Quick Dialogue Question

[Culhwch]

Okay, just a quick question here. Which is correct?

'And then I--' he grinned evilly '--smacked him.'

or

'And then I' --he grinned evilly-- 'smacked him.'

Keeping in mind the two dashes are really one long dash. Not the best context, but you get the idea I hope.

[mosaix]

I keep swapping between the two.

If there's a pause in the speech for the grin then I think the first is right. If you're just mentioning the grin in passing maybe the second, or none at all.

[Frank menser]

Wow...you have me there. If I were to write it I would have put;

'And then I--he grinned evilly--smacked him'

and likely would have been totally wrong....

~Frank

[JonCG]

I'd probably use...

'And then I...' he grinned evilly, 'Smacked him.'

[Lenny]

I'd use commas instead of dashes, and maybe change it a bit:

"And then," he grinned evilly, "I smacked him!".

In direct response to your question, it'd be a hybrid of the two - "TEXT--" text-- "TEXT"

[Teresa Edgerton]

It depends on what style guide you are using. Some copy-editors would put spaces on either side of the paired dashes, some would have none. But if you are only using a space on one side, the dashes should be next to the dialogue. (And in this case, I believe, you would treat "he grinned evilly" as a separate sentence and capitalize and punctuate it accordingly. You don't grin dialogue; this is just something dropped into the pause between two halves of a sentence.)

[Leo Medici]

I try not to use dashes within dialogue unless a character's word is being cut short for whatever reason, like: "I wish I could have b--" but he wasn't able to finish his sentiment because...

I would write yours: "And then" --he grinned evilly-- "I smacked him."

This implies that the character smiles for emphasis. I would also use double quotes because, while not as trendy, are much clearer on the whole.

[Teresa Edgerton]

I don't know about trendy, Leo; it's a matter of British/Australian vs. American usage. Culhwch's an antipodean.

[Culhwch]

Yeah, I likes me single quotes, and I ain'ts gonna change for nobody nohow.

You're right, Teresa, I never meant it to be attribution, just a pause to add a little extra info - if it was attribution, I'd use Lenny's commas. This isn't from anything I am writing, mind, just an example, but it's a structure I've used a couple of times and was justing seeing what the consensus was...

[lin robinson]

Don't use either. Use Lenny's suggestion. And why would you want to separate "I" from "smacked him?????

[Culhwch]

As I said this isn't an actual excerpt, merely a demonstration of a form. It was concieved quickly and with little thought; if it makes sense, I apologise, but that's beside the point.

And as I also already said, I would use Lenny's suggestion for attribution, which this clearly is not.