A short outline of my story

[dustinzgirl]

So, as most of you know I've been working on this novel off and on for quite a while. It went from a 5000 word short story to currently a 10,000 or so word half done novel thingy that needs a lot of brushing up....

I am doing the three 'acts' thing that is very popular in long fiction, so would like some advice---each act (or part, if you will) will probably be 4-5 chapters, each chapter is around 2500-4000 words so far, depending.

Also, for those of you who read the first version and didn't like the Christian King reference in an imaginary world, I have decided to change the evil child king to Rajas, the Child King (King of Dragons, ect.)

I wanted to run this by you guys to see if it kind of makes sense so far....

Part 1: This is where I am setting several stages.

First off, the nobility and thier inner struggles and external struggles. Lord Bart is trying to reconcile his father's death and seek vengeance against the invaders. His mother and sister are trying to reconcile the father's death by bringing new blood into the family and getting Bart to marry. This does 2 things, it gives Theodora something to do with her time (planning) and, because the girl they want bart to marry is a princess, substantiates thier holds in two sides of the earth. Then I also introduce Matt, Esmeralda's husband and thier children, who are more important later.

In the second chapter, I introduce the rich merchant and his family as well as thier problems, which are basically the oldest daughter Gardenia likes to drink and fight and basically is a pain in her ladylike mothers butt (sound familiar, teenagers?), as well as the future husband of one of the sisters, the adopted stable boy who is almost a brother, the maid, ect...

In the third chapter, the nobility and the merchant's family meet at a party for Bartholomew, where he meets Gardenia (my main heroine) and instantly can't stand her. The large portion of the third chapter is thier first meeting, as well as the arrival of the Princess Lady Theodora picked out. Basically, Bart can either marry a girl of his choice or the princess his mother and sister picked out for him. In a fluster, he picks the first girl he knows will drive his sister and mother freaking nuts--Gardenia. Bart doesn't do it because he likes gardenia, he does it to irritate his mother and sister and in an attempt to break away from thier not-so-sublte control over his life. He's trying to prove his manhood, basically.

The fourth chapter of part 1 (still in the works): Now, this is where it will set up for the second act......unknown to the nobility, the Princess is a 'secret' follower of the Rajas and dragon cult who are invading the Capital City (I know, not very creative name so far, LOL). She is none to happy about Bart's decision not to marry her, as the child king wanted her to marry Bart so they could get information prior to the planned summer attack (it is currently fall).

This chapter is centered largely around the Rajas and the control of the Princess, and religious fervor, ect...it sets the stage for the invasion in the third act, which probably wouldn't have been as fierce, but we all know the line about a woman scorned.....However, even though Bart did not decide to marry the princess, Esmeralda takes pity on her and, instead of sending her home to face the shame that would surely come (because of the princess's culture) she lets the princess stay in the castle......also, it is important to note that in the princess's culture, women even royalty, are kind of a commodity, educated and such but still infused with a responsibility to thier nation and being obedeint to thier social place, ect.ect.

[Green]

Obviously the best way to tell what a book will be like, is to read it

In the meantime... you seem to have some interesting ideas (this King of Dragons intrigues me). I would say, though, that this first part of the book seems to be some kind of romance story (or "lack of" romance ).

Is that your genre?

The third act seems to be more the kind of fantasy I am familiar with (foreign armies invading... war... death, etc.), but it seems at odds with your first part. If I were reading, I think I might enjoy the story despite the first part, rather than because of it. Having said that, obviously your writing could make it enjoyable for me

[dustinzgirl]

Originally Posted by Green

Obviously the best way to tell what a book will be like, is to read it

In the meantime... you seem to have some interesting ideas (this King of Dragons intrigues me). I would say, though, that this first part of the book seems to be some kind of romance story (or "lack of" romance ).

Is that your genre?

The third act seems to be more the kind of fantasy I am familiar with (foreign armies invading... war... death, etc.), but it seems at odds with your first part. If I were reading, I think I might enjoy the story despite the first part, rather than because of it. Having said that, obviously your writing could make it enjoyable for me

Well, the way I am doing it is more akin to a young adult romantic fantasy....the princess and the pauper on PCP?

The romance is not second stage, in fact it will have a lot more to do with the events than I can state here without actually writing the chapters, LOL. But, you know--love makes the world go around, but unrequited love can destroy the world. And thats the moral of the story.

Thank you for your comments!