Han Solo's Night Out

[King Donut]

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters Han Solo, Leia Organa-Solo or Chewie. Duh.
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Han and Chewbacca went to one of their favourite places in the galaxy, "The Drunken Blunken" for a couple of hours till Leia gets back home and hopefully not notice they're drunk.
When they entered they saw the owner, Lazzie, come up to them and cry, "Han! What can I get you?"
"Two poptails." Han answered.
"Not the Big One?" Lazzie asked.
"Nope. I don't want to get too drunk. Two poptails."
There was a pause. Lazzie said, "Fine! Fine! Hey, Chewbacca, your new girlfriend is here?"
Han and Chewbacca turn round to see Pewcacka, Chewie's new girlfriend, a woman from the planet "Chinapan".
"Yes, I decided to come and get drunk with Chewie." she said.
"what would you like?" Lazzie asked her.
"A packet of gummie bears covered with soft alchol inside a large gentleman's hat please!" she said.
"Eeh...hold on a sec." Lazzie told her, and went looking through some boxes in the back of the pub.
"'Ere ya go!" Lazzie said, giving her a bowler hat ith a strange, brown, bubbling liquid and a packet of gummi bears inside floating about inside it.
"Thank you, Strange One." Pewcacka replied, and guzzled it down her Chinapanian throat.
A few hours later, Chewie and Pewie both went back to their new home on Dagobah in the long-time dead Master Yoda's hut.
han stayed at "The Drunken Blunken" longer and had already drunk fifty-five thousand poptails and a small bottle of Whyne.
"Still want to try The Big One?" Lazzie asked.
"Suuuuuuuuuuure!" han said, "Whyyy nut?"


Later a huge monster with green eyes, green teeth and purple skin appeared out of nowhere and looked at Han and said, "What?"
Han took out his blaster and tried to shoot the monster but it got out a bigger, longer blaster and tried to shoot back.
Soon it was a bar room brawl and han still hadn't realised that he was too drunk to realise that the huge monster with green eyes, green teeth and purple skin was actually a fat, drunk man from the planet Coruscant.
Han was about to fire his blaster again but threw up all over the bar room's floor and ran into the wall instead of the door to the toilets, which was just a couple centimetres away from it. "What do you think you're doing you idiot?" the fat man cried.
Coincidently, this man was actually a killer.
He was Dyfos-Cyeo, a psychopatch being chased by the space police of Coruscant were chasing before they lost him in an astroid field he went though in order to get to "The Drunken Blunken" to have a nice drink that wasn't liquid from his own body for a change.
They finally made it to "The Drunken blunken" and explained everything after killing him on the spot.
Han became a hero. Sort of.
"Mr. Solo, did you know that -"
"Yeah!" Han replied, still drunk. "He was tryin' ta kill us all! I was tryin' to save eve'yone!"
"How did you know he was try -"
"I know! I'm hero! Which great. Super! I hero..."
"Um, what are you trying to say? You're a superhero?"
"Wha'? I Han Solo!
"The Han Solo?"
"Er...how many are there?"
"Well, I better get back to my dri -" Han started but burped just before he can finish the sentence.
He ran to the toilet door, knocked it down, ran in, bumped into a mirror on the wall and threw up.

Later Han had a conversation with Lazzie after he stopped being sick.
LAZZIE: How are ya, Han?
HAN: I sick...
LAZZIE: What? You're sick?
HAN: Whurghaurah...
LAZZIE: What?
HAN: Bargh! Bou...
LAZZIE: Pardon? What did you say?
HAN: Jeee...
LAZZIE: You need a pee?
HAN: Ooooooooooooooooow yeah!
LAZZIE: "Ow yeah"? "How ya"? "How are ya"? Oh, fine. You?
HAN: Huh? Flood...
LAZZIE; Flood? Blood? Ah, "Good"! You're feeling good? What time do you get back home?
HAN: Water...Floo...d...
LAZZIE: Quarter to what? Duh? What's that? Hold on, I'll get a pen...

What Lazzie fails to realise is that Han is trying to tell him that there's a flood in the bathroom...

To be continued!