Sounds good, and you can always re-write it to be more obvious afterwards if it doesn't quite work.
The thing that really hit it home for me was when I had to write a short story for an exercise in the course I was in last year. It was to write something for Radio 4, which freaked me out a bit as I don't listen to Radio 4 at all (and also it was a pointless market as they don't accept short stories from unknowns.)
So I wrote a gritty urban fairy tale about a man whose marriage and life is falling apart - because of his selfish actions - who at the same time breaks the sky - because of his selfish actions.
Now I could have written it with subtle nuances and left it to the reader/listener to make the connection between the normal and the supernatural experiences; that one mirrors the other. But no, unsure of the market I made the character just blurt it all out, in my eyes, in plain English.
I felt strange writing it, it felt like a garish Vaudaville - almost an obvious parody (man in suburbia has marriage crisis and break down; weird stuff explained fully to reader). Wasn't really the path I thought I was going with my writing.
Got the best and most generous comments from people reading it (compared to anything else I'd written to that point). Felt strangely gutted and deflated by the praise
It's a hard life trying to be a writer, you can never really win...