Re: This "Tendulkar" just isn't Cricket....
Woo-hoo!! Congratulations on the 10,000!!
I loved this, Ursa! I liked your other pieces, but they were too scientificky for my feeble brain to cope with, but a girl driving a car at speed and cursing at it -- that I can grasp!
I had a couple of minor queries/thoughts on a first read though, and one more majorish one. Minor first:
I was pretty sure she was English, or at least not American, so the use of "highway" was a bit odd. I know we do use it, but I'd have expected "road" or "dual carriageway" (it is the A31, isn't it...?) If she is American, perhaps make her speech more Americanish?
Another was "meteroid". I know that it's accurate, as it's only a meteorite if it survives the landing, but it's not a word which trips off most people's tongues, so unless she's a specialist (which I appreciate she might be as she knows about the parallel path thing), or it's become a word in common usage in this world/time, it might be worth changing it.
Also the "every meteor... had struck the ground" confused me on first reading. What else could they strike? Then I realised they should have been burnt up in the atmosphere (?I think??). It might be worth saying that, perhaps?
The majorish thing was her reaction to Eustoma and the whole conversation with her. I couldn't work out if she knew who Bellis was, ie Mel herself isn't an ordinary mortal or at least knows people who aren't, or whether she thought she was talking to Death as part of an hallucination or something -- the bit about knowing she's dreaming comes so late, and seems to refer to the joining war against Bellis. And her "too angry to be a victim" suggested she knew she was talking to someone real, not an apparition. Perhaps just a bigger hint as to which it is might be of help to eejits like me?
But apart from those quibbles, I thought it was excellent. Good pace, good POV, good character. Good all round! I want to know what happens next!