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Hex · 25th April 2012, 01:28 PM

Ahem. Back for the last paragraph:

I wasn't sure about 'try to fight it' (do you need the 'try to'?) and I disliked 'didn't have the faintest idea as to what it was' -- could you say '...didn't have the faintest idea what it was" instead?

I did like this passage and it's gripping and involving. Everything makes sense and the description is generally fresh and effective. Yey.

25th April 2012, 01:28 PM	#8 (permalink)
Hex Creepy Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: City of Edinburgh Posts: 2,609 Blog Entries: 31	Re: Small excerpt: 430 words Ahem. Back for the last paragraph: I wasn't sure about 'try to fight it' (do you need the 'try to'?) and I disliked 'didn't have the faintest idea as to what it was' -- could you say '...didn't have the faintest idea what it was" instead? I did like this passage and it's gripping and involving. Everything makes sense and the description is generally fresh and effective. Yey.