|31st October 2007, 11:27 PM||#1 (permalink)|
I am, the scallywag
Join Date: Aug 2004
By request I shall spam the forum with some more of my swift but acute headache-causing ramblings.
The ant and the pudding
It was then that I realised my place in society. I realised that in this vast blob of matter that I was but a servant. Not totally as in the servant way, but more as in being like an ant. Yes, an ant on a tree, working and working for no clear reason. He does serve a bigger puprose, but doesn’t live to enjoy it. In fact you could indeed consider him a bit of a servant. Then again even the queen of the colony can only try to breed a new generation of ants and will wither away in the end. But that queen has ants working below her. Just like some people in this world posses the power to place themselves above others. They are the people who can persuade you to work for their sake, to suffer for their sake, to swallow emotions and sacrifice yourself for their well being.
Sadly a power I do not posses.
So they used me. A kind word here, a threat there, some manipulated reasoning, they just played me like a ball. I dwindled on, accepting all their reasons and performing their tasks. They knew what was best for me, they could help me. I was happy to know them. I could become someone, if only I let them walk over me so they could get out of the mud first. It was not even that I believed it that much, but it was more some sort of general lacking of a goal of my own. I thought: “if I don’t have a dream myself, then I can wait for it while I help others to accomplish theirs.” But sadly by doing that, I was pushed down a bottomless hole of submission. As I was labelled a servant, I was not allowed to dream anymore. I existed to fulfill other people’s dreams, to submit to other people’s desires and to act like the monkey they had trained me to be.
But like I said, this I only then realised, with the blood on my hands, the police sirens sounding, the lifeless body of a young girl on my lap...
People shouted to me to get back, to step away from her. As if they could still reanimate her. I didn’t obey. For the first time in my life, I refused to play along. I was an individual and I would not be a servant again. Sadly it was too late. I had followed too many orders from the wrong people and had done a despicable act. But I beg you, please, let this individual not suffer for the acts while he was just a mere tool for others.
John Mc rane; when I notice an ant in my pudding, I squash it, no matter whether it just serves its queen or not. I hereby sentence you to death.
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