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| Buffy What started out as a campy movie, became one of the hottest shows on TV, with seven action packed seasons. Discuss the complete Buffy: the Vampire Slayer saga here. |
29th May 2002, 02:04 AM
| #391 (permalink) |
| OB-Wan  Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,357
| To help us make it until Season Six joins the Quote thread here, I've put together some Season Five Quotes. XANDER: Buffy's gone insane. WILLOW: What? What'd she do? XANDER: Brace yourself. You're not gonna believe it. TARA: Everyone, before we jump all over her, people do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother, I- I did some pretty dumb stuff, like lying to my family and staying out all night. ANYA: Buffy's boinking Spike. WILLOW: Oh...! Well, Ta- Tara's right. Grief can be powerful, and we shouldn't judge... TARA: What are you, kidding? She's nuts! -------------------------------------------------------- SPIKE: She's upset about her mum. And if she turns to me for comfort, well, I'm not gonna deny it to her. I'm not a monster. XANDER: Yes. You are a monster. Vampires are monsters. They make monster movies about them. SPIKE: Well, yeah, you got me there. -------------------------------------------------------- FIRST SLAYER: You're afraid that being the Slayer means losing your humanity. BUFFY: Does it? FIRST SLAYER: You are full of love. You love with all of your soul. It's brighter than the fire... blinding. That's why you pull away from it. -------------------------------------------------------- GLORY [about Spike]: What the hell is that, and why is his hair that color? MURK: Stunning one, we believe he is... MURK AND JINX: The Key! GLORY: Really? That's fantabulous...! And impossible. He can't be The Key, because, see, The Key... has to be pure. This is a vampire. Lesson number one, vampires equal impure. SPIKE: Yeah, damn right I'm impure. I'm as impure as the driven yellow snow. -------------------------------------------------------- XANDER: Buffy, we care about you, and we're worried about you. The way you're acting, the things you're doing... ANYA: It's wrong. WILLOW: Wait. This shouldn't be about blame. BUFFY: Blame? There's blame now? WILLOW: No, there's only love. And... some fear. ANYA: Which is kind of thrown by the you-having-sex-with-Spike. BUFFY: The... Who whating how with huh?! ANYA: Okay, that's denial. That usually comes before anger. BUFFY: I am not having sex with Spike! ANYA: Anger. XANDER: No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled. BUFFY: I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that you might be. -------------------------------------------------------- XANDER [about the Buffybot]: Spike must have had her built so he could program her t... BUFFY: Oh God. WILLOW: Yikes. Imagine the things... BUFFY: No...! No... No imagining... any of you. XANDER: Already got the visual. -------------------------------------------------------- GLORY: So start talkin'. SPIKE: Yeah. Okay. The Key. Here's the thing... It's that guy... on TV... What's his name? GLORY: On the television? SPIKE: That show... The prize show... where they guess what stuff cost? MURK: The Price Is Right? JINX: Oh, Bob Barker! MURK: We will bring you Bob Barker! We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Bark... GLORY: It is not Bob Barker, scabby morons! The Key is new to this world... and Bob Barker is as old as grit. The vampire... is lying to me. SPIKE: Yeah... but it was fun. And guess what, bitch. I'm not telling you Jack. You're never gonna get your sodding key, 'cause you might be strong, but in our world, you're an idiot. GLORY: I am a God. SPIKE: The God of What? ...Bad home perms? GLORY: Shut up! I command you, shut up! SPIKE: Yeah, okay, sorry, but I just had no idea that Gods were such prancing lightweights. Mark my words, The Slayer... is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a... cheap, whorish, fashion victim ex-God like you. -------------------------------------------------------- XANDER: Honey... Old saying. "A watched customer never buys." ANYA: They would if they were patriotic. XANDER: Okay, I'm goin' in... Patriotic? ANYA: Yes. I've recently come to realize there's more to me than just being human. I'm also an American. GILES: Yes, I suppose you are, in a manner of speaking. You were born here - your mortal self. ANYA: Well, that's right, Foreigner. So I've been reading a lot about the good ol' U.S. of A, embracing the extraordinarily precious ideology that's helped to shape and define