Originally Posted by I, Brian
aka, stop writing as if you're watching a film!
The problem is when I close my eyes I am watching a film; I write what I see.
I know I have to learn to get closer into the action, to see the story from the characters POV. But for now I enjoy watching the movie in my head and writing it down like that.
If I'm honest I didn't like the extract you quoted; perhaps because it was taken out of context.
However I do agree with your point!