The beginning of the end - Page 2 - Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums

Maria8475 · 15th July 2001, 03:52 PM

no, i don't think you'll need another rewrite. You've developed his nicely, keep going at this pace and you'll be an expert writer in no time!

BTW: Happy Hols!

Rowan · 15th July 2001, 04:57 PM

You're getting the hang of it... good work!

The trick to learning to write is to write, then write and then write some more. I feel very priviledged that there were a couple of SG-1 writers who saw my first piecee and spent the time to write back and go over a few spots with me.

Keep at it. You're well on the road now.

Jessa · 15th July 2001, 05:47 PM

ahhh everyones saying 'have nice hols' and i will. If only to please you! Do you want to know where i'm going? guess!

Any way, i can't post the next part til Saturday (probably) because my bruv needs the comp. to do coursework for his GCSE's yadda yadda.

Will improve the next part through the week. (and get my Stargate mad friend to read through and be ruthless with me) I am honestly shivering in my shoes as we talk...er write!

Jessa:blpaw:

pamie · 15th July 2001, 07:22 PM

Hey Jessa,

That was so much better and the start of what i think is a very good story...so keep up the good work

Can't wait to read the next bit

Pam

nic · 15th July 2001, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pamie
Hey Jessa,

That was so much better and the start of what i think is a very good story...so keep up the good work
Can't wait to read the next bit

Pam

Me neither! Can't wait for the next part!

Like nic I can't really write stories very well (although I think you do well nic) - Pamie

Aww, your too kind!

You have a very nice style too!It's very exciting!

sportzgirl16 · 15th July 2001, 09:04 PM

Hey Jessa,
That was great! You've got to keep writing!!!

imported_Sandman · 15th July 2001, 10:05 PM

Like what you did with it, Jessa. keep up the good work.

Annette · 16th July 2001, 12:21 PM

Hi Jessa, just found your fic. Have actually got time to read and try to catch up.

Am enjoying this alot. Can't wait to read the rest.

Hope you've had or are having a great holiday.

annette

jsc · 16th July 2001, 01:16 PM

Good. You are doing better. You have realized that readers and without a clue and you are the clue giver. This part was much better, please keep on going! I didn't realize that you were working from the last part of Season 4's ending. So you are starting where 'Exodus" left off....

Jessa · 17th July 2001, 04:41 PM

Right guys and gals. The next part is presented!

Sam glared at the Jaffa guards as they dropped her very ungracefully to the ground. She heard a quiet laugh and whipped her head round to meet theglowing eyes of her worst, or Earths worst enemy.

"So." Apophis said in his distinct Gou'ld voice. "I have captured two of the infamous SG-1. The Sholva and the female warrior. I shall have fun extracting the information i require from you. If you answer the questions i ask willingly, there will be a great reward." But it was almost if he antisipated her answer because even as he was talking he signaled one of the many Jaffa guards to bring forward an evil looking tool. "Will you tell me?" Apophis asked

"Never!" Sam spat. And moments later an ear piercing scream tore though the whole length of the ship.

The Jaffa had left without even so much as looking at Jack and Daniel and they had only fired at Jacob to stop him from reaching his daughter.
They had only come for Sam. Jacob wanted to know why.
*Why take Sam* he wandered *I have more information than she will ever have. Why take Sam?* Selmac had no answer.

A few paces away, Daniel sat by the throne, staring into space. Jack was pacing infront of him and by the looks of it there would be a hole soon.
How to rescue Sam without getting killed. That was the question. And Jacob needed an answer soon. Or it would be too late.

Jessa · 17th July 2001, 04:45 PM

Nice to see you found my fan fic S-G 16. Any good? i know i haven't actually written very much yet but...you know....

Jessa:blpaw:

sportzgirl16 · 17th July 2001, 09:43 PM

I really like it so far, you've got a great start!!!

imported_Sandman · 17th July 2001, 10:03 PM

Oh, yeah, keep going.

Gemsong · 17th July 2001, 11:46 PM

Good job Jessa. You presented it much more clearly.

What isn't clear though is where Jack and Co are in relation to where Sam is. It could almost give readers the impression they are in the same place, and that's not what you want.

Keep it up. You're already improving in leaps and bounds.

MsGudBod · 19th July 2001, 03:06 PM

I'm hooked now, Jessa. Keep it coming. YOu've got a knack for it, and thank that friend of yours. Mention him/her by name, even a nickname, give a shout out as they say.

15th July 2001, 04:57 PM	#17 (permalink)
Rowan Registered User Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In the wilds of Puget Sound. Near Seth and Cascade, WA. Posts: 2,480	Story... You're getting the hang of it... good work! The trick to learning to write is to write, then write and then write some more. I feel very priviledged that there were a couple of SG-1 writers who saw my first piecee and spent the time to write back and go over a few spots with me. Keep at it. You're well on the road now.

15th July 2001, 03:52 PM	#16 (permalink)
Maria8475 It goes on..... Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 4,690	no, i don't think you'll need another rewrite. You've developed his nicely, keep going at this pace and you'll be an expert writer in no time! BTW: Happy Hols!

15th July 2001, 05:47 PM	#18 (permalink)
Jessa aka Padfoot Join Date: May 2001 Location: can't remember. if i don't know if i'm human, what makes u think i can remember where i live? Posts: 3,424	ahhh everyones saying 'have nice hols' and i will. If only to please you! Do you want to know where i'm going? guess! Any way, i can't post the next part til Saturday (probably) because my bruv needs the comp. to do coursework for his GCSE's yadda yadda. Will improve the next part through the week. (and get my Stargate mad friend to read through and be ruthless with me) I am honestly shivering in my shoes as we talk...er write! Jessa:blpaw:

15th July 2001, 07:22 PM	#19 (permalink)
pamie Space Monkey! Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: South coast of the UK Posts: 3,091	Hey Jessa, That was so much better and the start of what i think is a very good story...so keep up the good work Can't wait to read the next bit Pam

15th July 2001, 09:04 PM	#21 (permalink)
sportzgirl16 Moderator Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Ohio-State Univ Posts: 790	Hey Jessa, That was great! You've got to keep writing!!!

15th July 2001, 10:05 PM	#22 (permalink)
imported_Sandman confused Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 1,222	Like what you did with it, Jessa. keep up the good work.

16th July 2001, 12:21 PM	#23 (permalink)
Annette This is Star - my honey!! Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: West Midlands Posts: 5,944	Hi Jessa, just found your fic. Have actually got time to read and try to catch up. Am enjoying this alot. Can't wait to read the rest. Hope you've had or are having a great holiday. annette

16th July 2001, 01:16 PM	#24 (permalink)
jsc God Like Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Los Angeles, California,U.S.A. Posts: 4,352	Good. You are doing better. You have realized that readers and without a clue and you are the clue giver. This part was much better, please keep on going! I didn't realize that you were working from the last part of Season 4's ending. So you are starting where 'Exodus" left off....

17th July 2001, 04:41 PM	#25 (permalink)
Jessa aka Padfoot Join Date: May 2001 Location: can't remember. if i don't know if i'm human, what makes u think i can remember where i live? Posts: 3,424	Right guys and gals. The next part is presented! Sam glared at the Jaffa guards as they dropped her very ungracefully to the ground. She heard a quiet laugh and whipped her head round to meet theglowing eyes of her worst, or Earths worst enemy. "So." Apophis said in his distinct Gou'ld voice. "I have captured two of the infamous SG-1. The Sholva and the female warrior. I shall have fun extracting the information i require from you. If you answer the questions i ask willingly, there will be a great reward." But it was almost if he antisipated her answer because even as he was talking he signaled one of the many Jaffa guards to bring forward an evil looking tool. "Will you tell me?" Apophis asked "Never!" Sam spat. And moments later an ear piercing scream tore though the whole length of the ship. The Jaffa had left without even so much as looking at Jack and Daniel and they had only fired at Jacob to stop him from reaching his daughter. They had only come for Sam. Jacob wanted to know why. Why take Sam he wandered I have more information than she will ever have. Why take Sam? Selmac had no answer. A few paces away, Daniel sat by the throne, staring into space. Jack was pacing infront of him and by the looks of it there would be a hole soon. How to rescue Sam without getting killed. That was the question. And Jacob needed an answer soon. Or it would be too late.

17th July 2001, 04:45 PM	#26 (permalink)
Jessa aka Padfoot Join Date: May 2001 Location: can't remember. if i don't know if i'm human, what makes u think i can remember where i live? Posts: 3,424	Nice to see you found my fan fic S-G 16. Any good? i know i haven't actually written very much yet but...you know.... Jessa:blpaw:

17th July 2001, 09:43 PM	#27 (permalink)
sportzgirl16 Moderator Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Ohio-State Univ Posts: 790	I really like it so far, you've got a great start!!!

17th July 2001, 10:03 PM	#28 (permalink)
imported_Sandman confused Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 1,222	Oh, yeah, keep going.

17th July 2001, 11:46 PM	#29 (permalink)
Gemsong The Spawn Queen Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Nia'Ladam Posts: 2,379	Good job Jessa. You presented it much more clearly. What isn't clear though is where Jack and Co are in relation to where Sam is. It could almost give readers the impression they are in the same place, and that's not what you want. Keep it up. You're already improving in leaps and bounds.

19th July 2001, 03:06 PM	#30 (permalink)
MsGudBod Cherokee Pride Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,234	I'm hooked now, Jessa. Keep it coming. YOu've got a knack for it, and thank that friend of yours. Mention him/her by name, even a nickname, give a shout out as they say.