Uplifting thoughts of children

[Arc_Angel]

The following are taken from a newspaper competition in which competitors between the ages of 4 and 15 were asked to imitate "Deep thoughts by Jack Handley":

I beleive you should every day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Age 15:
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.

Age 13:
It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the President's birthday, like they do for the Queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.

Age 8:
For centries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. Thats what happens to cheese when you leave it out.

Age 6:
My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have tolf him the truth - that most of us go to hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him.

Age 10:
I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the the national debateover one's right to die and wonder over the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia, and show him a copy of the US constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have founbd many more than 4 basic elements and I show him a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts.


Age 15:
I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog. Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave away off of his stuff. Dog people sure don't have a sense of humour.

Age 14:
As you make ur way through this hectic world of ours, ste aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Age 7:
Often, when I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.

Age 15:
It owuld be terribel if the Red Cross bloodmobile got inot an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there.

Age 5:
If could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualise world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quite it would be until the looting started.

[Status]

I love them, hope you don't mind me adding a few bits of wisdom here too

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the driveway before it has stopped snowing.


"There is only one pretty child in the world...and every mother has it."
-Chinese Proverb.


A child's greatest period of growth is the
month after you've purchased new school clothes.

Anyone who says, "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.


Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.


Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.


Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

Not really, I want them back... but you can take them for a little while

Kids, You gotta' love them





:smilej:

[timdgreat]

ROFLMAO, ah so darn funny, this shouldnt be allowed online it made me fall outta my chair:rolly2:

[Steffi]

Oh you pair......

Those were absolutly stunning.
Laughed me socks off:laugh2: :laugh:

[Maria8475]

These are soo sooo sooo funny and since i recently spent a while looking after my younger siblings while my parents went on a 5 week holiday (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), a lot of them rang true. Especially liked "Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids"