Conspiracy Theories.... Let's start one!

[Kasterborous]

Originally Posted by HardScienceFan

I have a theory that the mangled corpses they recently have found in the Serengeti are attempts by elephants to get at poachers' gold teeth.
i mean, we go after their tusks ,right?

<Falls out of seat laughing>

The elephants are all over the world now, why, simply because airport customs have no ruling for elephants.
I’m sure I saw one the other day, it had its hood pulled up over its head so it was a bit difficult to tell, but you could here the chink of gold teeth in its pocket (strangely enough it’s the same sound coins make.)

The truth is out there……………….

[angrybuddhist]

Originally Posted by Bristles1

the secret ingredient in kentucky fried chicken is an alarming mind altering compound known as cheap french beer. Mr k Fried apparently spilt some into is batter mix after holidaying in the south of france. If you don't belive this is a conspiracy try drinking 20 pints of cheap french lager , you will never be the same again !!!!!!

Conspiracy Theory: Extra Crispy Kentucky Fried Chicken is day old Original Recipe.

[angrybuddhist]

Conspiracy Theory: Humpty Dumpty was pushed!

[Curt Chiarelli]

Originally Posted by HardScienceFan

I have a theory that the mangled corpses they recently have found in the Serengeti are attempts by elephants to get at poachers' gold teeth.
i mean, we go after their tusks ,right?

Oh, that's gooood!

[Moonbat]

Ok, Taking the lead from you guys/gals

The EU goverment realised after WWII that people need vices in thier lives, vices that they can use to let off steam. Europes greatest scientific minds were called together in an effort to discover what would be the ultimate universal vice. After many months of research and debate they were left with several front runners.
Alcohol - Has always been strong in Europe and was seen by many as the greatest weapon to poison the masses with, they have systematically been trying to reduce the volume of alcohol in drinks, whilst increasing the tax and guilting the poulace with tales of acohol abuse and binge drinking

Drugs - Although many forms of drugs they ascertained that cannabis and cacaine were the two most likely to affect the people. They then set about confusing people with declassification and decriminalisation. The drugs themselves were grown in great fields across bulgaria and shipped out of Europe to be smuggled back in. The drugs were professed to be stronger but have actually been getting steadily weaker over time in an effort to reduce the population's tolerance.

Religion - Religion had been a means of control in Europe for centuries and although the power of the Catholic church was wearing off the joint fears of Islam and Christian fundamentalism were shaped into a global terrorist threat that would hopefully scare people into following one of the two religions. Judaism was discounted on the grounds that it was already too corrupt.

From these three front runners the EU goverment created a triangle of Vice that would ideally squeeze the population into ever tighter groups of mistrust and fear they could then rule the whole of europe without interruption and move onto conquering the world.

Presently in EU countries any vices that do not fall under the big 3 are being phased out, they have banned smoking in public, reduced the speed limit, they have cut taxes on religions, they have opened 24hr drinking facilites and they have provided over a million homes for the cultivation of cannabis. The EU actually let Poland join so that more construction workers could come over to England and build another million homes for more cannabis cultivation.

They have even gone so far as to destroy real music and replace it with manufactured Kiddy pop and gangster/prostitute R&B. They have removed anything worth watching from our TV screens and replced it with re-runs of old eastenders from the War and new docu-soaps about fat people and children with children.

Eventually everyone in Europe will only relax on one of the big 3 vices, either drugs, alcohol or religion. Obviously if you're a Rastafarian or an Irish Catholic you can relax on two.


Moonbat