Re: When to do the reveal
I understand what you are saying Gumboot and maybe my original post didn't fully explain what I intended. Maybe it was due to attempting a relatively lengthy reply on a mobile phone screen where I couldn't see all the text.
I still don't read that passage in LotR as you have. The shock of apparently losing a main character so early was above and beyond any mentions of dread. That was the point I was trying to get at. Having looked back at the work I'm writing I do offer similar "foreshadows" as you call them but attempt to keep them for the reader to decide on. Whether they are subtle or blatant as a sledgehammer I'm not sure at the moment, the persons I have reading for plot development/speed have not pointed them out as yet.
To return to the original post my intention was to the highlight the beauty of a shock in a story. I stand by that and whether that makes me a poor writer, then as I say, that is your opinion. However, I did find the original reply be a touch objectionable in how it was worded in labeling my suggestion as poor writing without first seeking clarification. It is not the best way to welcome a newcomer to a forum.