it. WILLOW: Democracy? ANYA: Capitalism. The free market depends on the profitable exchange of goods for currency. It's a system of symbiotic beauty apparently lost on these old people. Look at 'em. Perusing the shelves. Undressing the merchandise with their eyeballs... All ogle, no cash. It's not just annoying, it's un-American. GILES: Appalling. Almost as if they no longer think money can buy happiness. -------------------------------------------------------- XANDER: Hey, what's up? It's Dawn Giovanni and the Buffster. -------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Well, it's just for now. I mean, I'm thinking that I'm probably gonna go back next semester. XANDER: And that's cool too. Whatever you choose, you've got my support. Just think of me as... as your... You know, I'm searching for supportive things, and I'm comin' up all bras, so... something slightly more manly, think of me as that. -------------------------------------------------------- GILES [about Dawn]: You're just going to have to put your foot down with her. BUFFY: I try. It's just... my foot's not used to being put down. I want you to do it. You can be the foot-putting-downer. GILES: No, Buffy, I don't think I can. BUFFY: Please? Pretty please? I mean, your foot is way bigger than mine! And you're so much more a grownup than me. Dawn needs an authority figure - a strong guiding hand. She'll listen to you. GILES: Just like you always have. -------------------------------------------------------- WILLOW: ...I'd totally be blowing off classes if I were in Dawnie's shoes. TARA: Sweetie, you wouldn't blow off a class if your head was on fire. -------------------------------------------------------- WILLOW: Well, I took Psych 101. I mean, I took it from an evil government scientist, who was skewered by her Frankenstein-like creation before the final, but I know what a Freudian slip is. -------------------------------------------------------- GILES: I hope this isn't a return. Everyone wants petrified hamsters and they're never happy with them. -------------------------------------------------------- GLORY: Think about it. You think your hand hurts? Imagine what you'd feel with my fingers wiggling in your brain. It doesn't kill you. What it does... is make you feel like you're in a noisy little dark room... naked and ashamed... and there are things in the dark that need to hurt you because you're bad... little pinching things that go in your ears... and crawl on the inside of your skull. And you know... that if the noise and the crawling would stop... that you could remember how to get out........ But you never, ever will. -------------------------------------------------------- GILES: There must be something in the Book of Tarnis that we've missed, something we can use against Glory. ANYA: Piano! XANDER: Because that's what we used to kill that big demon that one time...! No wait, that... that was a rocket launcher. Ahn, what are you talking about? ANYA: We should drop a piano on her... Well, it always works for that creepy cartoon rabbit when he's running from that nice man with the speech impediment. -------------------------------------------------------- ANYA: Anybody else feel that? WILLOW: What? ANYA: Cold draft of paralyzing fear. GILES: We just need to stay calm. WILLOW: Calm, right. XANDER: Hey, we gotta be like Sergeant Rock. Cool and collected in the face of overwhelming odds. ANYA: Over-whelming? How much more than whelming would that be exactly? -------------------------------------------------------- SPIKE: Buckle up, kids. Daddy's puttin' the hammer down. -------------------------------------------------------- ANYA: Shouldn't somebody be asking, "Are we there yet?" Isn't that what small entertaining children do? DAWN: That kinda only works if you know where you're going. ANYA: Do we know where we're going yet? -------------------------------------------------------- DAWN: Hey. I think Anya's gonna try to cook. Wanna come watch the tears and recriminations? -------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: I like this. Thanks. ANYA: Here to help. Wanna live. XANDER: Smart chicks are so hot. WILLOW: You couldn't have figured that out in tenth grade? -------------------------------------------------------- XANDER: Spike's sexbot. Why didn't they just melt it down into scrap? ANYA: Maybe Willow wanted it. XANDER: I don't think Willow feels that way about, about Buffy. I mean, I know she's gone through a lot of changes, but... ANYA: To study it. XANDER: Right... Robotics... Science... ANYA: Pervert. XANDER: