Jokes Of The Day. . . - Page 5 - Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums

Faceless Woman · 2nd December 2006, 11:21 PM

In a courtroom, a mugger was on trial. The victim, asked if she recognised the defendant, said, 'yes, that's him, I saw him as clear as day, I'd remember him anywhere.' The defendant, unable to help himself, burst out with 'She's lying! I was wearing a mask!'

Rosemary · 3rd December 2006, 01:27 AM

Three tourists were driving down the highway trying to get to Disneyland. They saw a sign that read

'Disneyland Left'

So they went home...

Faceless Woman · 4th December 2006, 10:55 AM

lol. Sounds about right, for some people I know (not me, shut up).

Can't eat beef because of mad cow disease.
Can't eat poultry because of bird flu.
Can't eat vegetables because of chemicles.
Can't eat pork because I'm Jewish.
Only one thing left I can eat... Chocolate!

I've got another joke... Marky.

Oh... he's crying... I'm sorry Marky, I didn't mean it...

Paige Turner · 4th December 2006, 03:47 PM

Guy goes to the doctor with a bad rash all over.
Doctor says, "Take a bath in milk."
Guy says, "Pasteurized?"
Doctor says, "No, just up to your chin."

Paige Turner · 4th December 2006, 05:51 PM

"I call my dog Locksmith."
"Why's that?"
"Cause every time I kick him, he makes a bolt for the door."

Paige Turner · 5th December 2006, 05:35 PM

Cop hands a speeder a speeding ticket.
Driver grumbles, "What am I supposed to do with this?"
Cop says, "Keep it. When you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

Faceless Woman · 6th December 2006, 09:43 AM

Hehe. post that one in the 'smart alec responses' thread.

Knock knock.

scalem X · 6th December 2006, 10:48 AM

who's there?

Memnoch · 6th December 2006, 11:40 AM

(lmao at SCA's Santas hat thats great lol)

erm who is there F.W. ??

Faceless Woman · 6th December 2006, 12:36 PM

(sorry, forgot)
Doctor

Memnoch · 6th December 2006, 12:38 PM

(Alzheimers setting in hun?)

Doctor what the hell do you want!!!

Memnoch · 6th December 2006, 12:38 PM

oops ruined it . .

Faceless Woman · 6th December 2006, 12:40 PM

Guess you know it. Well the old ones are the best.
Did you hear th moo-moo one?
No it has nothing to do with cows.

Memnoch · 6th December 2006, 12:41 PM

no . . . oh god go on!!!

Faceless Woman · 6th December 2006, 12:46 PM

Well, there are three blokes exploring the jungle, when they run into a local tribe. The Cheif tells them that they are trespassing, and must be punished. They are captured.
The punishment is a choice between death and moo-moo. The first bloke chooses moo-moo and gets some plums stuffed up his ***. The second bloke sees that, thinks that doesn't look too bad, and chooses moo-moo too. He gets a pinapple.
The third guy doesn't think he could take worse than a pinapple, so he chooses death. "So be it." Says the Cheif. "Death by moo-moo."

2nd December 2006, 11:21 PM	#61 (permalink)
Faceless Woman Pet Nymeria. Now die. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 398	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . In a courtroom, a mugger was on trial. The victim, asked if she recognised the defendant, said, 'yes, that's him, I saw him as clear as day, I'd remember him anywhere.' The defendant, unable to help himself, burst out with 'She's lying! I was wearing a mask!'

3rd December 2006, 01:27 AM	#62 (permalink)
Rosemary The Wicked Sword Maiden Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Australia, Western Australia Posts: 4,062 Blog Entries: 34	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Three tourists were driving down the highway trying to get to Disneyland. They saw a sign that read 'Disneyland Left' So they went home...

4th December 2006, 10:55 AM	#63 (permalink)
Faceless Woman Pet Nymeria. Now die. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 398	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . lol. Sounds about right, for some people I know (not me, shut up). Can't eat beef because of mad cow disease. Can't eat poultry because of bird flu. Can't eat vegetables because of chemicles. Can't eat pork because I'm Jewish. Only one thing left I can eat... Chocolate! I've got another joke... Marky. Oh... he's crying... I'm sorry Marky, I didn't mean it... Last edited by Faceless Woman; 4th December 2006 at 11:26 AM.

4th December 2006, 03:47 PM	#64 (permalink)
Paige Turner Just another busted robot Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 706	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Guy goes to the doctor with a bad rash all over. Doctor says, "Take a bath in milk." Guy says, "Pasteurized?" Doctor says, "No, just up to your chin."

4th December 2006, 05:51 PM	#65 (permalink)
Paige Turner Just another busted robot Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 706	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . "I call my dog Locksmith." "Why's that?" "Cause every time I kick him, he makes a bolt for the door."

5th December 2006, 05:35 PM	#66 (permalink)
Paige Turner Just another busted robot Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 706	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Cop hands a speeder a speeding ticket. Driver grumbles, "What am I supposed to do with this?" Cop says, "Keep it. When you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

6th December 2006, 09:43 AM	#67 (permalink)
Faceless Woman Pet Nymeria. Now die. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 398	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Hehe. post that one in the 'smart alec responses' thread. Knock knock.

6th December 2006, 10:48 AM	#68 (permalink)
scalem X I am, the scallywag Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Japan Posts: 1,434	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . who's there?

6th December 2006, 11:40 AM	#69 (permalink)
Memnoch Devilish in a fun way! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lancashire Posts: 280	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . (lmao at SCA's Santas hat thats great lol) erm who is there F.W. ??

6th December 2006, 12:36 PM	#70 (permalink)
Faceless Woman Pet Nymeria. Now die. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 398	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . (sorry, forgot) Doctor

6th December 2006, 12:38 PM	#71 (permalink)
Memnoch Devilish in a fun way! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lancashire Posts: 280	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . (Alzheimers setting in hun?) Doctor what the hell do you want!!!

6th December 2006, 12:38 PM	#72 (permalink)
Memnoch Devilish in a fun way! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lancashire Posts: 280	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . oops ruined it . .

6th December 2006, 12:40 PM	#73 (permalink)
Faceless Woman Pet Nymeria. Now die. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 398	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Guess you know it. Well the old ones are the best. Did you hear th moo-moo one? No it has nothing to do with cows.

6th December 2006, 12:41 PM	#74 (permalink)
Memnoch Devilish in a fun way! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lancashire Posts: 280	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . no . . . oh god go on!!!

6th December 2006, 12:46 PM	#75 (permalink)
Faceless Woman Pet Nymeria. Now die. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 398	Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Well, there are three blokes exploring the jungle, when they run into a local tribe. The Cheif tells them that they are trespassing, and must be punished. They are captured. The punishment is a choice between death and moo-moo. The first bloke chooses moo-moo and gets some plums stuffed up his ***. The second bloke sees that, thinks that doesn't look too bad, and chooses moo-moo too. He gets a pinapple. The third guy doesn't think he could take worse than a pinapple, so he chooses death. "So be it." Says the Cheif. "Death by moo-moo."

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