Re: Extremes prologue part 2 - 1349 words
I really liked the tone of this. The problems that Gary has fitting. It made me grin.
re the fight: I wonder if it would be more likely if there was more of a lead-in -- as it is, they go from perfectly amicable co-operation to violent conflict almost instantly (I know they don't, but the build up is still very short). If the tension rose more slowly and they sniped a bit first, while they're doing other things, maybe it would be less of a leap?