A New Element - Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums

ray gower · 20th February 2003, 03:26 PM

A New Element!

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists. The element, tentatively named Administratum, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However it does have: 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons, and 111 assistant vice-neutrons This gives it an atomic mass of 312.

The 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratum is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every action with which it comes in contact.

According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratum causes one reaction to take four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than one second. Administratum has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratum occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities, and can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratum is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratum can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

Tabitha · 20th February 2003, 03:41 PM

LOL

It is depressing how accurate that is (speaking as someone who rails against the inefficient system in an administrative job :dead: ).

Status · 20th February 2003, 05:31 PM

:laugh2: :laugh: Sounds a lot like some elements around here! Frightening how true some if it is :disturbed

Arc_Angel · 20th February 2003, 06:15 PM

lol hee hee

EmilyH · 22nd February 2003, 03:28 PM

ROTFL!!!

As someone who's currently temping to pay the bills, I can attest to the accuracy of that joke.

imported_Data · 24th February 2003, 09:34 PM

LOL! Sounds like Congress

Legolas · 2nd March 2003, 03:32 PM

LOL!

I discovered an element not so long ago, i named it insanium and I'm made of it.

:flash:

gr8scott · 4th March 2003, 04:57 PM

I think my entire building is made of Administratum. That explains everything.

Cloud Strife · 13th March 2003, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Data
LOL! Sounds like Congress

Yes it does, pretty scary:disturbed :errrr: :disturbed

20th February 2003, 03:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
ray gower Registered User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Gwynedd Posts: 3,591	A New Element A New Element! The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists. The element, tentatively named Administratum, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However it does have: 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons, and 111 assistant vice-neutrons This gives it an atomic mass of 312. The 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons. Since it has no electrons, Administratum is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every action with which it comes in contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratum causes one reaction to take four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than one second. Administratum has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization. Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratum occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities, and can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings. Scientists point out that Administratum is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratum can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

20th February 2003, 03:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
Tabitha Save Angel! Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 3,638	LOL It is depressing how accurate that is (speaking as someone who rails against the inefficient system in an administrative job :dead: ).

20th February 2003, 05:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
Status Master Confusser Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,383	:laugh2: :laugh: Sounds a lot like some elements around here! Frightening how true some if it is :disturbed

20th February 2003, 06:15 PM	#4 (permalink)
Arc_Angel Mr. Flibble is very cross Join Date: May 2001 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 2,873	lol hee hee

22nd February 2003, 03:28 PM	#5 (permalink)
EmilyH MN Sci-fi Fan Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Eagan, MN, USA Posts: 548	ROTFL!!! As someone who's currently temping to pay the bills, I can attest to the accuracy of that joke.

24th February 2003, 09:34 PM	#6 (permalink)
imported_Data 'meba Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Alaska Posts: 360	LOL! Sounds like Congress

2nd March 2003, 03:32 PM	#7 (permalink)
Legolas something more magical Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: In a giant Oak tree in a forest not too far away... Posts: 3,970	LOL! I discovered an element not so long ago, i named it insanium and I'm made of it. :flash:

4th March 2003, 04:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
gr8scott Tal Shiar Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: San Diego Posts: 264	I think my entire building is made of Administratum. That explains everything.