Do You Write Poetry?

[Frank menser]

Something along a similar vein as precautionary bits go...A classic Witch.


BABBA YAGGA

“Five and a fig,
Is a merry, merry fig.
Five and a fig,
Goes merry, merry down.
Five enter in,
And go for the fig.
Five go on in,
The sixth one will drown.”

Old Babba Yagga
Called to the children,
“Come little darlings,
Quick like a mouse!”
Six came in,
To play by her fire.
Six came in,
But none left her house.

Old Babba Yagga
Sang as she cooked them
Sang as she nibbled
On their tiny little feet.
One is a fig,
That is lost to his father.
Another is a flower
That tastes really sweet.

Old Babba Yagga
Squinted as she cooked
And rocked her old house,
With it’s strange chicken legs.
“Five little figs
I rolled in the flower.
One little fig,
I boiled with the eggs.”

~Frank

[daisybee]

Leisha-thank you!

Dustinzgirl- thank you!

Ben- Thanks hun!

Frank- yeah, I don't seem to have a style.
Oh and I love that poem, Witch.

[daisybee]

Lately


Lately I've been wondering,
about you.
No huge event or tragedy
Has triggered my curiosity,
Just...
Do you think of me on my birthday?
Or remember a few days later
And sigh.
Do you dream that you are a grandad
And will one day receive a tin of biscuits and a jumper
From your grand children?
You won't, as I am not a mother yet,
But you don't know that do you..
Would you be disappointed
That I didn't go to college
After all I had your intelligence
Or so you like to imagine.
Do you ever pass a wedding
And for a moment lose your breath
Because you never gave me away at mine?
You shouldn't, I'm not married
I am as yet unclaimed.
I still wear the name of the man
Whom was everything you couldn't
Wouldn't or weren't allowed to be..
For a while.
Do you ever regret the moment
You stole a six year old's faith
In the only father she ever knew?
or do you smile with satisfaction
That you took back what was yours
and forget
That you threw her back
Into a half life, of careful words
And untold shame.
Do you fall silent, in smoke filled rooms
As other men's eyes shine with drunken pride
In their children
And wish you knew me?
Do you ever wonder daddy,
What it is like to be a dad?

I'm sorry for posting such a self indulgent piece, but I have and it's here and that's that. Sometimes you just have to share the words that fall out. Right?

[HardScienceFan]

DAISYBEE<SO GLA
I MEAN,
HEY NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN,and what a ***k*** marvellous piece of poetry,too
Ben jealous of a true artist

[Leisha]

Oh, that's very sad, Daisybee. You certainly have a gift for poetry. The last three poems of yours have stood out at me, and I love that they all speak from the heart.

Wonderful, that's all I can say.

[Leisha]

Here's something I just wrote. It's the first time I've tried to express my feelings through poetry.


Faded Hopes

Once my house looked tall and proud
With a glorious lakeland view
Now my house lies empty and bereft
Just a remnant of what I knew

Once my house bathed in the richest sunlight
Its windows shone with gold
Now my house lies empty and robbed
Just a place that's aged and cold

Once my house echoed with laughter and song
People would smile and talk
Now my house sits alone from the world
Just a shadow past which you walk

Once my house lay on a flowery hillside
With a garden that few could pass
Now my house stands on a darkened wasteland
Just a ruin of bricks and glass

Once my house was full and whole
It was a fort that withstood all
Now my castle lies broken and crumbled
A black reminder of its fall.




I know no one will understand this verse, but sometimes you just have to write, don't you? Apologies in advance; it's not the liveliest of poems.


Yesterday

Yesterday the world looked bright
The sun shone down on me
Yesterday I loved, I think
Today it's hard to see

Yesterday I forgot my life
I lived without the pain
Yesterday I smiled, I laughed
Today it's gone again

Yesterday all life looked beautiful
I saw the sun and the clouds and the sky
Yesterday is gone, I fear
For today I know yesterday was a lie

[dustinzgirl]

Originally Posted by Leisha

Here's something I just wrote. It's the first time I've tried to express my feelings through poetry.

Yesterday

Yesterday the world looked bright
The sun shone down on me
Yesterday I loved, I think
Today it's hard to see

Yesterday I forgot my life
I lived without the pain
Yesterday I smiled, I laughed
Today it's gone again

Yesterday all life looked beautiful
I saw the sun and the clouds and the sky
Yesterday is gone, I fear
For today I know yesterday was a lie

The first one I didn't care for too much, but this one is darn near perfect. And don't we all feel like that once in life? It speaks of universal disappointment that tomarrow isn't quite what it is supposed to be and yesterday may have been better, but that's just a memory anyways. I like it.

[mirinda]

Trapped in the Night

This violent upheaval it starts to grow hiding a sickness she can not show, it’s eating and gnawing causing thrashing and pain. Will she see the light again? Monstrous, cancerous this demon inside, biting off pieces and growing alive! It’s black as death yet invisible to the eye. Choking her killing her, from this she can not hide, this poisonous death they pump inside is supposedly saving her life, but the violent upheaval again starts to arise. It spews forth, blood runs thick, strength grows less, and she grows thin. Gaunt and this she tries to deny there’s anything wrong, but she can not hide the pain. I see the tears she weeps, great fear I sense, I will protect thee. At last we see change, her figure returns, no longer a shadow that thrashes and burns. We’ve beaten you monster back down and die! You can not kill the life inside. An angel was sent down for you and she told me to say “God loves you child, welcome back to the day.”