Other pervert. -------------------------------------------------------- WILLOW: Well, I've been charting their essences. Mapping out. I think... If I can get close enough, I may be able to reverse what Glory did. Like, take back what she took from Tara. It might weaken Glory, or... make her less coherent. Or it might make all our heads explode. -------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Okay. I'll grab some weapons too. XANDER: I'm looking for something in a broadsword. SPIKE: Don't be swingin' that thing near me. XANDER: Hey, I happen to be... SPIKE: A glorified bricklayer? XANDER: I'm also a swell bowler. ANYA: Has his own shoes. SPIKE: The gods themselves do tremble. -------------------------------------------------------- SPIKE: Well, not exactly the St. Crispin's Day speech, was it? GILES: We few... We happy few. SPIKE: We band of buggered. <The Final Lines of the Speech: We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition; And gentlemen in England now-a-bed Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. The Chivalry Bookshelf The Knighthood, Tournaments & Chivalry Resource Library> |
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26th June 2002, 02:05 AM
| #393 (permalink) |
| OB-Wan Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,357
| It's been a while, how about some wedding memories? --------------------------------------------------------------------- XANDER: The radio said no traffic. ANYA: It's a hell radio, of course it said that. We'll never get to the airport in time to pick up your stupid Uncle. XANDER: It just gives my Uncle Rory more time at the bar. Trust me, he'll be happy. ANYA: Great. So he can sleep off his drunken stupor on our newly re-upholstered couch. XANDER: He can't afford a hotel. ANYA: Why are you defending him? XANDER: I'm not. I hate my uncle. I hate my whole family. That's why I'm marrying you, to start a new family. Have children, make them hate us, then one day they'll get married, we'll sleep on their couch. It's the circle of life. ANYA: Well, the Gnarals are teleporting in, in twenty minutes. If I'm not there to greet them... somebody's getting incinerated. XANDER: Why did we ever agree to have your friends, who are demons, and my family, who are monsters, stay at our place? ANYA: Well, I can only do so much, Xander. Planning this marriage is like staging the invasion of Normandy. XANDER: Without the laughs. We should have eloped. ANYA: No! I've been through too much planning this wedding, and it is going to happen. It is going to be our perfect, perfect day if I have to kill every one of our guests and half this town to do it. --------------------------------------------------------------------- WILLOW: Oh my god, last night, that rehearsal dinner. That was like a, a zoo without the table manners.... --------------------------------------------------------------------- WILLOW: ...Ugh, did you see how much they [Xander's family] drank? BUFFY: Kinda. Mr. Harris threw up in my purse. --------------------------------------------------------------------- VERSION 1 ANYA: I, Anya, promise to... love you, to cherish you, to honor you, uh... but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something? However, I do entrust you with... um, with my heart. Take care of my heart, won't you please? Take care of it because, it's all that I have. And, if you let me, I'll take care of your heart too. I'll protect it and tend to it, like a little stray... Wait, no... Like a, a little mangy stray that needs a home... No, that's not it either. --------------------------------------------------------------------- At the wedding D'HOFFRYN: ...May the love we celebrate today avoid an almost inevitable decline. [edited] I brought a gift. I suppose there's a table. [edited] DAWN: Hmm. Neat. I can put this on the table for you. D'HOFFRYN: Thank you. Uh, careful, it's, uh... DAWN: Fragile? D'HOFFRYN: Squirmy. --------------------------------------------------------------------- XANDER: How do I look? BUFFY: Well, let's see. Found your shoes... your fly's zipped. I'd say you look like you're ready to get married. You're one of the decent ones, Xander. I hope I'm as lucky as you guys someday. XANDER: You wanna get lucky? I've still got, what, fifteen, twenty minutes? BUFFY: Oh!... All right, into the breach with you. XANDER: Okay, breach me. XANDER: Now, let's go over the list one more time. Number one? BUFFY: Don't let your dad near the bar. XANDER: Check. Number two? BUFFY: Don't let your mom near the bar. XANDER: Check. --------------------------------------------------------------------- MR. HARRIS: ...Hey, what do you say we slip in the back room and I show you my... BUFFY: You finish that sentence and I guarantee you won't have anything to show. --------------------------------------------------------------------- VERSION 2 ANYA: I, Anya, promise to cherish you... Ew, no, not cherish. Uh, I promise... to have sex with you whenever... I want, and, uh... uh, pledge to be your friend, and your wife, and your confidant, and your sex poodle... --------------------------------------------------------------------- [Buffy stalling] BUFFY: Uh, hee, sorry about that. Um... there's just gonna be a little bit of a delay. ANYA: Why? What's wrong? BUFFY: Nothing! Nothing's wrong, it's just, um... it... the... the minister. He had, uh... to go... and perform an emergency C-section. ANYA: A C-section? BUFFY: Yeah! You know, he's, uh... not... not just a minister, he's also a... a doctor. You know, he's half-minister, half-doctor, he's a... a mini-tor. Not, of course, to be confused with a minotaur! Because he's all, you know, man, this doctor minister man... no... no bull parts whatsoever. ANYA: Uh-huh. BUFFY: So it, it should just be a couple of minutes. ANYA: Okay. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Version 3 ANYA: Okay. For the last time. I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because... I love you and I'll always love you. And... before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. Not even a person, really... and I had seen what love could do to people, and it was... hurt and sadness. Alone was better. And then, suddenly there was you, and... you knew me. You saw me, and it was this... thing. You make me feel safe and warm. So, I get it now. I finally get love, Xander. I really do. --------------------------------------------------------------------- ANYA: I mean, I am sorry, but what the hell is that minister thinking? TARA: Uh, I don't know, he... ANYA: I mean, delivering a baby! On my special day! I mean, it's totally rude of him and the mother. I mean, why couldn't he have just told her to hold it? --------------------------------------------------------------------- And a little bit of What's-his-name. --------------------------------------------------------------------- RILEY: Sorry to just drop in on you like this, Buffy. BUFFY: It's you. RILEY: It's me. BUFFY: You're here. RILEY: I know. BUFFY: And... Were you always this tall? --------------------------------------------------------------------- RILEY: We've been tear-assing through every jungle from Paraguay up, taking out nests. As soon as we put one Suvolte down, a dozen take its place. They're breeders, Buffy. One turns into ten, ten becomes a hundred. This gets out of hand and there's a war with humans? Humans are gonna lose. BUFFY: So they're like really mean Tribbles. --------------------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Nice wheels. RILEY: Came with the car. --------------------------------------------------------------------- RILEY: ...Got some, uh... big stories to tell you too. If we ever get half a second. BUFFY: Did you die? RILEY: No. BUFFY: I'm gonna win. --------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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26th June 2002, 02:27 AM
| #394 (permalink) |
| There can be only one!!  Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Texas
Posts: 9,616
| good quotes!! From "All the Way" Buffy: Didn't anyone come here just to make out? <two 'teens' raise their hands timidly> Buffy: Awww. How sweet. You run. <points to couple> <points to vampire> You... scream. |
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2nd July 2002, 08:41 PM
| #395 (permalink) |
| Explorer Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: New York
Posts: 617
| I love it when Spike says "Balls!" It's really funny to me and my sisters because my Dad has been saying that for years and then it started to show up in movies (Lake Placid) and on TV (Ally McBeal and Buffy). Very Funny! We tell my Dad he should get royalties. |
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3rd July 2002, 05:27 AM
| #396 (permalink) |
| Registered User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Melbourne
Posts: 91
| My fav for S6 so far.... * * * * * * Possible Spoiler Its from As You Were... BUFFY: My hat has a cow. ::sigh:: I dunno why, but that line, in that scene, really cracks me up! I know its not a real spoiler, but [shrug] ya never know!:blush: |
