[Maria8475]

Hey Clairegi, welcome to the forum. Hope you have fun posting.

Okay I've been rewatching some of my fave eps so have plenty of quotes.....you've been warned.

SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED
Angel: When you first wake up it's a little disorienting. He'll show.
Buffy: It's weird to think of you going through that.
Angel: It's weird to go through.

Buffy: Nope. Why? Are you jealous?
Angel: Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Buffy: Is it 'cause I danced with him?
Angel: 'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer.
Buffy: Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success.
Angel: I am not jealous.
Buffy: You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?
Angel: See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.

Buffy: Then if you wouldn't mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the 'idiot' part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.
Xander: Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on.
Buffy: I fear you.

Xander: Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?
Giles: You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your business.
Xander: Y'know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.

Willow: This shouldn't take long. I'm probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office bookmarked as a favorite place.

Xander: Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
Giles: Here, here.
Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.

Buffy: And he broke Cordy's heart? Thus possibly proving its existence.

Angel: Cordelia told me the truth.
Xander: That's gotta be a first.

Cordelia: It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things always happening to me?
Xander: Karma!

Buffy: Could this get yuckier?
Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
Buffy: Question answered.

Buffy: Okay, Giles, just remember, 'I feel a thing, you feel a thing...' But personalize it.
Giles: Personalize it?
Buffy: She's a technopagan, right? Ask her to bless your laptop.

Giles: I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.

Giles: Did you just say 'date'?
Jenny: You noticed that, huh?

LIE TO ME
Cordelia: And I know the peasants were all depressed...
Xander: I think you mean 'oppressed'.
Cordelia: Whatever. They were cranky.

Xander: Hey, it's me. If Angel's doing somethin' wrong, I wanna know. 'Cause it gives me a happy!
Buffy: Mm, I'm glad someone has a happy.

Xander: This is Ford, my bestest friend of all my friends! Jeez, doesn't she know any fat guys?

Buffy: So. What'd you do last night?
Angel: Nothin'.
Buffy: Nothing at all. You ceased to exist?

Ford: Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire.
Buffy: What? Whating a what?

Willow: No! I just... I'm not supposed to have boys in my room.
Angel: I promise to behave myself.

Angel: I guess I need help.
Willow: Help? You mean like on homework? No, 'cause you're old and you already know stuff.
Angel: I want you to track someone down. On the 'Net.
Willow: Oh! Great! I'm so the 'Net girl.

Buffy: Okay, Will, fess up.
Willow: What?
Buffy: Are you drinking coffee again? 'Cause we've talked about this.

Giles: You are not, by any chance, betraying your secret identity just to impress, um, cute boys, are you?

Xander: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one.
Angel: Could you not call me that?

Willow: The Lonely Ones?
Angel: Vampires.
Xander: Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones.

Giles: A book! It took one of my books!
Jenny: Well, at least someone in this school is reading.

Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.

THE FRESHMAN
Buffy: I like books... I just don't want to take on too much. Do they have an introduction to the modern blurb?

Willow: Anyway, Professor Walsh is supposed to be great. She's like world-renowned.
Buffy: How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be nowned first?
Willow: Yes, first there's the painful nowning process.

Willow: "Images of Pop Culture." This is good. They watch movies and TV shows, even commercials.
Buffy: For credit?
Willow: Isn't college cool?
Buffy: How did I miss that one?
Willow: You did sort of wait until the last minute with your course selection.
Buffy: Sorry, Miss I-chose-my-major-in-play-group.

Girl: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
Buffy: Uh, you know, I meant to, and then I just got really busy.

Willow: I've heard about five different issues, and I'm angry about each and every one of them.

Willow: It's just, in high school, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon. You really had to work to learn anything. But here, the energy, the collective intelligence... It's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know, and letting this place just thrust into and, and spurt knowledge into... That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.

Willow: Ooh, boyfriend! It's my on-campus boyfriend.
Buffy: Oh, no, I forgot to pick mine up. Line's probably really long now, too.

Buffy: Gentleman of leisure? Isn't that just British for unemployed?
Willow: Uh-huh. He's a slacker now.

Buffy: I can't wait till Mom gets the bill for these books. I hope it's a funny aneurysm.

Buffy: Yeah, you know, 'cause everyone's got a brain. Or... almost everyone.

