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| Star Trek General Discussions If you\'d like to chat about the premise, the writers, the creator, conventions or whatever ... enter here and join in. |
2nd June 2001, 07:16 PM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Red Pixie Boot Wearer  Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: North West UK
Posts: 4,303
| there are lots out there.... as u said some funny some sad.... Top Ten things Star Trek fathers have said 10) MR. KIRK: "Jim, I'm glad we could have this little talk...You've taught me things about The Birds And The Bees I never knew!..." 9) BEN SISKO: "Jake, get a job, ya bum!" 8) AMBASSADOR SAREK: "My son, cleaning your room is the logical thing to do." 7) KES'S DAD: "Gosh, it seem like only yesterday you were born...Oh, wait, it was yesterday!..." 6) MR. BASHIR: "Remember now, Jules...If anybody asks- you suddenly got so much smarter using "Hooked On Phonics"... 5) MR. LAFORGE: "Keep your eye on the ball, son...Ooooo geez, I'm sorry!..." 4) ROM: "Nog! Stop staring at your new stepmother's enormous breasts!" 3) JACK CRUSHER: "I'm dead, Wes." 2) GUL DUKAT: "Ziyal, I just want you to settle down with a nice fellow with a steady job...maybe, a tailor?...WHAT AM I SAYING??!?" And the Number One thing Star Trek fathers have said... 1) MOGH, DAD OF WORF: "Pull my finger, you filthy P'TaQ!!" |
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2nd June 2001, 07:17 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Red Pixie Boot Wearer Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: North West UK
Posts: 4,303
| Top Ten warning signs The Borg have taken over your airline 10) "Welcome aBORG!" 9) Passengers in First Class receive all the way-cool holographic eye implants; those in Coach just get those funky arm grippers 8) "Ladies and gentlemen- This is your Captain speaking. We'll be reaching a cruising altitude of 47,000 feet...with a brief layover in the 21st Century to alter the course of Human history!" 7) Inflight movie: Robocop 6) "Freedom and self-determination are irrelevant. Prepare to be assimilated...and while you're waiting, enjoy this complimentary bag of peanuts!" 5) "We're sorry, but due to the added weight of your Borg implants, your seat cushion will no longer function as an effective floatation device." 4) "The Captain has turned on the 'No Smoking' sign...Please extinguish all burning life forms and return your seat to an upright position." 3) "Passengers, please make sure your leftover body parts will stow safely under your seat or securely in an overhead compartment." 2) "You mean to tell me you're all part of a huge, multi-mind collective with the combined technology of thousands of worlds...and you STILL lost my luggage?!?..." And the Number One warning sign The Borg have taken over your airline... 1) Three words: "Coffee, Tea, or Lubricants |
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3rd June 2001, 03:13 AM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Wherever I Am, I'm There  | I predict this will be a long and very funny thread. Top Ten Suprises in Upcoming Star Trek X. 10. Synthale is made out of people! 9. Worf too busy at Qo'nos to join rest of crew. 8. Riker and Troi? Twin brother and sister. 7. Chakotay's tattoo shows secret path to mythical planet coverred entirely with water. 6. Despite initial skeptisism, Brent Spiner suprisingly good as Batman/Bruce Wayne. 5. First Contact with Ba'ku race constantly disrupted by Men In Black. 4. Picard is Wesley's father. 3. Cameo appearence by Gillian Anderson as skeptical Science Office Lana Mully. 2. Giant black tablet discoverred in orbit around Jupiter. 1. It's a musical with songs by Tim Rice and Elton John. |
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3rd June 2001, 09:29 AM
| #19 (permalink) |
| Red Pixie Boot Wearer Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: North West UK
Posts: 4,303
| Top Ten things Star Trek fathers have said 10) MR. KIRK: "Jim, I'm glad we could have this little talk...You've taught me things about The Birds And The Bees I never knew!..." 9) BEN SISKO: "Jake, get a job, ya bum!" 8) AMBASSADOR SAREK: "My son, cleaning your room is the logical thing to do." 7) KES'S DAD: "Gosh, it seem like only yesterday you were born...Oh, wait, it was yesterday!..." 6) MR. BASHIR: "Remember now, Jules...If anybody asks- you suddenly got so much smarter using "Hooked On Phonics"... 5) MR. LAFORGE: "Keep your eye on the ball, son...Ooooo geez, I'm sorry!..." 4) ROM: "Nog! Stop staring at your new stepmother's enormous breasts!" 3) JACK CRUSHER: "I'm dead, Wes." 2) GUL DUKAT: "Ziyal, I just want you to settle down with a nice fellow with a steady job...maybe, a tailor?...WHAT AM I SAYING??!?" And the Number One thing Star Trek fathers have said... 1) MOGH, DAD OF WORF: "Pull my finger, you filthy P'TaQ!!" |
