13th June 2012, 03:51 PM
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: West Sussex
Re: describing my star system - about 200 words.
I think I misunderstood this as I got horribly confused.
Originally Posted by springs1971
He took his place at the head of the table and looked at each of the others in turn. They returned his gaze, their full attention on him. Satisfied, he swiped his hand over the desk. [passed his palm over the desk?] A screen formed across the centre of the room, filling it and visible from all angles. It showed the twin star systems governed by the Pettina Empire.
The twelve central planets, each of those a seat of power for the Great Families lay at the cusp of where the planetary discs of each sun crossed. [you mean like the middle bit in a Venn diagram? Does this mean they stay in that crossover zone rather than orbit their sun? If so, then these planets are farthest from the suns?] Around them [around the 12 central planets?], their satellites and nearest planetary clusters formed the mid-zone planets [so these would be closer to each sun than the central planets?], dependent on and tied to an individual Great Family. Further out [OK, now I'm confused. If the central planets were in the crossover zone and thus at extreme range from their own suns, how can these be farther out?], scattered along the fringes of both systems, lay the outer zone planets. Hostile, life-limited, often terraformed, they had been colonised purely to extract any mineral wealth they held. Some were coloured to show the links to a Great Family, some shaded green indicating they were part of the Pettina empire. Most were red: in rebellion, struggling to hold their independence and aligned to the rebels.
The General looked around the table once more, and the room quietened, ready for him to begin. The chart zoomed in to a single planet, one close to Abendau and linked to the planet and the Pettina’s.
“With reference to the recent breach of security on Dignad - ”