MIS- Why Do Klingons Have Lumpy Heads? [Drabble/monologue] - Page 2 - Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums

ray gower · 20th August 2001, 04:07 PM

Emily, hope this is close enough?

A translation using Cockney slang.

"Ere Dad. Why's Kilingons got lumpy 'eads?" Jim asked, chirpy sparra.

His dad looked up from the paper and thought a tad. "Easy my Cocker! Stand to reason, dun' it. They ain't got no Wednesday in the week."

Little Jim looked at Dad 'orribly 'plexed, he Eved him not a jot.

"When Sam gets 'is lol, 'e spends a monkey darn the Elephant, 'n' the strife gives him rabbit 'n' clocks him 'im rand the nog. Klingons get arfured every day, cos theres no day wif art pay, his strife gives 'em daisy fresh. That's why Klingons 'ave lumpy 'eads."

Just don't pronounce like Dick Van Dyke

Gater · 27th August 2001, 10:49 AM

apologies if iys more than 100 words which it no doubt is- anyhow-
Why Do Klingons Have Lumpy Heads?

"Vy do zee Klingons ave lumpee heds mein Vater?" Leetle Jim said (he was a Trek fan-its a requirement at Evil College)

His Vater looked up from the bomb he was constructing. "Vell mein Sohn" he cackled " zat ist obvious, muhahahahahaha, it ist because zey hav no Vednesdays in zer veek"

Little Jim looked submissive yet confused so his Vater put down his Plutonium and explained further.

"Ven ve get our money from blackmailing ze world, ve go to ze pub to celebrate, zer we meet a Bond girl who vacks us over ze head. And since for ze Klingons, everyday is a blackmailing day, den ze Klingon Bondgirls hav a lot more opportunities to vack zem over ze head, thus causing a lot more bumps than on human supervillians heads and zat ist how they hav lumpee heads"

"Now mein Sohn go get me the Uranium i hav a cunning plan...................."

Its crap i know but hey! i don't mind!

ray gower · 27th August 2001, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Its crap i know but hey! i don't mind!

On the contrary. I think it is very good!

I think we also have our first triple drabble! Congratulations!

Gater · 27th August 2001, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ray gower

On the contrary. I think it is very good!

I think we also have our first triple drabble! Congratulations!

Why thank you very much(blows a kiss in your direction)

Maria8475 · 28th August 2001, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ray gower

On the contrary. I think it is very good!

totally agree

Gater · 29th August 2001, 08:50 AM

Thankyou thank you very much!:smilej:

ray gower · 24th April 2002, 11:13 PM

In thickest Devon.

"'Ow bis Klingons gart lumpy 'eads?" Jim asked.

"Ooh Arrgh! My Cocker!" His Da exclaimed, thinking hard. "That be simple that be. It be 'cos there be no Friday in tha week!"

Jim, he be all confused, so Da give ow'r and say, "When t'old Squire 'e pay young Sam, e's off like hare to yon' pub fur 'is scrump. An' when t'old vixen git him home, she give him gurt big lump on 'is dome."

"Klingons ain't gat day wit' out pay 'n' scrump, So t'old vixen, she got practise wit' gurt lumps. That be 'ow bis Klingons gart lumpy 'eads."

'Ow Bis?
Ray

Dave · 25th April 2002, 01:41 AM

But can Klingons say "Traarcter!" -- the vehicle with the big back wheels used on farms.

Highlander II · 25th April 2002, 02:16 AM

these are funny!

gimme a couple and I might be able to come up w/ 'southern' (as in 'redneck' USA) --

Highlander II · 25th April 2002, 02:38 AM

group effort here -- analise and I worked this one out - this one's more southern than redneck (and yes, there is a difference)

Southern US Version

"Why does them Kling'ns hev them bumps on ther heads, pa?" yungin Jim-Bob assed. (A StarTrek fan, so dern sad.)

His pa sterred up from da pepper. "Reason's obv'us, Jim-Bob!" he declerred. "It's cuz them's po' folk, 'n they don't get no money er'vry week."

Yungin Jim-Bob looked at his pa, confus'd, so Pa tried to 'splain.

"If'n our Sam-Bob gets ev'n a dime, he gets to thuh drink. Then thuh old lady knocks a knot on his 'ead fer gettin' drunker then a polecat. Klingons ain't got no payday, so's he kin get drunk er'vry day and gets a knot knocked in his dat blamed 'ead er'vry day."

Dave · 25th April 2002, 02:44 AM

That's great! This thread is really exceptional! There is some really good stuff at ASciFi that most people have never seen, but this thread is one of the best.

Any more?

ray gower · 25th April 2002, 08:03 AM

LOL

Now wrap a Universal Translator round that lot!

I love the Southern version.

Proves it's not just us English what can't speak proper!

As for more dialects. Think I'm fresh out of gooduns. 'Ampshir an Darset are more style and accent than dialect.

Highlander II · 25th April 2002, 04:36 PM

We were gonna do 'ebonics' - but I'm not fluent enough -

Maybe my sis can do it -- might be able to talk her into it - not!

There are others -- ummm - "Dude" - like surfer talk - re: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or 'Valley Girl' - a la "Clueless" - 'like' and 'as if' ---

if i come up w/ something -- i'll post it --

ray gower · 25th April 2002, 07:50 PM

Who on Earth is 'Ebonics'?

Gater · 25th April 2002, 08:02 PM

well according to this weird translator thingamijig it would go like this :

Why do Klingons gots lumpy heads, Dad? Little Jim said. (A Trek fan, horribly sad.)

Father looked up from da paper, glasses at da end o' his nose. That's obvious son, he declared horribly sure. It saves dem tyme an' cuz dey haven't got any Wednesday's in da week.

Little Jim looked at Dad horribly perplexed, so Dad relented an' explained just uh bit.

When Sam gets paid, he goes ta da pub, an' our Jill cracks him uh lump on his head. With nahh wednesday wiff out pay an' drink, Mrs Klingon gives him lots o' lumps. That's why Klingons gots lumpy heads. otay buh-weet

The site is Ebonics Translator

cheerio!

20th August 2001, 04:07 PM	#16 (permalink)
ray gower Registered User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Gwynedd Posts: 3,579	Emily, hope this is close enough? A translation using Cockney slang. "Ere Dad. Why's Kilingons got lumpy 'eads?" Jim asked, chirpy sparra. His dad looked up from the paper and thought a tad. "Easy my Cocker! Stand to reason, dun' it. They ain't got no Wednesday in the week." Little Jim looked at Dad 'orribly 'plexed, he Eved him not a jot. "When Sam gets 'is lol, 'e spends a monkey darn the Elephant, 'n' the strife gives him rabbit 'n' clocks him 'im rand the nog. Klingons get arfured every day, cos theres no day wif art pay, his strife gives 'em daisy fresh. That's why Klingons 'ave lumpy 'eads." Just don't pronounce like Dick Van Dyke Last edited by Dave; 28th January 2007 at 11:29 PM. Reason: and same problem again

27th August 2001, 10:49 AM	#17 (permalink)
Gater Muhahaha! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: England Posts: 537	Evil translation? apologies if iys more than 100 words which it no doubt is- anyhow- Why Do Klingons Have Lumpy Heads? "Vy do zee Klingons ave lumpee heds mein Vater?" Leetle Jim said (he was a Trek fan-its a requirement at Evil College) His Vater looked up from the bomb he was constructing. "Vell mein Sohn" he cackled " zat ist obvious, muhahahahahaha, it ist because zey hav no Vednesdays in zer veek" Little Jim looked submissive yet confused so his Vater put down his Plutonium and explained further. "Ven ve get our money from blackmailing ze world, ve go to ze pub to celebrate, zer we meet a Bond girl who vacks us over ze head. And since for ze Klingons, everyday is a blackmailing day, den ze Klingon Bondgirls hav a lot more opportunities to vack zem over ze head, thus causing a lot more bumps than on human supervillians heads and zat ist how they hav lumpee heads" "Now mein Sohn go get me the Uranium i hav a cunning plan...................." Its crap i know but hey! i don't mind!