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3rd June 2001, 09:30 AM
| #20 (permalink) |
| Red Pixie Boot Wearer Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: North West UK
Posts: 4,303
| Top Ten Star Trek "Kenny"s 10) From any random episode: Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed a Redshirt!! Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed a Redshirt!! Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed a Redshirt!! Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed a Redshirt!! Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed a Redshirt!! Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed a Redshirt!! Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed a Redshirt!! Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed a Redshirt!! Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed a Redshirt!! Those bastards!! 9) From Man Trap: Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed the Salt Vampire!! That sucks!! 8) From Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan: Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed Spock!! Now he wants to direct!! That bastard!! 7) From Star Trek III: The Search For Spock: Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) You killed my son!! You...Klingon...bastard!! 6) From Skin Of Evil: Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed Tasha!! Not to mention Denise Crosby's career!! Those bastards!! 5) Star Trek fans after watching Star Trek: Generations: Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed The Franchise!! Those bastards!! 4) From Basics, Part 2: Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed Seska and Suder!! But, but, they were the best characters on the show!?! Those bastards!! 3) From Sacrifice Of Angels: Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) You killed Ziyal!! Damar, I'm gonna have Kira kick your ass again, you bastard!! 2) From Emanations and Deadlock, et al: Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed Harry!! And he won't stay dead!! That bastard!! And the Number One Star Trek "Kenny"... 1) Wishful thinking: Oh, my God!! ( ((x x)) ) They killed Wesley!! Thank you, bastards!! |
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3rd June 2001, 12:42 PM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Red Pixie Boot Wearer Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: North West UK
Posts: 4,303
| Top 10 Reasons the Borg have NOT returned to fight the Federation again: 10. New assimilation software turned out to be vaporware; back to square one when the supplier's 1-800 number was disconnected. 9. Assimilation of Locutus caused chaos as the Borg became caught up in a massive Sam Spade adventure game craze. 8. If Earth were assimilated, the commute from Borg home planet would be a killer drive. 7. Collective Borg decided a cube was to complicated a form - awaiting building of a new pyramid ship. 6. Earth was too blue for their tastes; they were hoping for an emerald green planet, something in a teal, with tasteful lavender clouds. 5. Bidding war for exclusive appearance in Coke or Pepsi commercials too agonizing a choice... returned home to rebuild decision circuits. 4. Earth too close to the sun... would ruin their cultivated pallor. 3. They heard that Worf bragged of personally kicking their butts if they showed their face in the sector again...began laughing for first time, haven't stopped yet. 2. $29 navigation chip failed..they now have NO idea where Earth is..wandering out by the Cardassians, asking directions. And the number one reason the Borg haven't returned to Earth.... 1. WESLEY CRUSHER. |
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10th May 2004, 02:20 AM
| #24 (permalink) |
| Wherever I Am, I'm There | Top Ten Reality Shows of 24th Century from http://scifi.about.com/mbody.htm 10. When Telepaths Attack 9. Trading Bodies 8. Survivor: Red Shirt 7. Pre-Warp Civilization Idol 6. Judge Q 5. Orion Slave Girl Meets Sexless Glob of Sentient Goo 4. Positronic Chef 3. The Alien Posession Patrol 2. Holodeck Confessions 1. Denebian Jackass |
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