little and was as hard as stone and too short for a woman her size. Slowly but surely the nerves started creeping back to her, mind

hyphen

crushing doubts that weighed heavy on her shoulders. I'm never going to leave here. Never! Oh, maybe i should have said yes, what is one night against the lives of my friends. If only she'd had the benifit

benefit

of hindsight.

No! Be strong

comma

stay focused. I must never give in

comma

never.

Prison, she knew

comma

was tough upon the hardest of people, but she was not hard or tough. She was a member of the Order of the Rose, she was a SongMage. I must stay strong!
Could she though, if offered that chance of freedom?

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....


Time stretched on, she counted the minutes by the dripping of water until she had counted four hours. Soon her mind began to wander from counting to other matters, that somebody was coming

comma

someone was coming to save her, a prince, a hero. That any moment now, the doors would be kicked off their hinges and she would be saved. History was filled with such tales, kings that had been so evil they sacrificed their kin, a beautiful maiden saved at the brink of doom. Unfortunately, at this very moment, all the heros'

no apostrophe

seemed to be rather busy.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

Nikita rubbed her eyes and blinked out the tiredness,

full stop

she could'nt sleep-dared not. Sleep was when they got you

comma

the girls in the Order had told her. Fall asleep in the street, wake up with no knickers,

semicolon

the same she guessed, applied to prison.

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....DRIP

A key turns in the lock

comma

grinding and scratching. Nikita freezes, the door is pushed open bringing fourth a screech. This is it. Judgement day, be ready for anything. Blinging

blinding

white light filled the room, a siloet

silhouette

of a figure walks into the cell. Click.
The room was lit by red light and the figure made itself known.

"So Nikita, we meet again." Grinned a woman of tall stature. "You have caused a rather big stir have'nt

haven't

you."

I know the question is not intended to be answered, but it's still a question mark

"Not my fault." Oh how dry her throat was! Water, i need water

The grin did not slip from the womans face, nor did she blink. "It's never your fault. It never ceases to amaze me how many times the whores say that. It's never my fault."

"Get to the point!"

"So, you have a temper do you? Well, no matter." The woman stood rigid straight with her shoulders back. "My name is Anastasia and i come on behalf of my lord Raijin Drako."

Nikitas' shoulders sagged. "Tell your master...."

"Yes! Yes, I'm sure we shall get to that child, but do not refuse until you hear my offer." Anastasia folded her arms across her chest,

semicolon

when Nikita remained silent she continued. "My master will pardon you, you need only say yes and you can go free. Agree and you can have all you want and all you desire, you need only agree to be his consort to have your freedom."

Nikita said nothing still.

Anastasia formed a circle with her hands, flicking them about in the air. A mirror,

comma

the exact length of the room formed, fizzling into exsistence. "Look at yourself Nikita, look at what you have become."

She did'nt

didn't

want to but the temptation was too much. She was horrible, dirty and smelly and no better than an urchin. Resisting the urge to vomit, she hugged herself, but nothing could erase the image from her mind.

"You are a pretty girl, come, be his consort and bring your people honour." The mirror faded away again.

"No" Nikita managed to squeek.

"Fine! But you condemn yourself, if not to this then worse."

"What can you do to me that is worse!" Nikita screamed, startling the woman. "What else can you do? You've killed my friends, my life and future. I have nothing left to give!"

Anastasia chuckled. "There is one more thing left to give. Your body." She paused for effect. "I was told that if you were to refuse him again, that you are to be sent to the Muninuian Brothals

Brothels

imediately."

"You can't do that, I'm an Imara citizen." She countered.

"You are not above the law, either here or at Imara." Anastasia turned away, black cape flowing behind. "The transfer will begin at once!"

Nikita sank to her knees in despair, how could things be any worse now? She wanted to cry, but tears would not come.


DRIP....DRIP.....DRIP.....DRIP.....

DRIP....DRIP....DRIP....

DRIP....