Voyager Meets Microsoft -- a humorous parody

[EmilyH]

Voyager meets Microsoft

Disclaimers: The Star Trek universe and characters are owned by Paramount. Microsoft is owned by Bill Gates. This story was not written for profit.

By Emily M. Hanson

*****

"Captain's Log, stardate 45678.90: We've encountered a previously unknown region of space and have detected several temporal and spacial anomalies. We're going to investigate a few of them on our way through this region. Computer, stop recording."

"Captain," Tuvok reported, "we are approching the anomaly."

"On screen."

A colorful display of energy waves filled the view screen.

"Ensign Kim, have the computer analyze that."

"Yes, ma'am." A few moments later, Harry said, "the energy waves seem to be precise mathematical patterns, repeating but varying in color."

Suddenly, the view screen turned blue and white text appeared.

"Fatal Error," Captain Janeway read. "You may have to reboot . . . what does it mean?"

"It's possible that this is a warning mechanism of some sort," Tuvok replied. "Perhaps we should attempt to follow the instructions."

"All right. Captain to Engineering."

"Torres here."

"Lieutenant, please take the warp core off-line. Wait thirty seconds, then bring it back on-line."

"Can I ask why?"

"We've encountered an anomaly, and an unknown species has sent us instructions to follow."

"All right," Lt. Torres replied. Though she wasn't comfortable with the idea, she trusted Janeway.

"Harry, are you getting any more readings?"

"Negative, Captain. It's like the anomaly never existed."

"Strange," Kathryn mused. Could Q be doing this? It seemed more like his work as every second went by. "Tuvok, I want you to shut off all power except for life support. Turn it on when the warp core is back on-line."

"Understood."

Voyager powered down, then turned the systems on again. The viewscreen changed to an image which resembled a primitive computer display. A white arrow floated across the screen, and hovered over an icon that looked like a deck of cards. A solitare game began.

At the helm, Tom Paris started to laugh. "I think we've been had, Captain."

Q appeared on the bridge, grinning from ear to ear. "It's nice to see that someone here appreciates my sense of humor."

Captain Janeway put her hands on her hips and gave Q a defiant look. "Bring us back to normal space."

"Not until you say the magic word, Kathy."

"Please."

Q snapped his fingers and a normal starfield occupied the view screen.

Kathryn slowly exhaled. "Thank you, Q. You can leave now."

"Very well. But remember, I'll be watching." Snapping his fingers, Q disappeared.

"I wish we could have seen how that Solitaire game turned out," Harry Kim remarked.

Tom chuckled. "I wonder whose computer that was?"

Back on Earth in the year 2001, a famous software tycoon smiled as he indulged in a game of Solitaire, never knowing that his computer had briefly been used by the powerful entity known as Q.

The End

[ray gower]

Nicely done-

Still, can't help feeling you youngsters don't know you are born. First computer I dealt with, the Techies carried four parts in their lunch box. A valve, a soldering iron, a big cold chisel and a lump hammer. The last two were used to take the old part out.

[EmilyH]

I started learning to use computers back in the 80's when IBM PC's running Ms-Dos, or Apples, were the only thing available. I was about 12 at the time. I once played a text-based Star Trek game, in Dos. That was probably the first one ever. I also remember when the first real Trek game came out. I never finished it, because I lost my passwords (at the time, designer were password-protecting games to try to beat the software pirates.)

[Dave]

First computer that I used was a Commodore PET. Black and White monitor, and less memory than a modern calculator.

[markpud]

nice story Emily

(i too remember life before Microsoft )

[Maria8475]

okay have to admit i've never had to deal with computers without microsoft but it was a funny fic!!!!

[Status]

Sorry to be adding so long after the story, but I just found it and better late than never. I loved it.. very funny EmilyH.!

Btw, I won't tell how old I was when computers finaly became available to the public.... let's just say I can remember it well :laugh:

[EmilyH]

Thank you! I definitely needed something to put a smile on my face today. Looking for work can be soooo frustrating.

[Highlander II]

Hmmm - 1st compy - was a TI something or other - had cartridges and it hooked up to a TV - oh, and it recorded data on cassette tapes - how's that for old? hehe

nice story Emily!

[EmilyH]

Thanks!