A Little Light Exercise

[devilgoblin]

Wrote this years ago. What do you think?

A Little Light Exercise


As he lay hidden in the undergrowth Captain Jean-Luc Picard began to seriously regret agreeing to try Lieutenant Worf's newest callisthenics programme. At first he thought it would be an amusing challenge but the further into the scenario he got, the less he began to like it - it was almost too real. Although he had never really participated in one of the programmes Picard felt that Worf had obviously programmed the creatures very close to the maximum safety margin. They were more aggressive than in any of Worf's previous programmes according to the other crewmembers that had accepted Worf's invitation to join him.
A bush rustled near Picard and he tensed, gripping the sword-like weapon Worf had given him, even tighter until his knuckles turned white. The noise grew louder and as the bush parted Picard leapt up and swung the sword towards the figure before him.
"Captain!" Worf exclaimed as he dodged the blow. "If you are not happy with the programme then perhaps it would be easier to deactivate it than behead me."
"My apologies Mister Worf," Picard smiled and lowered his weapon. "I thought you were one of your new improved monsters coming to get me."
"But as you can see I am not," Worf said.
"Indeed not," agreed Picard. "But when you're as tense as I am you begin to think any noise is caused by the enemy."
"Hardly," snorted Worf as if insulted and then knelt down behind the bush as a roar sounded nearby. "What do you think of my new programme Captain?" he asked, his eyes glinting with excitement. "Does it meet with your approval?"
"Most.....energetic," replied Picard, groping for the right word and trying not to insult Worf. "But perhaps a little too real for me."
"I understand Captain," said Worf nodding.
"Don't misunderstand me Lieutenant," Picard continued. "It is ideally suited for you but I'm not as fit as I used to be and certainly not as strong as you."
"Nevertheless," Worf stated. "These creatures should present no problem to warriors of our standing at only difficulty level two."
Picard only nodded, not wanting Worf to realise that even at level two he was finding it hard going and dreaded to think what the higher difficulty levels were like. As he thought about them Picard ardently wished that Worf would not ask him to try out the later levels, or at the very least give him a better weapon than the sword he now held - a phaser would be very helpful Picard decided. Just as he was about to make another comment the roar sounded again, much closer than before.
"I think they found us," sighed Picard, rubbing the sweat from his palms.
"I hope so," agreed Worf. "Or I would have gone looking for them!"
Picard shot a glance at Worf and saw the exhilaration in Worf's face as one of the creatures came thundering through the bushes and spotted them. It howled in triumph and charged at them holding its weapon aloft, ready to strike downwards onto an enemy's unprotected head.
Snarling in return Worf stood up and ran at the creature, keeping the point of his sword low and as Picard watched Worf neatly ran the creature through before it could swing its own weapon at Worf.
"Very good Lieutenant," Picard called out.
As Worf was finishing off the first creature, another came running towards them, obviously drawn by the other's howl. Worf could not see the approach of the second monster as he had his back to it and before Picard could shout a warning the beast swung its club around and knocked Worf's legs out from under him.
Worf gasped in surprise and fell to the ground on top of the creature he had just dispatched, as he fell the second monster snarled in victory and knocked Worf's sword from his hand. As Picard watched he realised that the beast had not seen him and therefore was completely unaware of his presence and so, smiling to himself, Picard crept up behind the creature and raised his sword.
Merde! Picard thought. What am I doing? Why did I agree to this?
As the beast raised it's club to crush Worf's face Picard finally made up his mind and swung the sword, taking off the monster's arm. The beast raised it's face and howled in agony, this gave Worf a chance to get to his feet but rather than retrieve his own weapon the Klingon simply leapt at the monster and wrapped his hands around it's throat, intent on throttling it. Picard watched silently as Worf finally snapped the creature's neck and hurled it onto the corpse of the other dead fiend.
"Thank you Captain," Worf muttered with a slight undertone of anger and humiliation in his voice.
"My pleasure Mister Worf," remarked Picard and suddenly whirled as another roar sounded behind him.
"It appears that the others have finally tracked us down," Worf commented, stooping to pick up his sword.
Picard gulped slowly. "Others?" Worf nodded and Picard sighed heavily. "How many others Lieutenant?"
"No more than five," replied Worf. "I would not wish for us to be overwhelmed."
Picard lifted his eyes to the sky and silently prayed for deliverance from Klingon enthusiasm and understatement. "Well," he said finally. "Do we go after them or let them come to us?"
Worf grinned. "We hunt them."
"That's what I thought you'd say," Picard admitted, flexing his stiff sword arm and pointing towards the now louder bellowing. "Shall we?"
Anything to get this over and done with soon decided Picard.
"I shall lead," Worf explained. "This will allow you to select your opponent carefully."
"I appreciate your offer Lieutenant," said Picard and followed Worf into the bushes.
It took them only a few moments to locate the other creatures and as Worf had predicted there were five of them, all of them at least a third taller than Picard and armed to the proverbial teeth into the bargain.
Before Picard could pass comment Worf yelled in challenge and ran forward to attack, leaving Picard muttering curses to himself as he struggled to catch up with seemingly unperturbable Klingon.
When Picard finally reached the battle he found himself face to face with a creature that bore an uncanny resemblance to an animated skeleton. Skullface Picard realised, having heard about the creature from Commander Riker.
Skullface grinned evilly and swung his great double-edged sword straight at Picard's head, who barely managed to catch the blow on his own weapon and prevent it splitting him down the middle. Picard swung at Skullface's unprotected back as the creature passed him by but it spun around faster than he thought possible and deflected the attack.
They continued to swing at each other for several minutes before Picard discerned that despite Skullface's strength he was fairly stupid and was relying on bludgeoning tactics to get past Picard's guard. This sudden revelation provided Picard with the insight he needed to lure Skullface into overextending himself in an attempt to sever his opponent's torso from his legs. As Skullface tumbled to the ground in front of him Picard reversed his sword and drove it into the base of Skullface's neck, severing the spinal chord.
Picard let out an explosive breath as Skullface let out a final gasp and died, leaving Picard feeling exhausted and relieved. It was at that moment that Picard realised that the sounds of Worf's struggle had stopped, and fearing the worst he whirled around bringing his sword up in a defensive posture.
What he saw amazed him. The other four creatures were all dead and piled in heap before Worf who stood silently and watched Picard his eyes shining in admiration.
"I see you won then," Picard said breathlessly.
"I dispatched them quickly in order to watch you Captain," Worf explained. "And I admit I find your tactics against Skullface most impressive."
Picard nodded in acknowledgement. "Thank you Lieutenant," he commented. "I'm not used to that sort of opponent however."
"Captain?" Worf said uncertainly.
"My fencing opponents are all people I know Lieutenant," responded Picard. "This is the first time one has seemed hell bent on killing me."
Worf laughed loudly. "I understand," he conceded. "But was it not more stimulating when your life depends on the outcome the conflict."
Picard sighed. "Indeed," he agreed wearily.
Just at that moment the comm system buzzed. "Bridge to Captain Picard," it was Commander Riker.
"Go ahead Number One," Picard called.
"Incoming transmission for you sir," Riker informed him.
"On my way, Picard out."
"Until next time," Worf said to Picard as they headed for the exit. "Computer, end program," he added.
Picard hoped there would never be a next time.