A-E-|-0-Q - Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums

King Donut · 13th July 2002, 08:11 AM

Disclaimer: I don't own Picard or Q - but i do own the giant pancake.
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"A, E, I, O, Q."

"Hello, children. My name is Mr. Q and I will be your teacher."
"Hello Mr. Q." the children of QX said.
Mr. Q got out a book and said, "Now I'm going to take the register...Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Q?"
"Here sir!"
"Right, it looks like we're all here. Good. Now today we will be doing maths. I'll hand out your text and exercise books..."
The teacher hands them out and goes to the moniter with a drawing of the exercise book on.
"Write your name here..."
"Q" appears on the top line of the exercise book drawing.
"Then write the subject..."
"Maths" appears.
"And then the teacher..."
"Q" comes up again.
The picture disappeared and Mr. Q put up a sum for the children. It was:
Five tribbles take away three.
The children began writing the answers down and Mr. Q watched them carefully.
Suddenly a loud ringing noise was heard.
"Oh Q, not again! Excuse me children..." Mr. Q told them and left the class room.
"Hello? Q here."
"I want to speak with Q."
"Yes, I am Q."
"Q the mischeavious Q who annoys me."
"Yes, that would be me."
"What's that noise?"
"nothing, just the children."
"Children?"
"Yes, my class room."
"I don't want to speak with you, Q, I want to speak with Q!"
"Q who?"
Mr. Q vanished and then re-appeared in front of Captain Jean-Luc picard on the Enterprise D.
Picard was on his phone.
"Blast, he's all ready here. Nice speaking with you."
He hung up.
"Picard, how the heck do you turn these things off? I've got a class to teach."
"Wait...no, hold on...eer..." Picard was confused. "aargh! How am i supposed to know which Q is which!"
"I'm the Best of Both Worlds."
"Whatever. I've got to speak with you, Q."
"What for? You never need my help."
"Yes, but this time its very urgent -"
suddenly there was a loud cry of "Finished!" heard and Q vanished.

Mr. Q re-entered the class room and said, "Ah, finished have you?"
"Yes, Mr. Q!" all the children chanted.
"Good, I'll, er, set you another sum to do then."
The phone rang again.
"Hold on a sec."
Q was starting to get very annoyed - he's got a class to teach, for Q's sake!
He left the classroom again, got out his phone and said, "Yeah, Q here."
"Ah, Mr. Q," the voice on the phone said, "you haven't delivered that pizza to my wife yet."
Q couldn't believe it. Does this guy still think he has that job?
"I'm a school teacher now."
There was a long pause down the phone...then the voice said, "Oh. All right then."
Mr. Q hung up and re-entered the classroom yet again.
"Okay," he said, "now its time for another sum."
He decided a really hard and long one for them to do so he'll have more time on his own looking for another text book to steal. So he put up:
Ten Tribbles plus three take away one mutiplyed by fifty
Q laughed to himself. That should do it.
It was good timing too - because just then his mobile phone rang again so he had to leave the class room. This time he can stay out longer to talk, figure out how to switch the phone off and go out and steal more text books.
He answered the phone.
"It's Mr. Q so whaddya want?"
"Hello, my son can't come in today - he's terribly sick."
"Everyone is here in my classroom."
"Yes, but - really? Which teacher is this?"
"Mr. Q!"
"Mr. Who?"
"Q!!"
"Q?"
"Yes, Q!!!"
"Which one?"
"The...oh God, look, er, thanks for telling me that yer son can't ome in, alrigh'? Thank you!!!"
"I thought you said you were a different teacher...?"
"No!"
"Really?"
"No - er, yes!"
"Which one? No or yes?"
"YES!!!"
I can't believe this woman, Q thought. Who is she?
"Who are you?"
"Mrs. Q."
"Oh, God i don't believe it..."
Q was almost laughing. What a stupid woman.
"Darling!"
"Darling?!" Mrs. Q said, sounding shocked.
"Yes, it's your husband, you...hahaha!"
"Um, no, my husband is at home. I'm afraid you're confused with someone else. Goodbye."
She hung up.
Q slapped himself on the head - how can he make such an idiotic mistake? Q was having a very, very, very bad day today...
Q re-entered the classroom. The children looked at him. "eer...hold on!"
Mr. Q ran back out - now he's forgotten to swicth the phone off and steal more text books.
But before he can turn it off it rang again.
"Yes? Who. The. Heck. Is. It?" Q said, angrilly.
"Who is this?"
"I'M MR. Q, NOW WHO THE H*LL ARE YOU?"
"eerm...your wife."
"Oh my Q!"
He's really done it now - he threw the telephone across the room and it shattered into a googleplex of pieces.
Q was sweating all over.
From now on he'll never go near a telephone again.
He ran don the corridor and into another teacher's classroom.
Without hinking he jumped onto all the tables and kicked the textbooks out of their hands into the door.
He got off the tables, kicked the books out of the classroom and let them fly all the way down the corridor - but Q didn't see Mrs. Q, another teacher, walking down it.
All the books smashed into her face at once.
"What do you think you're doing, Q?!" she cried.
Q couldn't stop now.
So he ran down and kicked the textbooks down the corridor with Mrs. Q underneath them.
Then he did his biggest kick - he sent them flying through the window. And Mrs. Q too.
"aaargh! What do you think you're -?"
Q stopped.
"Oh, no, not good..."

