Re: Chapter 1 Excerpt - Completely Revised
A very interesting narrative with a nice pace to it. I’m with CTG on this, close to the limit of what I could take with narrative, but, you have done it well so I would have carried on reading, but with the expectation of something more very soon. There are sections I would be tempted to cut/trim, but as the overall flow would be affected by this, I have also held back on editing comments. Shorter needs to be considered Myra, but as a narrative introduction, which I would not normally go for, it flowed and carried me along ok.