Buffy: You know, I was just wondering - Professor Walsh isn't planning on yelling at me and kicking me out of the class, is she?
Riley: It's not in her lesson plan.

Eddie: Did you lose your way?
Buffy: Me? Oh, no, no, no - I'm just going to Fisher Hall, which I know is on the... Earth planet. Recently voted "Most Pathetic", uh-huh.
Eddie: Well, I'm lost, and I have a map, so...
Buffy: Ooh, I come in second.

Buffy: I still feel like carrying around a security blanket.
Eddie: Of Human Bondage. Have you ever read it?
Buffy: Oh, I'm not really into porn. I mean, I'm just trying to cut way back.

Willow: You made a friend? Good for you.
Buffy: Thanks, Mom.

Vamp girl: Does this sweater make me look fat?
Sunday: No. The fact that you're fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look... purple.

Buffy: I think someone had just a little too much free time on their hands.
Giles: I'm not supposed to have a private life?
Buffy: No! Because you're very, very old, and it's gross.

Buffy: And you are?
Sunday: Oh, I'm Sunday. I'll be killing you here in a minute or so.
Buffy: You know, that threat gets more frightening every time I hear it.
Guy Vamp: Uh, are we gonna fight, or is there just gonna be a monster sarcasm rally?

Buffy: Is America nice? I hear it's nice.

Buffy: College is good.
Xander: Okay, once more, with even less feeling.

Xander: When it's dark, and I'm all alone, and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think "What would Buffy do?" You're my hero. Okay, sometimes when it's dark, and I'm all alone, I'd think, "What is Buffy wearing?"
Buffy: Can that be one of those things you never, ever tell me about?

Xander: You up for a little reconnaissance?
Buffy: You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?
Xander: No, that was the renaissance.
Buffy: Oh. I've had a really long week.

Buffy: Oh! That's my skirt! You're never gonna fit in it with those hips. We have to kill them.

Sunday: Say, don't I know you from... beating the crap out of you?

Willow: Buffy wouldn't just take off. That's just not in her nature. Except for that one time she disappeared for several months and changed her name, but there were circumstances then. There's no circumstances.

Willow: How can you be so calm?
Oz: Long, arduous hours of practice.

Xander: Do we hug?
Oz: I think we're too manly.

Buffy: When you look back at this - in the three seconds it'll take you to turn to dust - I think you'll find the mistake was touching my stuff.

Giles: Let's find the evil, and fight it together.
Buffy: Great. Thanks. We'll get right on that.
Giles: The evil is this way?

INTERVENTION
Buffy: Hey, Dawn? If there's any dishes in your room, let's have 'em before they get furry and we have to name them.

Buffy: Weird love is better than no love.

Buffy: A Guide, but no water or food. So it leads me to the sacred place and then a week later it leads you to my bleached bones?
Giles: Buffy, really. It takes more than a week to bleach bones.

Buffy: So, how does it start?
Giles: I… jump out of the circle, jump back in, and, and, shake my gourd.
Buffy: Hey, I think I know this ritual. The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the Hokey-Pokey and to turn themselves around-

Buffy Robot: Xander! And… Anya! How's your money?
Anya: Fine! Thank you for asking.

Buffy Robot: Do I look hot to you?
Spike: Always.

Anya: Buffy's boinking Spike.
Willow: Oh. Well, Tara's right, grief can be powerful and we shouldn't judge -
Tara: What are you, kidding? She's nuts!

Buffy Robot: Angel's lame. His hair goes straight up and he's bloody stupid.

Anya: We're just kinda thrown by the, you having sex with Spike.
Buffy: The who whatting how with huh?

Xander: No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled-
Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike, but I'm starting to think you are.

Buffy Robot: Say, look at you! You look like me! We're very pretty.

Xander: Spike must have had her built so he could program her to…
Buffy: Oh God.
Willow: Yikes. Imagine the things-
Buffy: No! Stop imagining! All of you!
Xander: Already got the visual.

Buffy Robot: You're right. He's evil. Killing him is the only way. We're the Slayer and that's what we do. But you should see him naked.

Dawn: We're safe. Right. And Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with.

Spike: Buffy - the other… the not-as-pleasant Buffy. Something happened to Dawn it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her being in that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did.
(AWWWWWWWWW!)

Maria :star: