Things you'll never hear Yoda say... - Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums

Dave · 13th March 2002, 10:10 PM

I've seen loads of these, very funny. Mostly too crude and rude to post here though! Anyway, I know we could come up with some equally as funny. Who wants to try?

Dave · 15th March 2002, 10:31 AM

Luke, don't ask what the Force can do for you.. But what you can do for the Force.

All that Obi-Wan taught you? Forget it!

When 900 years old you reach, get as many chicks you will not!

From a 900 year old? English perfect not!

I cannot teach him. Land an X-wing, he cannot even!

No...there is another. Let's hope as stupid, she is not!

Luke, forget training today.. I think we ought to have a talk. Nobody's taught you the facts of life yet and you're nearly...

Anger, fear, merchandising...the Dark Side are they!

Lonewolf89 · 15th March 2002, 05:03 PM

ROTFL, these are great, Dave! I'll try to come up with some.

Prophet4Profit · 15th March 2002, 10:21 PM

Considering the PG nature of the prequals, I can think of many things that yoda would never say...

neXus_6 · 17th March 2002, 08:25 AM

I was just about to edit the post!!!

neXus_6 · 17th March 2002, 08:27 AM

Okay, here's a little bit more of a cleaner one:

Top 12 Things Uttered by Yoda While Making Love (CLEAN).

"Ahhh! Yoda's little friend seek you!"

"Excuse me while I put a shield on my saber, Sweetheart."

"Now you know why they put one of me in every Happy Meal, do you."

"Cuddling, afterplay -- a Jedi craves not these things."

"Down here, I am. Find a ladder, must I!"

"Do me or do me not -- there is no try."

"Early must I rise. Leave now must you!"

"You know, this would be a lot more fun without Frank Oz's hand up my ass."

"Happens to every guy sometimes this does."

"When 900 years old you get, Viagra you need too, hmmmmm?"

"Who's your Jedi master? WHO'S your Jedi Master?"

"Ow, ow, OW! On my ear you are!"

Cpt Larraq · 19th April 2002, 07:44 AM

"Who the man? Yo da man, I is! Hah! Get it?"
"Amidala, choose me! Forget Anakin, you will!"
"Palpatine is a friend, rely on him, I will!"
"Frank Oz, my master, he is!"
"Fear is the path to the light side..."

Technomage · 1st May 2002, 09:49 AM

A burger without fries, a meal is not!

To find love, you must love to find!

Jar-Jar Binks, my idea, he was not!

Diamond9697 · 1st May 2002, 06:50 PM

*snickers*

Skip · 25th June 2002, 09:22 PM

Around the Survivors, a little-watched, over-hyped gameshow, create!

Diamond9697 · 26th June 2002, 05:38 AM

I cannot teach him. IQ of 30 has he. Hangs upside down in ice caves.

Duct Tape...the Force it is like. Both a light side and a dark side it has. Binds the universe together it does!

Skip · 26th June 2002, 07:51 PM

Although Jedi Master you be, too big for bending over knee and spanking you are not, Qui-Gon!

:evil: :blush:

HeyLynny · 2nd July 2002, 04:09 AM

Diamond, That Duct tape line is hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tabitha · 6th July 2002, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Diamond9697

Duct Tape...the Force it is like. Both a light side and a dark side it has. Binds the universe together it does!

ROFLMAO!
Philosophical to boot

HeyLynny · 6th July 2002, 02:43 AM

Luke....Your sister she is, so kiss her no more.

Small I may be, but my light saber is bigger than yours!

13th March 2002, 10:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dave Wherever I Am, I'm There Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Greater London Posts: 11,595	Things you'll never hear Yoda say... I've seen loads of these, very funny. Mostly too crude and rude to post here though! Anyway, I know we could come up with some equally as funny. Who wants to try?

