Exposition & Info-Dumps vs. Local Colour

[Hawke]

Originally Posted by The Curious Orange

So where do I draw the line? A lot of my early chapters involve characters going about their daily lives, describing the world around them, thinking about their lot, meeting other characters and having expository conversations with them, etc etc. If I cut this stuff out, the book is quicker and pacier, but also less rich and detailed. The characters become more immediate, but less well rounded.

Where should I draw the line? Opinions, please.

I think that the early chapters should introduce the core characters of your story but they also need to involve some form of action to hook the reader and keep them interested, I don't know about anyone else but if I picked up a book and the first few chapters were about the character going about his normal life (unless the character was a soldier or bounty hunter or something) then I'd get bored very quickly.

In the book I'm currently writing (or attempting to I should say) the first chapter introduces three or four main characters, includes a barfight and a hint of a "bigger things" I have showed the first chapter to a variety of people who have mostly said they want to know what happens.

In my opinion, you should open with a quick introduction and introduce some form of conflict, theres always time to add more depth to the characters along the way.

Hope this helps...

[Anne Lyle]

Originally Posted by Hawke

I think that the early chapters should introduce the core characters of your story but they also need to involve some form of action to hook the reader and keep them interested, I don't know about anyone else but if I picked up a book and the first few chapters were about the character going about his normal life (unless the character was a soldier or bounty hunter or something) then I'd get bored very quickly.

Very true. My Chapter One opens with the protagonist leaving the house he's been living in for several years*, but within a few pages he's being shot at and is involved in a high-speed horse-chase through the streets of London. "Local colour" then becomes a great way to throw obstacles in his path (e.g. a wedding party blocking the street outside a church), rather than being excess verbiage. Luckily my protagonist is a sword-for-hire, so this is normal life for him!

* A little slow, to be sure - that's why I have a prologue with a big, baited hook

[The Curious Orange]

Originally Posted by The Pelagic Argosy

is your prose as good as you say it is?

I'm not saying my prose is good. There are some bits I'm very proud of, but they tend to be plot twists / character development moments, rather than actual wordsmithery (in fact, a lot of the wordsmithery that I was fond of was among the first stuff to be edited out).

Is the excerpt you posted recently in the critiques section a good example of your writing style?

The excerpts that I've posted to date have been from the very beginning - the first time we meet the main characters. They are a fair representation of writing style, but once the plot gets going, the writing does shift up a gear (I hope) and there's far less description and character-meandering.

Consider that your sentences tend to be long, intricate, and modifier heavy. You yourself used the term "purple prose." Local color is fine, but I think you need to present it in a more straightforward manner. You're making your readers work too hard.
I think you need to ask yourself, on a chapter by chapter basis...and on a sentence by sentence basis...what am I trying to do right now? Then do it in the simplest way possible.

Thank you for your comments - I was already aware of this. I'm trying to fix this thing on a sentence-by-sentence basis, but I've been working on this for so long, and have re-written bits of it so many times that I've gone "wordblind", and frankly, running out of steam and enthusiasm. Part of me is thinking I should write off the time I've already invested, cut my losses and find another hobby - perhaps one that involves fresh air and exercise and meeting people.

Originally Posted by Hawke

I think that the early chapters should introduce the core characters of your story but they also need to involve some form of action to hook the reader...

In my opinion, you should open with a quick introduction and introduce some form of conflict, theres always time to add more depth to the characters along the way.

Oh, I'm not re-writing that again. I'm off to become a triathlete...

[Giovanna Clairval]

Sursum corda! Up with the hearts!

I'm not saying this because I think you are a earthworm (those have nine hearts), but because, as writers, we are all in the same situation. Sometimes we are happy with ourselves, sometimes we are under the water.

So, to make things better, I worked a little on your latest excerpt. No, it was not to exerce my wickedness (I am all heart, not at all what they say, the bane of the board, the one who scares off the regulars. Lies, blatant, heartless lies ).

I hope it'll help a little .

So, please, don't lose heart!

[The Curious Orange]

Thanks, Giovanna - your comments on the critiques thread were incredibly useful. My immediate family would disown me if I gave up on this thing now, so I guess I'm stuck with seeing it through to a conclusion!

When I get my IT problems sorted, I'll take advantage of your new-found beta-reader status and let you cast an eye over a bit more!