Originally Posted by springs1971
Interesting, with some stuff going on to pique my interest. I don't think the first section adds anything and the second flows better. I think there is a bit too much telling, and the dialogue tags are something that can be fixed really easily.
Hi springs, thanks for the welcome
I have taken the first part out and I'm thinking of putting it in at a later time with a bit more elaboration or maybe as a memory.
Thanks for your input though and it is something I am giving a lot of thought to