15th March 2002, 10:31 AM	#2 (permalink)
Dave Wherever I Am, I'm There Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Greater London Posts: 11,595	OK, I'll start off with some: Luke, don't ask what the Force can do for you.. But what you can do for the Force. All that Obi-Wan taught you? Forget it! When 900 years old you reach, get as many chicks you will not! From a 900 year old? English perfect not! I cannot teach him. Land an X-wing, he cannot even! No...there is another. Let's hope as stupid, she is not! Luke, forget training today.. I think we ought to have a talk. Nobody's taught you the facts of life yet and you're nearly... Anger, fear, merchandising...the Dark Side are they!

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15th March 2002, 05:03 PM	#3 (permalink)
Lonewolf89 Fear is the mind killer. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Flatplanet Cafe Posts: 1,609	ROTFL, these are great, Dave! I'll try to come up with some.

15th March 2002, 10:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
Prophet4Profit Cluster Admiral, SQUAD! Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Within the darkest corner of your soul. Posts: 125	Considering the PG nature of the prequals, I can think of many things that yoda would never say...

17th March 2002, 08:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
neXus_6 Sector Marshall Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: In your mind Posts: 61	I was just about to edit the post!!!

17th March 2002, 08:27 AM	#6 (permalink)
neXus_6 Sector Marshall Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: In your mind Posts: 61	Okay, here's a little bit more of a cleaner one: Top 12 Things Uttered by Yoda While Making Love (CLEAN). "Ahhh! Yoda's little friend seek you!" "Excuse me while I put a shield on my saber, Sweetheart." "Now you know why they put one of me in every Happy Meal, do you." "Cuddling, afterplay -- a Jedi craves not these things." "Down here, I am. Find a ladder, must I!" "Do me or do me not -- there is no try." "Early must I rise. Leave now must you!" "You know, this would be a lot more fun without Frank Oz's hand up my ass." "Happens to every guy sometimes this does." "When 900 years old you get, Viagra you need too, hmmmmm?" "Who's your Jedi master? WHO'S your Jedi Master?" "Ow, ow, OW! On my ear you are!"

19th April 2002, 07:44 AM	#7 (permalink)
Cpt Larraq PK Disruptor Commander Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 60	"Who the man? Yo da man, I is! Hah! Get it?" "Amidala, choose me! Forget Anakin, you will!" "Palpatine is a friend, rely on him, I will!" "Frank Oz, my master, he is!" "Fear is the path to the light side..."

1st May 2002, 09:49 AM	#8 (permalink)
Technomage Chocolate Connoisseur. Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 148	A burger without fries, a meal is not! To find love, you must love to find! Jar-Jar Binks, my idea, he was not!

1st May 2002, 06:50 PM	#9 (permalink)
Diamond9697 Lookin Good Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Washington State Posts: 1,872	snickers

25th June 2002, 09:22 PM	#10 (permalink)
Skip Odi et amo et- CRUCIO! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Manchester. UK. Or near as dammit. Posts: 4,670	Around the Survivors, a little-watched, over-hyped gameshow, create!

26th June 2002, 05:38 AM	#11 (permalink)
Diamond9697 Lookin Good Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Washington State Posts: 1,872	I cannot teach him. IQ of 30 has he. Hangs upside down in ice caves. Duct Tape...the Force it is like. Both a light side and a dark side it has. Binds the universe together it does!

26th June 2002, 07:51 PM	#12 (permalink)
Skip Odi et amo et- CRUCIO! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Manchester. UK. Or near as dammit. Posts: 4,670	Although Jedi Master you be, too big for bending over knee and spanking you are not, Qui-Gon! :evil: :blush:

2nd July 2002, 04:09 AM	#13 (permalink)
HeyLynny Explorer Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: New York Posts: 621	Diamond, That Duct tape line is hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6th July 2002, 02:43 AM	#15 (permalink)
HeyLynny Explorer Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: New York Posts: 621	Luke....Your sister she is, so kiss her no more. Small I may be, but my light saber is bigger than yours!