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| Stargate Fan Fiction What would we do without fan fiction? It\'s a way for those so inclined to add a little something of their own, answer a question that has been nagging at them that wasn\'t addressed in one of the episodes, or offer another glimpse into the people and |
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28th July 2001, 09:59 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Odi et amo et- CRUCIO!  Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 4,672
|  Panto Fic: The Final Curtain Call Aye you heard right. Panto Fic. As in the days of yore. This is written with the understanding that you WILL NOT ask NOR recieve any more Pantos unless I CHOOSE without pressurisation, DO I MAKE MYSELF DAMN CLEAR ASMILEY?!?!?!?!?!?!? Title: The Final Curtain Call Author: Skip DEDICATION: To all you damn fools. The Ascif Mob and a few others. To make you all happy I'll list you (some ego pandering never goes amiss) Annette: Temporarily misplaced but sorely missed. One who keeps me insane during long, hard days and nights. Asmiley: For being a whinging whining annoying- AHEM. For her Warm Fuzzies. Bee: For her Looney Fics. Dave: For sprouts. Gemsong: For her damn finger pointing and that lovely present.... jsc: For repeatedly whumping me when I was too busy to fic. Mishkaz: For laughing, really. And making me laugh. And making me sing. And for reasons one wishes not to divulge  And for being too high and mighty to be bothered.MsGudBod: For brill fics  Peachy: For her great Mob fics and making me sing Bohemian Rhapsody till I got a sore throat. Sandman: For knowing whatI mean when I say 'By the Eye of Thundara!' Starling: For rescuing me earlier... For anyone I forgot: Oops... THE INTRO: Asmiley: I want a panto fic. Skip: I’m not going to write any more. Asmiley: But I want a panto fic! Skip: No! Asmiley: But *I* want… Skip: NO! Asmiley: Why not? Skip: Because… Bee (helpfully): You’ve finished Woods now. Skip: Yes well thank you very much I know that…. Gemsong: And I just wrote you a really nice present… Skip: And I’m eternally grateful. Asmiley: And I just- Skip: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!!!!!! Will I ever get to sleep? Annette: No. Skip: It was a rhetorical question, but nevermind. Daniel: Ohh rhetoric! Jack: Daniel! Shh! Daniel: What? Jack: You’ve gone and done it now…. Asmiley: Why are you hiding your SG-1 back there? Peachy: Was that Daniel? Gemsong: I KNEW I heard Jack…. Bee: Skip, look they’re here… you’re temporarily lucid… KatD: Or as lucid as you get…. Skip: I resent that! Jsc: Skip, have you been skipping sleep again? Skip: Er… would you believe me if I said no? Jsc: SKIP! Skip: WHAT?!?!?! Oh fer crying out loud! Right go on sit down and keep the Hounds back. Asmiley: That’s it? Gemsong: She just gave in? Annette: She must be tireder than she let on….. Skip: Setle down I have to go persuade them. Jsc: Want my ‘persuader?’ Skip: No thanks… I think I’ll do this the old fashioned way. The way I did before the days of the Mob. Mishkaz: Oo errr missus. Skip: Moddum, would one care to place one’s derriere in the seating so laid out for your approval? Mishkaz: One would delight to partake in such activities. Starling: What!?!?! Daniel: She said siddown. Starling: Oh thanks. Skip: Daniel! Back behind the curtain! Now give me a few moments….. |
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28th July 2001, 10:11 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Odi et amo et- CRUCIO! Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 4,672
| Asmiley is doing my head in. She keep whining and puppy dogging.... I can feel her resentment whenever I see her name. Its putting me on a guilt trip. (and some of you know how neurotic I get about guilt...) plus its sunny outside so I have to hide.... and I ate loads.... and I'm not currently contemplating suicide..... and .. uh.. don't tell.... I wanted to see fi I still could....:crazy: |
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28th July 2001, 10:24 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Odi et amo et- CRUCIO! Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 4,672
|  can't you tell im writing as i go along LOL *Several hours later….* Gemsong: Why are we waiting… Bee: Do you think she did a runner? KatD: No she probably fell asleep. Asmiley: Or got distracted. *Skip walks on with a coffee mug in hand. The fact that she never drank if before starting to write is a worrying fact…* Skip: Er, guys? I’m…. having problems. Asmiley: You can’t back out! Skip: But they just won’t agree! And I can’t make up a script! Strange Mysterious Voice: Never say never. There is no try. You must use the- Skip: GEMSONG! Put down that voice changer mike! Gemsong: What? Skip: Ohh…… GEEZ! Jsc: I still think the ‘Persuader’ would work better. Skip: Erm… Jack won’t talk to me right now. I think I… took it a bit too far… Annette: What? In the woods? Skip: Er.. no in my selling the idea for a fic to him. He’s gone off in a sulk. Peachy: What was the idea? Skip: Puss in Boots. Or Dick Whitington. Annette: That’s the ‘Cats’ isn’t it? Skip: Yeah. Look it was Amy’s fault I had to go see her show… Peachy: And your mind wandered? Skip: Yeah. Look give me half an hour and I’m sure I can talk him into it. That and cook for the lazy slovens at home. Asmiley: OK. See you in thirty minutes. Skip: And you can turn off the stopwatch! |
