Re: Small excerpt: 430 words
I liked it Scott but like most of the others a few of the descriptions didn’t quite hit the mark for me.
swimming in treacle
My knees trembled – felt funny which was wrong for the scene
just how far the rabbit hole went – reminded me of the Matrix
my mind, however, was going to take a hell of a lot more convincing of the fact – this sentence as per Gary was over worked.
There were as many descriptions that I liked. I liked the first paragraph and the first line of the third paragraph. I liked the pressure image as it made the use of magic feel difficult. Overall The section was expressed well leaving me with very clear ideas and images, it felt good to me.