Snowwhite and the Seven Dwarves(a mixed Fairytale)

[13jay]

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (a mixed fairy tale story
Note: This fic is not meant to wump any persons or beings if the likelier people tend to be hurt in some fashion it is purely coincidental.

Dedicated to children’s fairytale dreamsand Purple Hamsters everywhere.





General Hammond: Can you tell me exactly what happened, in your own words?
Sam Carter: Well it all happened like this sir…

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (a mixed fairy tale story)… A LOTR/ SG-1 fic.


Scene 1: SG-1 beginnings.
Narrator: A knock is heard at the door.

Jack: Knock! Knock!
Daniel: Who’s there?
Jack: Jack.
Daniel: Jack who?
Jack: Jack in the beanstalk.
Asmiley: No your not!
13jay: Stick with the script you two!
Jack: She doesn’t know us very well does she?
Daniel: Nope.
13jay: I meant stick with your character.
Jack: Well I’m not one for short roles.
Asmiley: It’s not my fault your costume won’t really fit you.
13jay: Yes it is.
Asmiley: Oh yeah. Never mind.
Jack: Hey!
Daniel: How come you always yell hey?
Jack: Um because it’s what I say and I’m … I’m…
Asmiley: An arrogant stick in the mud!
Jack: I am not!
13jay: Says who?
Jack: Says me!
Skip: And several fans to boot.
13jay: Where did you come from?
Skip: I go where Jack Goes.
Asmiley: Well you’re going to have to let him do this fic on his own.
13jay: Yeah what happened to my fic? It’s barely started and it’s already been interrupted.
Asmiley: Well what do you expect when Jack is in the story?
Jack: Hey!
Daniel: You said it again.
Jack: So what? Asmiley is insulting.
13jay: Don’t say that about my sis.
Jack: Well it’s true! She can’t go a whole fic without insulting me.
Asmiley: Can too.
Jack: Bet ya anything you can’t…
Asmiley: Anything?
Jack: Anyth... Wait a minute what am I doing?
Daniel: Making a deal with the devil.
Asmiley: Hey!
(Side note 13jay sees the look of anger on Asmiley’s face and decides to take action before Daniel gets turned into somethin unnatural.)
13jay: People! People! I know this is a very interesting conversation but we must get back to the fic! And Daniel don’t you dare call Asmiley the devil! Please continue Samantha.