to be concluded...again...it'll be longer than i thought it would...

ray gower · 13th July 2002, 08:37 PM

This could be quite good.

With some description the humour of the situation would show. At present it looks like a monologue.

EmilyH · 15th July 2002, 12:03 AM

Interesting idea, but I'd like to know why Q bothers to answer Picard's call in the first place if he is busy teaching. Also you need to put a space between paragraphs. I know some stories get the spacing screwed up when you paste them into forums like this. It usually works much better for me if I convert them to plain text format or HTML.

Also, how did Q start teaching in the first place? What led up to it and his decision? Or was it punishment from the Continuum for something? You should put that in the story, it'll make it more clear for the reader. This is a really interesting idea though.

Keep going, you're doing fine. Just needs a few more details, some background info, and a quick run through the grammar/spell checker.

AaronAgassi · 21st August 2006, 06:57 PM

Yours, King Donut, is an entertaining opening scene, but still in search of a story. Perhaps I'll steal it! Or might we collaborate? I have a use in mind for your most amusing vignette:

In the 'Star Trek: The Ship of Fools' ( http://www.FoolQuest.com/enter.htm ) incomplete story 'The Future of an Illusion' at http://www.FoolQuest.com/star_trek_t...n_illusion.htm , in a subplot, one character becomes fixated of the notion that another of the characters is actually none other than 'Q' in disguise!

Perhaps, with a minor change at the very end, 'A-E-|-0-Q.' appropriately surreal, might serve as an ambiguous dream sequence for her, saving to foreshadow:

'Q,' in fevered agitation, dashes into the rest room to splash cold water on his face, and in the mirror beholds another visage than his own...

Then she awakens with a start!

