Sploot Kingdom: The End Times

[GiantGreenBean]

One seemingly normal day in the Sploot Kingdom, which had recently risen up from the oceans, Jumple, Zync, Bloomeelia, and Prophet Snudd were taking a stroll through the woods. Suddenly Prophet Snudd began to spill out some prophecy, as he often did while taking strolls with his colleagues.
“Lovely day isn’t it? Take in the fresh air, and have a good look at your surroundings, because it may very well be the last good chance to do so!” exclaimed Prophet Snudd in a serious tone of voice.
“What exactly do you mean by that?” asked Jumple.
“Well, funny you should ask. Today marks the grand fulfillment of the age old prophecy known as “The End of the World As We Sort of Almost But Didn’t Quite Know It” and it is imperative that we absorb what we can and get the most out of this sacred day in the Sploot Kingdom, because according to my most recent visions, the Sploot Kingdom is about to literally fade into oblivion. Poof! Ho ho! Jolly good indeed!” said Prophet Snudd laughing happily and uncontrollably. The end of the world was every prophet’s dream come true.
“Walk faster, Snudd, you’re dragging your beard for crying out loud. How is that jolly good in any way, shape, or form?” asked Jumple.
“Well, ma boy, see according to the prophecy, the land of Sploot is bound to wither away, and a new land shall be given to us by the gods! A better world!” said Prophet Snudd, gently stroking his long silky white beard in delight.
“I am REALLY having trouble believing this!” said Bloomeelia.
“You can’t argue with facts and credible evidence! As a matter of fact, according to my most recent calculations there is a 99% chance that the end of the world as we sort of almost knew it will occur in 2 milliseconds!” declared Snudd, who had just made a shocking and astounding revelation. 2 milliseconds later, the group of four plummited into a seemingly endless pit, but thankfully landed into a strange underground area, surrounded by stalactites, sinkholes, and dissolution. But after getting themselves back up on their toes, the group of four couldn’t help but notice that in the center of the underground room, was a gigantic four headed dragon-like animal.
“What’s that..really…scary thing?” asked Zync.
“I’m not quite sure exactly what that thing is, I haven’t done much research on it…dude!” said Prophet Snudd, attempting to sound young so Zync would understand.
“WHO GOES THERE? I am what is known as the Really Scary Thing!” said the creature.
“I guess you knew what that thing was the instant you saw it, without even realizing it! Good job! You have intuition!” said Snudd. The monster roared.
“I am far more intelligent than any of you!” thundered the monster. He then let out a groan. “I am the creator of this entire world! I am what holds it together in one piece!” he thundered again.
“You know what everybody? I don’t buy this!” said Bloomeelia.
“SILENCE! Foolish sorceress, do you not realize that you yourself are not even of this world? You are a sorceress, aren’t you?” inquired the monster known as The Really Scary Thing.
“Sometimes…when I’m bored. Umm..now I REALLY don’t buy this!” said Bloomeelia.
“You and your parents both came from an abandoned corner of the Moof Kingdom, located on the Plinky Planet. The reason Zasher kidnapped your parents, Bloomeelia, is because he knew that your family bloodline had many foreign magical traits and abilities that could benefit this world and possibly prevent its end. The only way the evil Zasher could possibly rule over it is if the kingdom died. And now, even though I do not want the bad guys to take over, it is but too late as of yet. You have all refused to acknowledge the prophecies put forth on stone slabs, in scripture, and on many leaf pamphlets! And because of this, noene has done anything to prevent the end of the Sploot Kingdom as we almost sort of knew it from occuring, and as a result this kingdom must end..NOW!” yelled the Really Scary Thing.
“But Jumple rescued my parents in our last adventure! Why can’t they use their powers to stop the end of the world as we almost sort of knew it?” asked Bloomeelia.
“Because everyone now recognizes the horrible painful truth!” shouted the monster. “This is not truly the end of anything, anything but an illusion. Yes, you heard me correctly. It is a beautiful, hilarious, odd, and glorious illusion, but nevertheless, it is an illusion. How could talking fence posts possibly exist in a real world? The answer is simple. This is NOT a real world. A real world consists of floating cloaks with hats, and living booted round antennied jawbreaker candy, simply put, in a nutshell. I have already communicated with the bad guys telepathically, and informed them that this world is an illusion, and that there is no sense in ruling over an illusion! So therefore, only good can come from this kingdom’s ending!” concluded the monster. Jumple’s older sister Jezella had been overhearing the conversation, and began to speak her concerns.
