Salutations...

[Sephiroth]

Originally Posted by Giovanna Clairval

Okay, I didn't find anything else to grump about. The problem couldn't be solved by grammar and change of words. It needed simplification. The fact is that the text showed great promise (the atmosphere of awe etc), and, also, that guy can write (did you see his other thread "New Character"?). But he was doing too much: the mark of the writer who's afraid of not being up to the job (the famous prologue that will sell or not the entire novel. I do understand him. Is he a he, btw?) If you feel inspired by a text, try to re-write it, first as the author would have re-written it, and then in the way you would have written the beastie, using your own style and just stealing the idea. It's a great exercise.

I thought it would be presumptuous of me to rewrite the whole thing the way I would have done it. That's just me being silly, though, I suppose. I also thought it might be difficult to see what I had changed that way, but your use of blue seems to make things stand out well.

I should really have offered more than simply advice on grammar and wording, I can see that. Can you expand on what you mean by doing too much?

I agree that he can write (I think he's a he). I'll have a look and see if I've been in that other thread...

I use it sparingly, but sometimes it's silly not to use it. When characters are concerned, it conveys a feeling of helplessness (wow, is this a word?).

I use it sparingly too, but sometimes it just fits.

Helplessness. Heh. It's very much a word. Does it seem strange?

"He was dragged down the pebbly road" can be better than "They dragged him". Am I making any sense here?

Perfect sense, yes. For another thing (besides helplessness), it simply keeps us with his point of view, and away from theirs. This is the thing that happened to him, and the people doing it to him are not as significant. Does that make any sense?

Don't you think it was appropriate when describing the movement of celestial objects? I find that it creates more of a sense of distance between us and the objects/actions being described.

[edit] I just had some terrible news. Robert Jordan is dead. I really can't believe it.

[Giovanna Clairval]

I saw the thread about the Dragon, yes.
I was reading his last book, but I lost it while moving to another flat. I was so angry! I'll have to buy it again.


About Jarshen. I think you didn't see my complete re-write. It's somewhere down the thread.
I did it using his style, not mine.


What I mean, by saying that he was doing too much, is that his writing was stilted and ornate, different from the chapter he had posted before.


Yes, you are making sense. And no, I don't think it was appropriate for the cosmic entity, which is... an entity, something that has intent and is active. Read my example, if you haven't yet. Just to see my intention...

[Sephiroth]

Well, I see your point immediately, because I have been in that other thread as well (I just looked) and yes, when comparing the two, the Prologue just does not flow as smoothly.

I will pop back in and have another look. Forgive me if I overlooked something.

Ahhh, I have grown up reading the Wheel of Time novels...it's such a tragedy that he will never finish his magnum opus, now. It still seems unreal...

[Giovanna Clairval]

Have you read the last one? I haven't finished, so, no spoilers!

[Sephiroth]

Yes, I have. I've read it once. I've read book 10 twice, book 9 three times, book 8 four times and the first 7 books five times each.

I know, I know, it's too much, but...I can't help it.

Elsewhere I post under the name Moridin.

I realise there's a thread for this, but who is your favourite character?

[Giovanna Clairval]

Spontaneously, it's Mat, because he's a gambler and he's got much more in his head than what he thinks he has.
Yours?

[Sephiroth]

Same here. Although I do like Moridin.

Am I completely alone in liking Nynaeve? No one else seems to...

[Giovanna Clairval]

I do like N. I find Elaine boring.

[Sephiroth]

Oh yeah, Elayne does my box in. I sort of roll my eyes and grit my teeth every time a new Elayne chapter comes along. I would go further than boring, she slightly irritates me...

I wonder...although it seems to soon to ask something like this...but I wonder, if they will be able to publish Book 12 based on what they have now and the notes he has left behind...?

[edit] I'm sure he would want it to be published.

[Giovanna Clairval]

Originally Posted by Sephiroth

Oh yeah, Elayne does my box in.

Although I can imagine the meaning, I don't know this expression. Unbelievable!

I wonder...although it seems to soon to ask something like this...but I wonder, if they will be able to publish Book 12 based on what they have now and the notes he has left behind...?

[edit] I'm sure he would want it to be published.

I hope they will, and I agree with you: he would want it.
Now everything is in the hands of the estate.

[Sephiroth]

*is amazed to have uttered an expression unknown to the Queen of Expressions*



I'm not even sure the extent of its usage. I'd be curious to know if it extends down into England and/or Wales. It's certainly widely used in Scotland.

[edit] I'm sure you're familiar with 'does my head in', of which it is a more colourful variation.

[Giovanna Clairval]

I looked it up.

It's nowhere. I have two dictionaries of slang, one old (1982), the other new, nothing.

I searched the web for modern slang. Nothing in that sense (I found several others).

Anglish is a very extensive language. Idioms come in millions. I can't possibly know everything, but I'm surprised as well.

[Sephiroth]

Hmmm, perhaps its origin is dialectal.

Even within Scotland, a country of only 5 million souls, we have a wide range of strong and diverse (and constantly evolving) local dialects. No source on general or 'proper' English will show them up, however.

For example, here in Dundee, one's face may be referred to as one's coupon. Again, I'd be interested to know how far beyond the boundaries of this city it extends. Dundonian is a very strong dialect, much of it is inscrutable to other English speakers (although we Scots generally understand each other, even in dialect...if you don't know the word, you've heard something like it). Friends of mine from other parts of the world understand me perfectly when I talk 'proper' English, but they understand only the odd word and phrase if I speak in my local dialect.

[Giovanna Clairval]

Can you Scots only speak proper English?

(but I like "Anglish" better. "English" is a mispelling.)

Well, I find the Scottish accent absolutely lovely. Yes, you read it right, not funny or endearing, no, lovely. There's this character in Lost, Desmond. Oh, he's got just a pinch of accent... lovely.
I'd like to learn it. I have a funny accent in Anglish (not French thanks god, or Italian), so why not change it for something... lovely?
But Carson of Atlantis is a fake. He's not Scottish at all. Several American actors affect an Anglish accent, but Anglishmen who pretend to be Scotts, that I didn't know.

[Sephiroth]

Many would argue that we speak the most proper Anglish, that our pronunciation is truest, crispest, clearest. Maybe I'm biased. We had to learn that language, as most of the world has had to since. What we speak is actually a mix of Scots and Anglish, though, two closely-related Germanic languages (I know you know this already!). The language of my direct ancestors, Gaelic, is now spoken by only 1% of the population, and that 1% doesn't include me.

'English' is indeed a misspelling, and yet has become the standard version. It's funny how things change in linguistics (and how fast).

I know Desmond (I love Lost). Liked him 'till I found out he was a Celtic fan ( only kidding). He has that very slight hint of West Coast twang to his accent, (which comes from the historical Irish connection in Glasgow and the surrounding area). Too much of that twang is a bad thing (rough Glaswegians sound horrible) but just a hint of it can sound nice.

I'm glad you like the sound of our speech. To me, it can sound very rough, very aggressive. It is a harsh language.

Do you sound French or Italian when speaking Anglish (or would it take someone else to tell)?