Re: Tense scene
It’s always difficult when a character is on its own to get their feelings across while keeping the pace of the story going. I do think you managed it here and I did like a lot of the descriptions you used. It was for me bordering on being overworked but you still managed to keep me with you which was good. You introduced quite a lot of menace near the end in a very nice way. I’m not a fan of large chunks of descriptive writing but for me, you have pulled it off in the section posted. If however your whole work followed a similar pattern, I would tire of it quickly. Pace of plot is also important. This is the problem with posting small sections, it’s not always easy to get a full picture of you WIP.
There will however be plenty of members that will like what has been posted, it was well written.