Tear
She stands smiling a mask, hiding tears you never see, anger you will never fear, fear she’ll never show. Her jaw clenched tight, hiding that inner turmoil, that bubbling rage, that incessant nagging in her mind. What is she? Who is she? So many questions never answered. Fists clenched leave those familiar half moon indentions in her palms, she screams inside, it crawls up inside. The burning hot sensations stuck in her throat, chest aching, eyes burning, she’ll never let it escape her concrete walls. The light only reveals what she desperately tries to hide, losing the strength to contain this utter evil inside; she falls to her knees weakness revealed. She lets out a sigh, a gasp, a need for air, sticky humid she sucks it in praying that she never taste the salty flavor of her weaknesses. This secret she must hide from the world devours her. The lump grows, body shaking, she lets out the scream she can no longer hold in. Birds fly off, the screaming intensifies, and there it is making its’ way to the surface, the one thing she has tried to hide. She chokes on it, the essence of her pain. Out it leaks and down it rolls. A cold chill consumes her in this muggy heat. Memories fly back with disgusting clarity. Why today? Breathing is harder as it rolls down her cheek; it burned its way down an unforgiving mindless thing. Tilting her head up to the sky, the warm sun dries the splotches, erasing any remnant of the betraying tear. Tattered, broken and bruised aching within ripped in half, She stands once again becoming human and having nothing to hide; she wipes her face and breathes deeply. The crises is over it’s time to move on, now there is relief. She locks it away where it can’t be seen. She turns to the left and looks to the right walking away into the bright sunlight.

those are two i wrote recently i'd appreciate any comments you come up with, as long as they aren't grammer related (i know i need work in that area )

[Frank menser]

Nice writing on both. Dramatic...flows nicely. But to be honest, I see them more as prose rather than poetry. I can easly see both passages buried in potentially interesting stories.

~Frank

[mirinda]

i can see how you get that i was trying to break my singsongy poem thing i do. maybe it will inspire someone perhaps even myself to write a story from it. sorry if im bombarding i have a new one too.

Friend

You hide behind a mask to disguise the truth. Oh, but honey I see through. See through to the bruises, the tears, the black eyes. See through, completely untelling your lies. Strong shell inside, human flesh out, your core is as soft as your heart itself. Your heart beats keeping you alive, the tears well up on the inside. You show no emotion, you no longer feel pain, will you let yourself feel anything again? A beautiful person inside and out move past those bruises, those you can live without. “It’s not easy.” I hear you say. “There’s no flipping a switch.” Believe me I know it doesn’t work that way. Don’t let yourself be lost and trapped in the past. It’s no place to live, it’s like a full body cast. Don’t let yourself be handicapped by your fears, hiding from the nightmares the bruises the tears. You leave on lights for terrors hide in the dark, come trust in me we can work through this part. You are capable, cunning and beautiful as sin, we can work through this we will win. Shed the skin of the past start fresh and anew. At the end of this road a new life awaits you. Better than time, love heals wounds and I want you to know friend I love you.

im not expecting to be professional here i just do it to express myself (writing things i mean) and sometimes i like to no what people who are not sucking up beacuse they are related think of my "work".

[Rawled Demha]

hey peeps, i was hoping for a bit of constructive criticism on my poem here (!) could i get a few hints on the choice of words - i think it lacks in impact cos i was unable to find the words i wanted, and instead had to choose words that fit.....

------------------------------------

The Truth

I think I'm going crazy,
For I do not know the truth.

I think I'm going crazy,
For I do not know the truth.
What is the truth,
That it might be seen?
Or can it not be seen at all?

Truth is everything.
One cannot see the truth,
For one cannot see everything;
Some sight will never reach the eye.

I think I'm going crazy,
For I do not know the truth.
What is the truth,
That it might be heard?
Or can it not be heard at all?

Truth is everything.
One cannot hear the truth,
For one cannot hear everything;
Some sound will never reach the ear.

I think I'm going crazy,
For I do not know the truth.
What is the truth,
That it might be known?
Or can it not be known at all?

Truth is everything.
One cannot know the truth,
For one cannot know everything;
Some knowledge will never be comprehensible.

I think I'm going crazy,
For I do not know the truth.
What is the truth,
That it can not be known?

I think I'm going crazy,
For I do not know the truth.

-------------------------------------------

As i said, its more the choice of words id like help on. im not toooo fussed about the form but more the delivery. the irregular stanza length, the crazy rhythmic meter they're irrelevant. i think the point is lost or weakend by bits like "Some knowledge will never be comprehensible" comprehensible??? what was i thinking? but then, what else can i say???

[Joel007]

If you want to find a more appropriate word for any of your meanings, you could try Thesaurus.com to give you some ideas.

[scalem X]

"Some knowledge will never be comprehensible" comprehensible??? what was i thinking? but then, what else can i say???

it depends, your style suggests something blunt like:
-some knowledge will remain unknown
-some knowledge will never be grasped

It's hard to give directions for poetry really personally I'd go for deeper stuff that doesn't really fit in here like:
-Some knowledge never known (get it? kn-n-kn )
-Some knowledge is beyond
Well you get the point, these don't fit in in the rest of the poem because of style differences and such...

[HardScienceFan]

I only rhyme
when I find the time
the poetry is hackneyed
leaves the reader slack-kneed
and so is essentially a crime

[scalem X]

how can you possible come up to rhyme hackneyed and slack-neyed, lol ah priceless .