24th April 2002, 11:13 PM	#22 (permalink)
ray gower Registered User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Gwynedd Posts: 3,579	Another Version In thickest Devon. "'Ow bis Klingons gart lumpy 'eads?" Jim asked. "Ooh Arrgh! My Cocker!" His Da exclaimed, thinking hard. "That be simple that be. It be 'cos there be no Friday in tha week!" Jim, he be all confused, so Da give ow'r and say, "When t'old Squire 'e pay young Sam, e's off like hare to yon' pub fur 'is scrump. An' when t'old vixen git him home, she give him gurt big lump on 'is dome." "Klingons ain't gat day wit' out pay 'n' scrump, So t'old vixen, she got practise wit' gurt lumps. That be 'ow bis Klingons gart lumpy 'eads." 'Ow Bis? Ray Last edited by Dave; 28th January 2007 at 11:31 PM. Reason: and again

25th April 2002, 08:02 PM	#30 (permalink)
Gater Muhahaha! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: England Posts: 537	well according to this weird translator thingamijig it would go like this : Why do Klingons gots lumpy heads, Dad? Little Jim said. (A Trek fan, horribly sad.) Father looked up from da paper, glasses at da end o' his nose. That's obvious son, he declared horribly sure. It saves dem tyme an' cuz dey haven't got any Wednesday's in da week. Little Jim looked at Dad horribly perplexed, so Dad relented an' explained just uh bit. When Sam gets paid, he goes ta da pub, an' our Jill cracks him uh lump on his head. With nahh wednesday wiff out pay an' drink, Mrs Klingon gives him lots o' lumps. That's why Klingons gots lumpy heads. otay buh-weet The site is Ebonics Translator cheerio! Last edited by Dave; 28th January 2007 at 11:32 PM. Reason: and again

29th August 2001, 08:50 AM	#21 (permalink)
Gater Muhahaha! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: England Posts: 537	Thankyou thank you very much!:smilej:

25th April 2002, 01:41 AM	#23 (permalink)
Dave Wherever I Am, I'm There Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Greater London Posts: 11,421	But can Klingons say "Traarcter!" -- the vehicle with the big back wheels used on farms.

25th April 2002, 02:16 AM	#24 (permalink)
Highlander II There can be only one!! Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Virginia Posts: 9,408	these are funny! gimme a couple and I might be able to come up w/ 'southern' (as in 'redneck' USA) --

25th April 2002, 02:38 AM	#25 (permalink)
Highlander II There can be only one!! Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Virginia Posts: 9,408	group effort here -- analise and I worked this one out - this one's more southern than redneck (and yes, there is a difference) Southern US Version "Why does them Kling'ns hev them bumps on ther heads, pa?" yungin Jim-Bob assed. (A StarTrek fan, so dern sad.) His pa sterred up from da pepper. "Reason's obv'us, Jim-Bob!" he declerred. "It's cuz them's po' folk, 'n they don't get no money er'vry week." Yungin Jim-Bob looked at his pa, confus'd, so Pa tried to 'splain. "If'n our Sam-Bob gets ev'n a dime, he gets to thuh drink. Then thuh old lady knocks a knot on his 'ead fer gettin' drunker then a polecat. Klingons ain't got no payday, so's he kin get drunk er'vry day and gets a knot knocked in his dat blamed 'ead er'vry day."

25th April 2002, 02:44 AM	#26 (permalink)
Dave Wherever I Am, I'm There Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Greater London Posts: 11,421	That's great! This thread is really exceptional! There is some really good stuff at ASciFi that most people have never seen, but this thread is one of the best. Any more?

25th April 2002, 08:03 AM	#27 (permalink)
ray gower Registered User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Gwynedd Posts: 3,579	LOL Now wrap a Universal Translator round that lot! I love the Southern version. Proves it's not just us English what can't speak proper! As for more dialects. Think I'm fresh out of gooduns. 'Ampshir an Darset are more style and accent than dialect.

25th April 2002, 04:36 PM	#28 (permalink)
Highlander II There can be only one!! Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Virginia Posts: 9,408	We were gonna do 'ebonics' - but I'm not fluent enough - Maybe my sis can do it -- might be able to talk her into it - not! There are others -- ummm - "Dude" - like surfer talk - re: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or 'Valley Girl' - a la "Clueless" - 'like' and 'as if' --- if i come up w/ something -- i'll post it --

25th April 2002, 07:50 PM	#29 (permalink)
ray gower Registered User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Gwynedd Posts: 3,579	Who on Earth is 'Ebonics'?