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Old 23rd March 2012, 06:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Re: Would you call this filler? (675 words)


Ok, I haven't got a lot to add red-pen wise, other than I'd delete the 'she' in this bit: She instead pondered his method. And put it after the instead.

As for filler... I don't know. She's stuck in a cell so it makes sense for her to stop and take stock of the situation. In places it almost feels like it's you, the author, trying to work out what's going on and get it across to the reader, rather than her working things out. Does that make sense?

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