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ulls out a book of fairytales and considers options:|
28th July 2001, 11:11 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| God Like Member  Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 4,352
| (Eyes persuaders ~torture rod and bovine) "Skip... tell Jack I have Master Bra'Tac's present here and the hounds are awaiting treats... 'horse' hasn't had anyone to jump on and lap for a long time and Miz She has her ball... and wants ENDLESS rounds of toss the ball to Miz She while 'horse' jumps and laps!. Pick your torture carefully... But then Skip you could always kiss Jack!..Try that one on him Skip... the Kiss will get him Every time!" (Chuckles evilly... and eagerly awaits next part) Ladies please... you know something is forthcoming as Skip HAS to write or burst! ... she might need alittle persuading... Gemmie got any chocolate cake.?... Asmiley... where did you leave that Chocolate Stash of yours...? Kat..write some more on your story! Annette, have you packed a lap top to keep in touch with Skip and keep her minimally insane? Peachy, Darn... where did you put....the HAGIS, I'm hungry, Mishkaz, stop figiting.. here is a pen (digs deep into the black hole aka purse and pulls out pens and paper) play hangman! BEE! STOP PEEKING SO OBVIOUSLY! (Note to self.... can I stand a week of No Skip Fics?" eyes persuaders.... hummmmm.) |
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28th July 2001, 11:20 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Odi et amo et- CRUCIO! Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 4,672
| If Skip wanted to retire permanenetly jsc would just have to do with no fic wouldn't she? Choc sounds good I've finished what little I had... and people keep IMing me... you see I can't talk and fic at the same time.... Well not WELL.... |
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28th July 2001, 12:11 PM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Odi et amo et- CRUCIO! Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 4,672
| *Several hours later and the Mob is watching Stargate re-runs. There is a lot of noise. But not so much that they don’t hear the crashing backstage. Several cusswords emanate from the wobbling scenery.* Jack: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Skip: Jack… Jack: NO NADA NEVER NO WAY NO HOW IN THAT ORDER!!!! Skip: Calm down… Jack: THIS IS UNFAIR! Doesn’t the Geneva convention have something to say about this?!?!?!?! KatD: No. Jack: Stay out of this! Mr. Pointy: Did I miss anything? Peachy: No, not really. Mr. Pointy: Good, I just need to be fashionably late. Jack: You can’t make me! Skip: Shut up or I let Gemsong loose. And I hear she’s feeling inspired. *Jack whimpers and runs backstage. Skip steps to the front.* Skip: Right, welcome to the Land of Makebelieve. As you can see the stage is set- er… Kinda… So here we go! *The curtain rises to reveal… an empty stage. From the sides a yukka plant is pushed on. Daniel strolls on wearing… uh… Johdpurs. And a hat with three corners. And one of those little westcuts (wasitcoats.) Under that a tight white shirt with the tie things at the front. With him are Major Davies and Siler, in similar dress. General Hammond is pushed in lying in bed from the other end.* Hammond: Now, sons, I know I am not too well. Annette: NO!!!!!!!! Gemsong (who has her fairy tale book in her lap): SKIP! That’s mean! Skip: He’s not going to die! Just… sneeze a bit. He has a cold. Janet: Yes and I’m quarantining his ‘sons.’ Annette: Thank god! Jsc: Good. That was close. Hammond: As uh… ‘My wife’ said, you all have to leave and go into the big bad world. And I have gifts for all of you. To you, Major Davies, I give the Mountain. Davies: WOHOO! Skip: And the Major was happy. Hammond: To you, Siler, I give the computers. Siler: WAHEY! Skip: And Siler was happy. Hammond: And to you… er… whoever you are…you can have the Gate and the cat… Skip: And Daniel was quite sad that the General had forgotten his name. Daniel: THAT CRUMMY GATE AND A CAT!?!?!?!? Janet: Now now Daniel, be nice. Hammond: Ingrate. Daniel: You made me do all the work around here and give me some dumbass cat and a big metal ring?!?!?! Hammond: Don’t take that tone of voice with me young man! Daniel: You don’t even know my name! I’ve had it with you! Peachy: Poor Daniel! Asmiley: Poor Daniel! Bee: P- Skip: SHUT UP! And so Daniel went off to pack his bags and NO YOU CANNOT HELP HIM! |
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