“What about all the clones of Ricor Jari? You’re not just going to let them become an endangered species and die out are you?” asked Jezella.
“No, they’ll be sent to the thirteenth dimension, as well as you too. Now, it is time for this kingdom to END!” said the monster.
“I think the monster is right! Although his appearance goes contrary to my prophecy!” said Snudd.
“You, old man. You are the wisest of this bunch. You are the only one who has brains, as well as the only one who has a beard. You have been living in this illusion for 987 billion years, studying hard and growing wiser each day. I thank you for this, and it is indeed sad that the youth is so unwilling to learn anything nowadays! I suppose Jumple is well informed for his age, but even so, I can’t help but sympathize with you having to deal with these three, kind old geezer!” said the monster.
“I am appauled by what you said! Jumple is not only well informed for his age, but is extremely intelligent. The sorceress is quite smart too, but perhaps not as gifted in the realm of prophecy, and the gnome, although he lacks an interest in mathematical scholastics, is actually a quite clever little fellow, if a bit naive!” said Snudd.
“I see. I apologize on behalf of your..er…crew. But that doesn’t distract from the fact that all of you, including your..err..crew, must realize that the end is indeed upon us all! Please, listen to a wise old benevolant creature!” said The Really Scary Thing.
“If you’re so wise and benevolant and the liking, then why the heck are you known as the Really Scary Thing?” asked Jumple.
“Yeah, seriously, do we really trust that something called the scary thing is gonna somehow send us into some sort of boring Age of Aquarius and just dump us there to rot like old dried up artichokes?” asked Bloomeelia giggiling.
“That is a perfectly legitimate question, bushy tailed royal messenger lad, and sorceress. I am known as the Really Scary Thing, simply because I am the god of endings. I bring about the end of every civilization, once its time is up, simply put. Many people find that concept scary. So there is no need to fear me. Fear itself is the only thing you need to fear!” said the monster.
“But your name MEANS fear, ya big bully!!! As long as you’re out ta destroy my hopes and dreams of one day ruling over the Sploot kingdom, then you’re no friend of mine!” shouted Jumple, pulling his sword from his sheath. Snudd, Zync, Bloomeelia, and even the Scary Thing burst into laughter
“Ho ho, you, king of the Sploot Kingdom? Bah, that was never destined to be. Your future holds something different, and although it may not be what your heart truly desires, it is better for you that way!” said the Really Scary Thing.
“Who are you to say that? How would you know?” asked Jumple.
“I don’t know. I’m just tired of having the same recurring dreams over and over again. It really causes some tossing and turning. Perhaps you WOULD make a good ruler, Jumple. But gods have their own problems, constantly having to look over realms, and their ignorant inhabitants, it gets old, and to top it all off, this particular place is an ILLUSION! This kingdom must be destroyed! And all of you, except the wise old man, are to become permanent inhabitants of my BELLY!” said the monster.
“NEVER, you evil vile thing! Enguarde!” said Jumple, who began initiating a combat with the four headed dragon-like monster. The monster spewed out fireballs, and began battling the entire crew. Jumple single handedly brought down the monster by summoning a Magic Sloshy Drippy Mushroom Comet, and the monster was now weak, wet, and soggy.
“UGH! You have made me wet and soggy. Now I can not bring about the end of the world, due to this immense and for lack of better words, intense state of subjective soggyness. But keep in mind, the end will happen anyway, it is inevitable, because even though you defeated me, you’re ALL living in MY dream world!” declared the monster with an astute and scholarly inflection.
“If it’s YOUR dream woreld, then why do I sewdenly have the ability to fly?” asked Zync.
“And why is Bloomeelia standing right next to me?” asked Jumple.
“Good question!” responded Bloomeelia, pretending to be oblivious.
“Because I always TRY to focus on the positive aspects of life, which is why you folks in this particular world are usually happy. If I was more prone to nightmares, then perhaps this world, and many others would have ended LONG ago!” said the monster.