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3rd July 2002, 08:37 AM
| #397 (permalink) |
| R.I.P. Ashes Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Australia
Posts: 1,772
| I don't know if this has been posted before but I'll post it anyway. Jonathan: We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight? Did she....um...This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write in ballots and the prom committee asked me to read this. ‘We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you. But that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's not secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here.’ Student: Zombies. Student: Hyena people. Student: Snyder. Jonathan: ’But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you. Or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know that at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers it's thanks and gives you, uh... this.’ It's from all of us. And it has written here, Buffy Summers- Class Protector. |
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18th July 2002, 04:34 AM
| #401 (permalink) |
| OB-Wan Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,357
| I'm sorry gang, I must have been sleepwalking through this thread, or perhaps I thought I was in the Season Six Quotes, which we do have. ALL quotes from Season Six are spoilers until Sept. 24. I know that some could be considered innocent, but one line leads to two, which leads to story details like Spike holding... well, you get the idea. Please put Season Six quotes in Season Six quotes. On Sept. 24, when Buffy Season Seven premieres in the US, I will merge that thread with this one, making all Season Six quotes part of this thread. On that date, all Season Six material will be fair game and I will have to watch out for people slipping Season Seven stuff past me. Thanks in advance for your cooperation, Your friendly neighborhood moderator. |
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18th July 2002, 04:55 AM
| #402 (permalink) |
| OB-Wan Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,357
| In order to make up for my slackage, I will pay in the coin of the realm - quotes! ------------- ANYA [about Buffy & Xander dancing]: I let them do that. Dance together. That was me. TARA: Very nice of you. WILLOW: A good deed. ANYA: Yes. I'm expecting a big karmic reward any second now. -------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Ben! Hey. I didn't even know you were here. And again with the non-medical clothing. BEN: Well, actually, these are orthopedic pants... Man, that sounded so funny in my head. -------------------------------------------------------- ANYA [about Chex Mix]: Look at these tiny grain patties. They're woven. That's craftsmanship. -------------------------------------------------------- ANYA [about April, the robot]: She speaks with a strange evenness and selects her words a shade too precisely. XANDER: Well, some of us like that kind of thing in a girl. -------------------------------------------------------- XANDER [about April, the robot]: Somehow I don't think a girl that looks like that's gonna be lonely for too long. WILLOW: Definitely not...... [to Tara] Oh, not me, I... I was just saying, a pretty girl like that, there's always someone lurking around, looking for some action. -------------------------------------------------------- SPIKE: Small world... Oh dear. If looks could stake. You having fun, pet? You... trolling for your next ex? -------------------------------------------------------- SPIKE: Thought I was gonna leave town? It's a free country... Free party. If you want me to leave, you can put your hands on my hot, tight little body and make me. -------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: So, are you ready to dance? BEN: Um, first... BUFFY: What's that? BEN: Uh, yeah, my phone number. I was gonna try to subtly work it into the conversation, but it didn't pan out, and I thought I should try to give it to you before you see me dance. -------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Ow. I don't know about you guys, but I've had it with super-strong little women, who aren't me. TARA: Well, at least she didn't do too much damage. XANDER: Are you kidding? Double-glazed windows ain't cheap. And the jamb needs to be completely repaired... Oh dear God, I'm the grownup who sees the world through my job. I'm like my Uncle Dave, the plumber. I must be shunned. -------------------------------------------------------- GILES: Dear god, Buffy, there's only so much I can take. We're