13th July 2002, 08:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
King Donut KiNg DoNuT Club Starter! Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 71	A-E-\|-0-Q Disclaimer: I don't own Picard or Q - but i do own the giant pancake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- "A, E, I, O, Q." "Hello, children. My name is Mr. Q and I will be your teacher." "Hello Mr. Q." the children of QX said. Mr. Q got out a book and said, "Now I'm going to take the register...Q?" "Here sir!" "Q?" "Here sir!" "Q?" "Here sir!" "Q?" "Here sir!" "Q?" "Here sir!" "Q?" "Here sir!" "Q?" "Here sir!" "Q?" "Here sir!" "Q?" "Here sir!" "Q?" "Here sir!" "Q?" "Here sir!" "Right, it looks like we're all here. Good. Now today we will be doing maths. I'll hand out your text and exercise books..." The teacher hands them out and goes to the moniter with a drawing of the exercise book on. "Write your name here..." "Q" appears on the top line of the exercise book drawing. "Then write the subject..." "Maths" appears. "And then the teacher..." "Q" comes up again. The picture disappeared and Mr. Q put up a sum for the children. It was: Five tribbles take away three. The children began writing the answers down and Mr. Q watched them carefully. Suddenly a loud ringing noise was heard. "Oh Q, not again! Excuse me children..." Mr. Q told them and left the class room. "Hello? Q here." "I want to speak with Q." "Yes, I am Q." "Q the mischeavious Q who annoys me." "Yes, that would be me." "What's that noise?" "nothing, just the children." "Children?" "Yes, my class room." "I don't want to speak with you, Q, I want to speak with Q!" "Q who?" Mr. Q vanished and then re-appeared in front of Captain Jean-Luc picard on the Enterprise D. Picard was on his phone. "Blast, he's all ready here. Nice speaking with you." He hung up. "Picard, how the heck do you turn these things off? I've got a class to teach." "Wait...no, hold on...eer..." Picard was confused. "aargh! How am i supposed to know which Q is which!" "I'm the Best of Both Worlds." "Whatever. I've got to speak with you, Q." "What for? You never need my help." "Yes, but this time its very urgent -" suddenly there was a loud cry of "Finished!" heard and Q vanished. Mr. Q re-entered the class room and said, "Ah, finished have you?" "Yes, Mr. Q!" all the children chanted. "Good, I'll, er, set you another sum to do then." The phone rang again. "Hold on a sec." Q was starting to get very annoyed - he's got a class to teach, for Q's sake! He left the classroom again, got out his phone and said, "Yeah, Q here." "Ah, Mr. Q," the voice on the phone said, "you haven't delivered that pizza to my wife yet." Q couldn't believe it. Does this guy still think he has that job? "I'm a school teacher now." There was a long pause down the phone...then the voice said, "Oh. All right then." Mr. Q hung up and re-entered the classroom yet again. "Okay," he said, "now its time for another sum." He decided a really hard and long one for them to do so he'll have more time on his own looking for another text book to steal. So he put up: Ten Tribbles plus three take away one mutiplyed by fifty Q laughed to himself. That should do it. It was good timing too - because just then his mobile phone rang again so he had to leave the class room. This time he can stay out longer to talk, figure out how to switch the phone off and go out and steal more text books. He answered the phone. "It's Mr. Q so whaddya want?" "Hello, my son can't come in today - he's terribly sick." "Everyone is here in my classroom." "Yes, but - really? Which teacher is this?" "Mr. Q!" "Mr. Who?" "Q!!" "Q?" "Yes, Q!!!" "Which one?" "The...oh God, look, er, thanks for telling me that yer son can't ome in, alrigh'? Thank you!!!" "I thought you said you were a different teacher...?" "No!" "Really?" "No - er, yes!" "Which one? No or yes?" "YES!!!" I can't believe this woman, Q thought. Who is she? "Who are you?" "Mrs. Q." "Oh, God i don't believe it..." Q was almost laughing. What a stupid woman. "Darling!" "Darling?!" Mrs. Q said, sounding shocked. "Yes, it's your husband, you...hahaha!" "Um, no, my husband is at home. I'm afraid you're confused with someone else. Goodbye." She hung up. Q slapped himself on the head - how can he make such an idiotic mistake? Q was having a very, very, very bad day today... Q re-entered the classroom. The children looked at him. "eer...hold on!" Mr. Q ran back out - now he's forgotten to swicth the phone off and steal more text books. But before he can turn it off it rang again. "Yes? Who. The. Heck. Is. It?" Q said, angrilly. "Who is this?" "I'M MR. Q, NOW WHO THE H*LL ARE YOU?" "eerm...your wife." "Oh my Q!" He's really done it now - he threw the telephone across the room and it shattered into a googleplex of pieces. Q was sweating all over. From now on he'll never go near a telephone again. He ran don the corridor and into another teacher's classroom. Without hinking he jumped onto all the tables and kicked the textbooks out of their hands into the door. He got off the tables, kicked the books out of the classroom and let them fly all the way down the corridor - but Q didn't see Mrs. Q, another teacher, walking down it. All the books smashed into her face at once. "What do you think you're doing, Q?!" she cried. Q couldn't stop now. So he ran down and kicked the textbooks down the corridor with Mrs. Q underneath them. Then he did his biggest kick - he sent them flying through the window. And Mrs. Q too. "aaargh! What do you think you're -?" Q stopped. "Oh, no, not good..." to be concluded...again...it'll be longer than i thought it would...

21st August 2006, 06:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
AaronAgassi Registered User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 30	Re: A-E-\|-0-Q Yours, King Donut, is an entertaining opening scene, but still in search of a story. Perhaps I'll steal it! Or might we collaborate? I have a use in mind for your most amusing vignette: In the 'Star Trek: The Ship of Fools' ( http://www.FoolQuest.com/enter.htm ) incomplete story 'The Future of an Illusion' at http://www.FoolQuest.com/star_trek_t...n_illusion.htm , in a subplot, one character becomes fixated of the notion that another of the characters is actually none other than 'Q' in disguise! Perhaps, with a minor change at the very end, 'A-E-\|-0-Q.' appropriately surreal, might serve as an ambiguous dream sequence for her, saving to foreshadow: 'Q,' in fevered agitation, dashes into the rest room to splash cold water on his face, and in the mirror beholds another visage than his own... Then she awakens with a start!

13th July 2002, 08:37 PM	#2 (permalink)
ray gower Registered User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Gwynedd Posts: 3,579	This could be quite good. With some description the humour of the situation would show. At present it looks like a monologue.

15th July 2002, 12:03 AM	#3 (permalink)
EmilyH MN Sci-fi Fan Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Eagan, MN, USA Posts: 548	Interesting idea, but I'd like to know why Q bothers to answer Picard's call in the first place if he is busy teaching. Also you need to put a space between paragraphs. I know some stories get the spacing screwed up when you paste them into forums like this. It usually works much better for me if I convert them to plain text format or HTML. Also, how did Q start teaching in the first place? What led up to it and his decision? Or was it punishment from the Continuum for something? You should put that in the story, it'll make it more clear for the reader. This is a really interesting idea though. Keep going, you're doing fine. Just needs a few more details, some background info, and a quick run through the grammar/spell checker.