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| Star Trek General Discussions If you\'d like to chat about the premise, the writers, the creator, conventions or whatever ... enter here and join in. |
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6th June 2001, 03:54 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Red Pixie Boot Wearer  Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: North West UK
Posts: 4,596
| Star Trek Jokes Kirk: You chicken ******, you killed my son...YOU chicken ******, you killed...mySON...you CHICKEN *******....you killed my...son! Spock: Fascinating, Captain. Bones: Dammit, I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist! Scotty: Because she couldna take much morrrrrre. Uhura: Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir? Sulu: Don't call me Tiny! Chekov: It must have been on its way to assist in saving my life for the billionth time..did I scream this time? Nurse Chapel: Oh, Spock! Charlie X: Because it didn't want to STAY...STAY...STAY... Harvey Mudd: Chicken? I don't remember any chicken. No no no, there's been a terrible misunderstanding. Sarek: Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned. Khan: With my last breath I spit at the chicken... V'Ger: To join with the Creator. |
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6th June 2001, 03:55 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Red Pixie Boot Wearer Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: North West UK
Posts: 4,596
| Why did the chicken cross the road? [Star Trek: The Next Generation version] Picard: There are four lights! Riker: I don't know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir. Troi: I feel the chicken's pain! Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by an kind of combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes, sir. Geordi: Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more luck with women than I do. Worf: KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads. Dr. Crusher: If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe. Tasha: That depends...was it fully functional? Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal whootchacallit on the computers and... Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc! Mr. Homn: Q: Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer. Dr. Soran: His heart just wasn't in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with nanoprobes have been edited out.) Hugh the Borg: Maybe it just needed a big hug! The Borg: Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated. |
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6th June 2001, 03:56 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Red Pixie Boot Wearer Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: North West UK
Posts: 4,596
| Why did the chicken cross the road? [Star Trek: Deep Space Nine version] Sisko: It was seeking deeper meaning. Jake, do you see what we've learned from all this? Dax: To get to the other side. Kurzon might have disagreed with me, Tobin I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue, and then there's... Kira: It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians. Dr. Bashir: It probably heard about my amazing medical skills not to mention my sexual prowess and came to get some pointers. O'Brien: No problem, Commander, I'll get right on it. Odo: I don't know, but I'm sure it must be Quark's fault. Quark: Who, me? Jake: Check out the babe that just came off that transport! The Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken! You don't cross the road all at once! You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing! Gul Dukat: Well, that's a very interesting question...I'm sure we can work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that will be to everyone's satisfaction. |
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6th June 2001, 03:59 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Red Pixie Boot Wearer Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: North West UK
Posts: 4,596
| Why did the chicken cross the road? [Star Trek: Voyager version] Janeway: Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog. Chakotay: Whatever its reason, whatever its goals, we should respect its right to cross the road and seek its own spiritual awareness. Tuvok: That's not a question we'd prefer to hear from a senior officer. It makes the junior officers nervous. Paris: Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're wearing. Harry: I don't know, it's my first mission. B'Elanna: I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the bleeping regulations of bleeping Starfleet and just couldn't stand it any longer! Neelix: Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the chickens in this system. But, if you can catch it, I can cook it. Kes: It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed roads all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped using them! HoloDoc: How should I know? No one tells me anything around here. I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew. All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the road, if it had remembered to turn me off! |
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