I love this. I'm also insanely envious of the art. The Judge picked out everything I saw with the writing, so I can't really say much there. Maybe consider adding specific dialogue. I know it's told from one person, a bit like a travel log, but some of it came across as dry, and adding some immediacy may change that.
I like the right hand page and for me the colours were fine. I particularly like the man buried underground. The dragon-thing confused me. Are there such creatures in this world? Are they going to be featured? If not, I'd lose it. Like Judge says, you can throw some birds in without it looking out of place. I'd be inclined towards a vulture - spread a bit of doom and gloom!
Congratulations.
