Chaos Bringer: Back-side blurb

[Spectrum]

Here is my proposal for a back-side blurb for my first book.

Claus Appel:
Chaos Bringer
Book One of Sentinels of Mith

Mith is a cruel world, torn by war and betrayal.

In the south, the theocratic empire of Durcac, seeking an advantage against their rival nation, the Imetrium, send their armies north, bent on conquest. General Nârkizâ, faithful but skeptical, must now balance his conscience with his loyalty towards his god and homeland.

In the peaceful town of Redglen, the young mage Carzain is bored with the prospects of an eventless life as a scholar and healer, so when the king of Runger invades, Carzain volunteers for the army. And in the chaos of war, Carzain will find his calling and begin to discover the dark secrets buried in his past.

And in the shadows, a sinister force thought long extinct seems to be awakening, and a ten-thousand-year long underground war between two shadowy brotherhoods is about to erupt in full flame.

How do you like it? Does this resume make you want to read the book? Any kind of comments welcome.

[Nik]

Um, no...

Sorry, that blurb would not appeal to me.

But, you're not far from something that might encourage me to glance inside...

Think 'flash fiction'. Cull several 'And' and a couple of 'the', shorten those sentences, make it snappy...

[Paradox 99]

Sounds good to me. I'd read it.
I'd only change one thing in the blurb

And in the shadows, a sinister force thought long extinct seems to be awakening

I'd have "is" rather than "seems to be". It's slicker and much more commital.

[Spectrum]

Thanks for the replies and sorry about the double post. Since the other thread has more replies, I request that any further replies go there. Thanks.