going to have to change the system. A fourteen-year-old's too old to be babysat, and it's not fair on her. BUFFY: What'd she make you do? GILES: Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance... then we ate cookie dough and talked about boys. BUFFY: I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my "fun time Buffy party night" involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window, so if you wanna trade... No... Wait... I wouldn't give that memory up for anything. -------------------------------------------------------- JOYCE: Gosh, I'd forgotten how much fun dating can be. BUFFY: I don't know. I was standing right here. I didn't see Prince Charming. I didn't even see a goodnight kiss. It all looked pretty tame to me. JOYCE: Well, I suppose by your standards it could seem pretty... Oh dear! BUFFY: What? JOYCE: I left my bra in his car. BUFFY: Mother! JOYCE: I'm joking. BUFFY: Good God, that's horrible. Don't do that. JOYCE: I left it in the restaurant. BUFFY: No more! No more! No more! JOYCE: On the dessert cart! BUFFY: I can't hear you! -------------------------------------------------------- GILES: And you're certain she was a robot? BUFFY: Absolutely. TARA: Well, she practically had "Genuine Molded Plastic" stamped on her ass...... Just... tryin' a little spicy talk. -------------------------------------------------------- TARA: Oh, do you have any books on robots? GILES: Oh, yes, dozens. There's an enormous amount of research we should do before... No, I'm lying. I haven't got squat, I just like to see Xander squirm. -------------------------------------------------------- XANDER: She's a sexbot. I mean, what guy doesn't dream about that? Beautiful girl with... no other thought but to please you... willing to do anything......... [notices looks] XANDER: ...Too many girls. I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but... he'd get it. -------------------------------------------------------- GILES: Spike, you're not welcome here [the Magic Box]. WILLOW: Yeah, and by the way, we're working on a way to de-invite you from here... even if it is a public place. XANDER: Nah, forget it. Letting him in is good, 'cause then we get to toss him out. ANYA: Ooh, can we throw him out the window like the robot did? 'Cause that was neat. -------------------------------------------------------- XANDER: See, you construct the wood jamb and frame the glass into it, and that's what you set into the opening. BUFFY: Yeah? XANDER: One of the cool things about that, you see is, uh, the jamb can be shimmed to be square, even if the opening isn't. BUFFY: Shimmed? Is that even a real word? Do you have any idea what you're talking about? XANDER: Yeah, I do. Scary, isn't it? I think I've actually turned into someone you want around after a crazed robot attack. BUFFY: And if you ever start your own business, you have your slogan right there. -------------------------------------------------------- XANDER: Robots are the strangest people. -------------------------------------------------------- |
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18th July 2002, 05:18 AM
| #403 (permalink) |
| OB-Wan Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,357
| I was rummaging around in the quote vault and thougt I should throw a few of them out. ---------------------------- DAWN: I'm guessing on how you say it. It's got an apostrophe. I think it's Mmm-Fashnik. Like "Mmm, cookies." XANDER: Or maybe, Muh-Fashnik. Like Muh... Fashnik. DAWN: This your guy? BUFFY: You do research now? Want a cappuccino and a pack of cigarettes to go with it? DAWN: Would you just look at the picture? XANDER: Doesn't exactly fit the profile for your typical bank robber. BUFFY: Maybe they turned down his loan application. --------------------------------------------------------------------- [Buffy hugs Giles tightly.] GILES: You're alive. You're here. And you're still ... ugh ...remarkably strong. BUFFY: Huh? Oh. Sorry. GILES: Willow told me, but I didn't really let myself believe... BUFFY: I take a little getting used to. I'm still getting used to me. GILES: It's, uh... you're... BUFFY: A miracle? GILES: Yes... but then, I always thought so. --------------------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Wow. Giles, are you miserable about it, or just really British? --------------------------------------------------------------------- GILES: And how are you? Really? You look tired. BUFFY: Me? Nah. Fine. BUFFY: I mean, yeah, you know, sleeping's hard, but... just because of the whole waking up in a box thing. So