General Hammond: Enter.
Narrator: The SG-1 team walks into Hammond’s office.
Sam C.: You called us sir?
Gen. Hammond: I have a very important mission for you.
Jack: Are you going to tell us what it is?
General Hammond: Of course.
Asmiley Narrator: Says Hammy as he glares at Jack.
Gen. Hammond: This mission is to make contact with a primitive race of people in a world with few technological advancements and a paranormal atmosphere.
Narrator: Daniel’s ears perk up.
Sam C.: Paranormal atmosphere? … Sir?
Hammond: Yes well, that’s what this mission is to discover. We want to learn more about the peoples of P-PH.
Daniel: I have to ask: PH?
Narrator: Hammond explains and SG-1 goes to prep for the mission.
~~~~~~~~~~














I'll give you pointer since the cast list isn't up yet>> Sauruman is the evil queen in SnowWhite.

Scene two: Writer’s Block in Middle Earth

Asmiley: I don’t know what to write.
13jay: Well we have to go from the LOTR point of view now.
Asmiley: YAY! This is the part I’ve been waiting for!
Sauruman walks in, in full costume. His full costume includes a long flowing gown with bustle and Corset, high heels, blush, lipstick, eye shadow, let’s just say heavy make up, dangly earrings, and a queen’s tiara and other jewelry.
(Loud roaring laughter breaks out all around the room.)
Sauruman: What’s with this outfit you have me wearing?!
13jay: (Trying to keep her composure … finally calms down enough to speak.) It was the only role we had left.
Sauruman: What?!?!
Asmiley: You’ll just have to deal with it.
Sauruman: But a Corset?
Asmiley: Yep a corset, and the heels; the whole lot of it.
Sauruman: I am not wearing heels!
Asmiley: What?!?! And you expect that we’re going to let you wear tennis shoes?
Sauruman: Well no, but not heels!
13jay: Yes heels or you can stay out of the fic.
Sauruman: Fine!
Asmiley: Wow I can’t believe you’d let such a large part get a way from you. Everyone who’s anyone from middle Earth is in this fic and you want us to find someone else? That doesn’t sound like an opportunity you’d want to miss.
Sauruman: I didn’t say I didn’t want to be in it but can’t you find me another part or something? Anything?
Asmiley: Anything? You don’t know us very well do you?
Sauruman: well no we just met a few minutes ago.
Asmiley: You’ll take anything?
Sauruman: Yes anything.
13jay: Well you could be a tree.
Sauruman: I’m not being a tree.
Asmiley: Now he has to be a tree!
Sauruman: No way!
13jay: You Complain about something and it happens. Take it or leave it.
Sauruman: Okay then, I’ll play the wicked woman
13jay: and you’re also still going to be a tree.
Sauruman: What? I did not agree to this.
13jay: Of course you did. When you complained about your part you asked for another one.
Sauruman: Oh Fine! But I won’t be amiable!
Asmiley: Well that’s good we need you to be your unagreeable self.
(Purple hamster walks in...)
Purple hamster: Yubou mubean unagreabubble dubon’t Yubou?
Sauruman: huh?
13jay: yubep. Thubat ubis ubexubactly whubat shubee mubeant.
Asmiley: aww how cute a purple hamster. Isn’t he cute?
Sauruman: nope
Gandalf: how can you say that? He is just the cutsie wootsiest creature I ever saw.
Purple hamster: Wubell thankies muches.
13jay: whabut ubis yubuor nubame lubittle ubone?
Purple hamster: Muby nubame ubis Toodles.
13jay: wubell Wubelcubome tubo Middle Earth.
Asmiley: Will you stop talking hamster talk! Nobody else can understand really besides me!
13jay: I’m sorry Asmiley I was trying not to be rude.
Asmiley: yes well it is rude to those of us who don’t speak Purple Hamian. (Repeats her sentence in Purple Hamian language.)
Toodles: Sorry. (Looks up at Asmiley with his cute little eyes all watery.)
Asmiley: aww stop that. Please don’t do that! (Says in Purple Hamian.)
13jay: You know how sensitive purple hamsters are.
Asmiley: I know but still…
(Toodles runs out of the room.)
Asmiley: aww don’t go lil hamster!
(Asmiley runs after Toodles)
13jay: well I guess we can get back to the fic while Asmiley and I straighten things out with our new purple hamster friend Toodles. Um you’re up Bilbo.

(Bilbo wakes up in his chair aware that he was about to fall out of It. and asks Tom Bombadil for some more sugar for his tea.)
Bilbo: Where shall I begin?
Sauruman: At the beginning you idiot.
Gandalf: Now that’s not nice.
Samwise: Yeah you take that back you nasty old- old... wizard person you!
Frodo: Now calm down Sam he gets his just desserts in the end.
Sauruman: Yeah how come I don’t have the last chapter of the script yet?
Bilbo: Well it’s all due to the fact we didn’t think you’d want to play in this story if we showed it to you.
Sauruman: Well show it too me now!
Gandalf: It’s not that simple. 13jay has it with her. She has the only copy right now. The rest of us gave ours to Asmiley when we got here.
Sauruman: Well how can I prep for the last scene?
Pippin: Don’t you like not knowing what’s going to happen next?
Sauruman: No!
Merry: Oh. Well you’re just going to have to wait.
Gandalf: We all ought to take our places before the girls get back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

waht do you peeps think?


__________________

[neodeath]

i thought it was v.good, more more i say :lifeup:

[13jay]

There is more in a different place here I'll give you a link:
http://www.ascifi.com/forums/showthr...threadid=16602

Enjoy!