The 'women' thread

[Joel007]

Originally Posted by Jaire

Why would they? I offer nothing.

I'm an introvert. I stay home and read and write and play video games. My idea of going out is to the movies or for dinner. I hate parties and clubs and drinking.
I cannot find anyone else like me as I am, or who likes what I like.

I am just not good around the opposite of sex. Never know what to say or how to hold up a conversation.

More over I get worried once they find out who I really am they won't like me.

Such a glowing resume.

You sound just like me, and I found a wife
Actually we're total opposites with only a few shared interests. But they do say that opposites attract.
She's certain that I'm inconsiderate and emotionally blind, and I'm certain that she's totally insane! Ah true love.

I think the important thing is that neither of us was really looking for a "mate", we were just friends who suddenly realized what we were both missing.

[Cayal]

I'll address what everyone said quickly, as I have to get to work.

I have had the idea that someone outgoing wouldn't like the non-outgoing. Yes I hear opposites attract but I really cannot see it happening at this stage.

I am terrible at meeting new people. I once went out with a girl and all her friends, I spent most of the time sitting down listening to every other conversation. I didn't know what to say and it happens a lot.
I started a job not long ago, about 6 months ago now and I am not really close to anyone. I can't even say 'Hello' to someone without it coming out as a whisper or all cracked up, and again I don't know what to say to them. What topics to bring up.

To be fair there are some who I can say hello too no problem but that took a while.

I guess most of my 'fears' stem from my last relationship. We were together for over 2 years and for most of it she wasn't much outgoing either so most nights we were at my house or dinner or something.
Then all of a sudden she wants to go out more. So I figured I would give it a go, and I did and it still wasn't enough for her. So we ended it.
Now all I think, like I said above, I have very little to offer someone and most of my interests are held by very few people, at least that I know of or heard about.

That's it in a nutshell.

[tangaloomababe]

Jaire you can't be a total intovert, after all you can hold down a job. I have never had a problem with talking (yep females) I can feel uncomfortable about meeting new people and I think the best idea when you do meet new people is to let them talk, this way you learn all about them whist coming across as a good listener to. Trust me people value those who can listen to them and are interested in what they have to say.
You don't always have to say alot to be part of a conversation, however it starts with voicing your opinion on the subjects that arise. Your viewpoint may not be the same as others, but by expressing it, it gives the conversation more substance and can take it off on another tangent also.
Its also an age thing I think, ok so some people never have a problem in conversation. My son communicates great with people older than him but at times can struggle with those in his own age group unless he is extremely good friends with them. All of my friends say what a great conversationalist he is and acts older than his own age, but trust me he has moments where he struggles.
I think you start with the basics Jaire, like hi, how's your day, what have you been up to etc etc and conversations grown from that.
You are not having to many problems chatting here I see, so maybe you can develop those skills and take them back to the real world!
See I sound like a mum again (sorry Ben)

[C Of K]

Originally Posted by Jaire

I offer nothing.

I cannot find anyone else like me as I am, or who likes what I like.

I am just not good around the opposite of sex. Never know what to say or how to hold up a conversation.

More over I get worried once they find out who I really am they won't like me.

You'll grow out of this. Your likes and dislikes aren't your weakness, so make them a strength.

Being introverted, you probably don't even notice most of the opportunities you have. I certainly didn't until recently, and I'm a bit older than you. As for not doing well around women... 80 percent of the people I've ever worked with were women. They can be every bit as ditsy and or normal as you can imagine.

It makes them easier to talk to when you can see their more human side beyond the unattainable Goddess persona that we guys often imagine... Try to see the human first, then you can treat her like a Goddess if you like.

It could all start for you with something so simple as a smile, I think. (I'm going to try all of this soon...seriously)

[Soggyfox]

Women like a barstard, don't know why, they just do, they then turn to the 'nice' guy they know to complain about said barstard. For the life of him 'nice' guy will never be a barstard as he has respect for the female of the species. he will always be a 'nice' guy and someone to talk to when times are difficult.

the next person who describes me as 'nice' is going to get floored.

i vote to have the word 'nice' removed from the english language for crimes against humanity.

[Majimaune]

Originally Posted by Jaire

Why would they? I offer nothing.

I'm an introvert. I stay home and read and write and play video games. My idea of going out is to the movies or for dinner. I hate parties and clubs and drinking.
I cannot find anyone else like me as I am, or who likes what I like.

I am just not good around the opposite of sex. Never know what to say or how to hold up a conversation.

More over I get worried once they find out who I really am they won't like me.

Such a glowing resume.

I forget how old you are, I know I read it somewhere. The reason is that no Aussie women are interested in Aussie men. Its a sad fact.

Originally Posted by jackokent

If there's a women thread should someone be starting an equivalent man thread or is thread doing for both?

I would be expecting that to happen when I started this thread.

Originally Posted by Soggyfox

i vote to have the word 'nice' removed from the english language for crimes against humanity.

Agreed about the word nice.

I am the 'nice guy' not a barstard at all. I hate it cause I'm the one they come to to complain to about the barstard and then I'm like brake up with him and find someone nicer but do they? I ask you do they? NO THEY DON'T!

On other notes about myself, how do you get a woman to talk to you? Its impossible. I can't go much longer like this. Two days is too many.

[Daenerys]

... Guys who complain about women choosing 'bastards' over them 'the nice guy' are usually full of self pity and very boring to be with.

I however, am not with either a 'nice guy' nor with a 'bastard'. I just happen to choose regular guys. He's not nice, he's not a bastard, and yet he still both treat me with respect and points out when I a about to make a mistake. (I always wait with pointing out mistakes he makes until he has made them though...)

'Nice guys' are as horrible as 'bastards', my dear male fellow forum members.

[Majimaune]

There is no regular guys, there is the nice guy and the bastard. Thats how you view them, there might be a couple in between. Also are you therefore calling me boring and full of self pity? I am far from boring, I care about the people around me more then myself.

[Marky Lazer]

I don't think she's calling anyone anything. She's just pointing out the stereotyped nice guy and the stereotyped bastard.

[Majimaune]

I guess thats right Marky.

[Soggyfox]

Originally Posted by Daenerys

...
'Nice guys' are as horrible as 'bastards', my dear male fellow forum members.

i'd need that clarified cos it makes no sense to me, i would hazard a guess that it depends on how you like to be treated as a person if your going to say the someone being nice to you is as horrible as someone who's being a barstard.

on a lighter note, i'd like to state to any and all females that shopping does not in anyway qualify as a sport or hobby.

[Majimaune]

The nice guys have to wait until the girls have had a couple of bastards before they realise what they really want.

SHOPPING IS NOT A SPORT! Thanks for bringing that up.

[HoopyFrood]

I've never been out with a 'bastard' and I don't intend to -- anyone who wants to treat me badly can get the hell away from me.

And shopping is most definitely not a freaking sport or a hobby -- I hate it, it's so borrring and I hate bloody clothes and shoes and bags and argh! I don't need endless piles of all that rubbish.

[C Of K]

Tear your science down, People!

Nice guys...bastards...eventually most of us become normal people who have good and bad moments (some of us more often than most) But when your young I guess it seems like those moments are happening one way all the time.

Maj, when girls come to you and complain, you're supposed to be a bastard to the guy they're complaining about, and nice to the girl that is complaining. You can be both nice guy and bastard by stealing the girl.

It's the stuff all great shipper stories are made of.

[Soggyfox]

what is the right answer to "does my bum look big in this?"




it is not "your bum looks big in everything"..............