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| Humour General playroom for all humour and jokes. |
13th November 2006, 03:08 PM
| #46 (permalink) |
| Shiny! Let's be bad guys.  Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Northamptonshire
Posts: 1,797
| Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Relax, its only a story. You shouldn't get so involved with cameo fictional characters. Everyone knows the person in the joke is Bill Bailey playing a trick on the unsuspecting landlord's mind. |
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13th November 2006, 03:13 PM
| #47 (permalink) | |
| Devilish in a fun way!  Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lancashire
Posts: 280
| Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Quote:
Ahhhh that will remain a mystery . . . x | |
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13th November 2006, 04:23 PM
| #48 (permalink) |
| Devilish in a fun way! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lancashire
Posts: 280
| Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Geoff walks into a room only Alan is there . . . "Hi" says Geoff "Your flys down Geoff!!" retorts Alan "Oh thanks!" replies Geoff with a touch of embaressment. Zippp WOW don't you hate that? |
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13th November 2006, 05:04 PM
| #53 (permalink) |
| Flaming Poltergeist  | Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . adj who? (that sounds like a sneeze...are you going to reply with bless you or something?...actually, I can't wait to see your reply, knowing you it will be something either completely random, or something really normal that won't be funny  ) |
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14th November 2006, 02:34 PM
| #55 (permalink) |
| Shiny! Let's be bad guys. Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Northamptonshire
Posts: 1,797
| Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . I'll probably get in trouble for this, but its so true  A Guide to Interpreting Women's Words FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade. NOTHING This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine" GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine" GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing" SOFT SIGH Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content. THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow." GO AHEAD! At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. PLEASE DO This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay" THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome. THANKS A LOT This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing" |
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14th November 2006, 03:38 PM
| #57 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,846
| Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, they set up their tent and are asleep. Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see?" Robin replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" asks Batman. Robin ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically,it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Batman?" Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks: "Robin, you idiot, it means someone has stolen our tent!" |
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14th November 2006, 06:19 PM
| #60 (permalink) |
| Ubi amici, ibi opes...  Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Southampton
Posts: 7,890
| Re: Jokes Of The Day. . . Lol! There's another like that: An Iraqi, an American and an Israeli walk into a bar. A great example of national and religious tolerance that we should all aspire to. |
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