How to Decifer 'Girl-Speak'. - Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums

Dave · 21st March 2002, 10:59 AM

Fine: This is the word they use at the end of any argument that they feel they are right about but need to shut you up. Never use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five Minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you do whatever it is she wants you to do.

Nothing: This means something. Be on your toes. Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling she has of wanting to rip your face off. Nothing usually signifies an argument that will last five minutes and end with the word fine.

Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows): Translation: "I dare you." This will result in her getting mad over nothing and will end with the word fine.

Go Ahead (Normal Eyebrows): Translation: "I give up" or "Do what you want, I don't care." You will get a go ahead with raised eyebrows in just a few minutes, followed by nothing and fine. She will talk to you in about five minutes when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but it is still a verbal statement misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are a moron at the moment and wonders why she's wasting her time arguing with you over nothing.

Soft Sigh: (Again, not a word, but you know...) She is content. Your best bet is not to talk or move or breathe and she will stay content.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is big trouble. Example: "Oh, well, I just talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says Oh before any statement, run -- do not walk -- to the nearest exit.

It Doesn't Matter: This means you have committed a Cardinal Sin. If you can't sort it out quickly, you'd best stay out of her way for a long time. Much longer than five minutes.

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can say to a man. That's okay means that she wants to think long and hard before repaying you for whatever it is that you did wrong. You do not want to be there when that happens.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it's an offer. She's giving you the opportunity to come up with whatever lame-ass excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is you've done. You have a fair change to tell the truth here. Be very careful and you shouldn't get a "that's okay."

I'll Do It: Translation: Why didn't you do it? Best to pretend she didn't speak at all, otherwise you'll get a Please Do and will have to think up some excuse on the spot. This lame excuse will then be followed by a That's Okay or a It Doesn't Matter.

I Told you. . . : Translation: I expected you to read my mind Trust me! You will never win this one, don't bother trying to make up any excuses.

Thanks: She's thanking you. Don't feel faint, just say, "You're welcome."

Thanks a Lot: This longer phrase is not to be confused with thanks. She'll say "thanks a lot" when she's actually seriously peeved at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way and will generally be followed by the loud sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the loud sigh, or she will say nothing and raise her eyebrows.

I'm Just Going Out: If she has already said Nothing or It Doesn't Matter earlier then it's time to get worried, otherwise just enjoy the peace while it lasts.

Chilly · 21st March 2002, 02:03 PM

heheheh
i use most of that stuff........lol

oh this is funny dave! lol

:blush:

nic · 21st March 2002, 02:11 PM

Yeah, I use "fine" quite a bit.

Hmm, after looking over that list I guess you guys are getting better at understanding women ... or at least certain signs!

Lonewolf89 · 21st March 2002, 02:46 PM

ROTFLMAO!! And Dave does it again!

sweetbabe · 21st March 2002, 03:32 PM

wow a guy who knows wot hes talkin about

Chilly · 21st March 2002, 04:06 PM

i no!
its shocking! lol

Legolas · 21st March 2002, 04:22 PM

no-one understands me...*sniff*...well, one guy does

very funny Dave:lol:
:flash:

sweetbabe · 21st March 2002, 04:24 PM

u gonna tell us ur secret then dave, so we can share it with the rest of the male population?? lol :alienooh:

Chilly · 21st March 2002, 04:25 PM

i wana know too!
come on daaaaave! lol
(he has experience!!! lol)

Legolas · 21st March 2002, 04:40 PM

ya Dave tell us how you deciphered 'our' secret warning words!
:flash:

msr709 · 21st March 2002, 04:54 PM

Dave, those were hilarious and so, so true. Finally, a guy that understands. . . Your girl is very lucky to have someone that finally understands us!!! You should give seminars around the world !!LOL!:lol: :laugh2: :lol: :laugh2: :lol: :laugh2:

Dave · 21st March 2002, 10:23 PM

Please don't give me full credit for those. I did plagiarise most of them, I'm afraid. But I did embellish it, and add a few of my own though!

When I first read it, I thought it was so true, I could relate to it having experience at the 'sharp end', and I just had to post it here.

I've seen a few of those 'guy' sayings threads here, I thought that it was the 'guys' chance to get revenge. I didn't expect you all to agree with it

I was actually expecting crockery to be thrown at me instead!

sweetbabe · 21st March 2002, 10:38 PM

surprised ya there then dint we :P

Chilly · 21st March 2002, 10:38 PM

;lol
well we HAD to agree....lol

DarkCity545 · 21st March 2002, 11:47 PM

used a few of those myself dave

since guys did not get i stopped and came out with both barrels blazing---so there was no mis-understanding:evil:

21st March 2002, 10:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
Dave Wherever I Am, I'm There Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Greater London Posts: 13,791 Blog Entries: 1	How to Decifer 'Girl-Speak'. Fine: This is the word they use at the end of any argument that they feel they are right about but need to shut you up. Never use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments. Five Minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you do whatever it is she wants you to do. Nothing: This means something. Be on your toes. Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling she has of wanting to rip your face off. Nothing usually signifies an argument that will last five minutes and end with the word fine. Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows): Translation: "I dare you." This will result in her getting mad over nothing and will end with the word fine. Go Ahead (Normal Eyebrows): Translation: "I give up" or "Do what you want, I don't care." You will get a go ahead with raised eyebrows in just a few minutes, followed by nothing and fine. She will talk to you in about five minutes when she cools off. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but it is still a verbal statement misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are a moron at the moment and wonders why she's wasting her time arguing with you over nothing. Soft Sigh: (Again, not a word, but you know...) She is content. Your best bet is not to talk or move or breathe and she will stay content. Oh: This word followed by any statement is big trouble. Example: "Oh, well, I just talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says Oh before any statement, run -- do not walk -- to the nearest exit. It Doesn't Matter: This means you have committed a Cardinal Sin. If you can't sort it out quickly, you'd best stay out of her way for a long time. Much longer than five minutes. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can say to a man. That's okay means that she wants to think long and hard before repaying you for whatever it is that you did wrong. You do not want to be there when that happens. Please Do: This is not a statement, it's an offer. She's giving you the opportunity to come up with whatever lame-ass excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is you've done. You have a fair change to tell the truth here. Be very careful and you shouldn't get a "that's okay." I'll Do It: Translation: Why didn't you do it? Best to pretend she didn't speak at all, otherwise you'll get a Please Do and will have to think up some excuse on the spot. This lame excuse will then be followed by a That's Okay or a It Doesn't Matter. I Told you. . . : Translation: I expected you to read my mind Trust me! You will never win this one, don't bother trying to make up any excuses. Thanks: She's thanking you. Don't feel faint, just say, "You're welcome." Thanks a Lot: This longer phrase is not to be confused with thanks. She'll say "thanks a lot" when she's actually seriously peeved at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way and will generally be followed by the loud sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the loud sigh, or she will say nothing and raise her eyebrows. I'm Just Going Out: If she has already said Nothing or It Doesn't Matter earlier then it's time to get worried, otherwise just enjoy the peace while it lasts.

21st March 2002, 02:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
Chilly Registered User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: UK: ENGLAND: Posts: 4,113	klol heheheh i use most of that stuff........lol oh this is funny dave! lol :blush:

21st March 2002, 04:06 PM	#6 (permalink)
Chilly Registered User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: UK: ENGLAND: Posts: 4,113	lol i no! its shocking! lol

21st March 2002, 04:25 PM	#9 (permalink)
Chilly Registered User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: UK: ENGLAND: Posts: 4,113	lol i wana know too! come on daaaaave! lol (he has experience!!! lol)

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21st March 2002, 02:11 PM	#3 (permalink)
nic Stomping Turnips Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Just outside Newcastle, England Posts: 2,579	Yeah, I use "fine" quite a bit. Hmm, after looking over that list I guess you guys are getting better at understanding women ... or at least certain signs!

21st March 2002, 02:46 PM	#4 (permalink)
Lonewolf89 Fear is the mind killer. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Flatplanet Cafe Posts: 1,605	ROTFLMAO!! And Dave does it again!

21st March 2002, 03:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
sweetbabe Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Lancashire Posts: 228	wow a guy who knows wot hes talkin about

21st March 2002, 04:22 PM	#7 (permalink)
Legolas something more magical Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: In a giant Oak tree in a forest not too far away... Posts: 3,895	no-one understands me...sniff...well, one guy does very funny Dave:lol: :flash:

21st March 2002, 04:24 PM	#8 (permalink)
sweetbabe Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Lancashire Posts: 228	u gonna tell us ur secret then dave, so we can share it with the rest of the male population?? lol :alienooh:

21st March 2002, 04:40 PM	#10 (permalink)
Legolas something more magical Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: In a giant Oak tree in a forest not too far away... Posts: 3,895	ya Dave tell us how you deciphered 'our' secret warning words! :flash:

21st March 2002, 04:54 PM	#11 (permalink)
msr709 Picard's Woman Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Effort, PA Posts: 170	Dave, those were hilarious and so, so true. Finally, a guy that understands. . . Your girl is very lucky to have someone that finally understands us!!! You should give seminars around the world !!LOL!:lol: :laugh2: :lol: :laugh2: :lol: :laugh2:

21st March 2002, 10:23 PM	#12 (permalink)
Dave Wherever I Am, I'm There Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Greater London Posts: 13,791 Blog Entries: 1	Please don't give me full credit for those. I did plagiarise most of them, I'm afraid. But I did embellish it, and add a few of my own though! When I first read it, I thought it was so true, I could relate to it having experience at the 'sharp end', and I just had to post it here. I've seen a few of those 'guy' sayings threads here, I thought that it was the 'guys' chance to get revenge. I didn't expect you all to agree with it I was actually expecting crockery to be thrown at me instead!

21st March 2002, 10:38 PM	#13 (permalink)
sweetbabe Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Lancashire Posts: 228	surprised ya there then dint we :P

21st March 2002, 10:38 PM	#14 (permalink)
Chilly Registered User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: UK: ENGLAND: Posts: 4,113	;lol well we HAD to agree....lol

21st March 2002, 11:47 PM	#15 (permalink)
DarkCity545 The Truth Is Out There Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Virginia Posts: 1,199	used a few of those myself dave since guys did not get i stopped and came out with both barrels blazing---so there was no mis-understanding:evil: