Quote:
Originally Posted by Phyrebrat  I wonder if you could benefit from cutting the introduction to the dialogue. If you were to cut from the death of Lucira and Mairir, to the line to "Does snot rust your armour..." the reader has a cleaner jump to the dialogue and you avoid 'telegraphing in' the fact that he has wiped his nose on his armour. |
That's a very good point - I can now see the unnecesary repetition - cheers for that.