“Does the universe’s fate REALLY depend on whether or not people like YOU have
good dreams?” asked Jumple.
“No, that was just part of my exestential ramblings. It just sometimes feels that way.
Being a god is a harder thing than you would think! And now, you will all be WHISKED away to the new land! And you will all be seperated, but only temporarily!” said the monster.
“Well, Jewmple, Snewd, Blewmeldaworg, it was nice knewing yew ull, and if there’s one thing I can say about you Jewmple, is that if I never see yew again, yew awesome royal messenger yew, yew were my inner mailman, a missing held in part of my personality I never outwardly displayed!” said Zync.
“I’m not sure what that means, but I’ll sure miss you on my way to this new dimension, buddy!” said Jumple, as a giant vortex sucked him and Snudd inside (happy traaaaaails to you, until we meet again). Zync was astonished by the fact that he and Bloomeelia had not been whisked into the vortex.
“Why didn’t you rapture US?” asked Zync.
“Yeah, those people were some of the only two cretins that ever cared about us! They cared about me, and I care about them, the way salamanders care about submarines!” protested Bloomeelia.
“Don’t worry, your time to join them will come soon! But for now, I figured you and Zync would be able to nurse me back to health!” said the monster.
“Oh, sure, how fun. As long as you promise I won’t be doing this for the rest of my life! I still can’t believe this is really happening!” said Bloomeelia. Meanwhile, on the other side of the vortex……..







A vast world spreaded out before Prophet Snudd and Jumple like peanut butter. This world was a vast glorious splendiferous freedom filled magical wonderful world known as the Plinky Planet.
“We’re gonna LIVE! We’re gonna live! We’re gonna LIVE….in the Plinky Kingdom? I’ve read books about this place!” said Jumple.
“I’ve heard that recently the people of this planet have been searching for a magic area known as the Rainbow River, which could possibly grant incredible powers. But that Zasher and his ghoulish goons are trying to use it to gain immortality! We have to help the great hero Plinky stop them!” said Snudd.
“But I miss Zync and Bloomeelia!! Especially Bloomeelia, the love of my life! They cared about me, and I cared about them, the way frogs care about stereo systems!” protested Jumple. Prophet Snudd laughed with glee at Jumple’s words almost as if he relished Jumple’s suffering to a certain extent.
“They’ll come to this land eventually “In the meantime, we must do what we can to battle the evil forces that plague us like the black licorice jellybeans they are! Don’t go lilly livered on me bucko! You don’t need to miss anyone laddie buck! Always remember that we’re men, I think, err, yes, we are, well, although I come off to most as more of a ghost than a man, due to me long long beard, and even though you strike me as more of a lad, and even though when that old ogre lady with a vision problem saw ye in her Tai Chi class wearing a red shirt, she mistook ye for Red Riding hood, you could pass for a man anyway with your head fur cut a little bit, ahem, more importantly, we’re definately men on the inside Jumple, and men can handle and undergo anything! Are we men or are we mice? We’re mice, ahem I mean Men. Why, I once fasted and meditated knee-deep in potting soil while singing about mustard greens for an entire year and then some We are truly invincible mighty creatures. Any trial or tribulation, lack of food, lack of tooth paste, lack of tissue paper, anything! The FLIBB and the SNIBB, ye shall trample down. The dragon and the marching band of living mud monsters, ye shall also trample down! Remain strong, just like ye always have, my brave son!” said Snudd handing Jumple a bag of potato chips.
Jumple agreed hesitantly, with a tear in his eye, and they set off to find and help Plinky defeat Zasher and continue the never ending battle against evil. All lived happily ever after, and one day, Bloomeelia and Zync finally joined Jumple and Snudd to live in the Plinky Kingdom. Many many many many many years, eons, and lifetimes later, Jumple married Bloomeelia and ruled alongside her over the bountiful prosperous Dragon Kingdom after it was liberated from the clutches of evil reptillian overlords, Zasher and Vale. Prophet Snudd opened up a Trimbulene Treadmills fan gear shop, and Mooshy opened up a dress shop. The Amazing Ogre Bros. became famous movie actors known for their dance fiestas, and Zync became a world famous legendary hero, as predicted by Prophet Snudd.