maybe waking up's the problem. You know, but just for a second. I sleep okay... great even... except, you know, for the dreams... --------------------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: It was just a little post-post-mortem comedy. --------------------------------------------------------------------- ANYA: Giles...! We're so glad to see you. We missed you... You can't have the store back. GILES: I know. ANYA: You signed papers. GILES: I did. And, do we have information on this new demon that I suddenly find so desperately interesting? --------------------------------------------------------------------- GILES: M'Fashnik. Oh. DAWN: Aha! Like Mmm, cookies. GILES: Uh, no, quite different, actually. --------------------------------------------------------------------- DEMON: Which of you is the leader? ANDREW & JONATHAN & WARREN: I am. DEMON: I will kill the leader. ANDREW & JONATHAN & WARREN: He is. DEMON: I will kill you all. JONATHAN: Wait! Uh! No fair! It's not our fault the Slayer was there. We said we'd pay you, and we're gonna. WARREN: Yes! Truly, Lord Jonathan is the wisest of us all. ANDREW: Uh, yeah, long live our noble lord and master. JONATHAN: You guys suck. --------------------------------------------------------------------- WARREN: Well, between the three of us, we can pretty much do anything. JONATHAN: Like, you want a spell to make you look super-cool to the other demons? I'm all over that action, my friend. WARREN: Or, just throwing it out there, robot girlfriend. Huh? For those long, lonely nights after a hard day's slaughter? DEMON: You can do this? ANDREW: Don't trust him... robo-pimp daddy's all mouth. WARREN: Shut up, Andrew! You're just mad I wouldn't build you Christina Ricci. --------------------------------------------------------------------- ANDREW: Hello! Screen-wipe, new scene. I had nothing to do with the devil dogs. I trained flying demon monkeys to attack the school play. School play, dude! WARREN: That was cool. That was kinda cool. JONATHAN: Remember, everyone was like, "Run, Juliet!" --------------------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: I blame the sofa. We need one of those pull-out kinds. The kind with no payments 'til two-thousand-and-infinity. GILES: What? BUFFY: Oh, it's... just money stuff. It turns out... Mom left me some, and while I was dead, it got squandered on luxuries like... food and clothing. --------------------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Figured I'd put it out of my mind. You know, take a break. Get some perspective... and then wake up at four a.m. terrified. --------------------------------------------------------------------- JONATHAN: Are we really gonna kill her? That's so sad. WARREN: Shut up, Whine-athan. ANDREW: But... I... I don't want to kill Buffy either. JONATHAN: Yeah, she saved my life a bunch of times! Plus, she's hot. WARREN: It's her or us. I mean, we have to do it. ANDREW: We're talking about murder. WARREN: No, we're talking about staying alive, and since this is my mom's house, I think what I say goes. --------------------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Everyone..... They all care. They all care so much, it... makes it all harder. SPIKE: I'm not sure I followed you around that bend, luv. BUFFY: I don't know. I just, I feel like I'm spending all of my time trying to be okay, so they don't worry. It's exhausting. And then, I... SPIKE: And that makes 'em worry even more... You want me to take them out? Give me a hell of a headache, but I could probably thin the herd a little. --------------------------------------------------------------------- DAWN: You ever try mixing parts of every cereal you got in one bowl? GILES: Does it work? DAWN: Gonna find out. Wanna come join the experiment? GILES: I'm an ideal control group. I find as you get older, that you lose patience with... throwing up. --------------------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Who's calling me? Everybody I know lives here. I'll be back. DAWN: I bet it's creditors. The hounding's begun. I read about it. So you think we'll starve? GILES: I very much doubt it. DAWN: No chance I'd have to quit school to work assembling cheap toys in a poorly-ventilated sweatshop? GILES: Poorly-ventilated... What have you been reading? --------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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19th July 2002, 03:42 PM
| #404 (permalink) | |
| krycek's love slave  Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: TEXAS!!!
Posts: 2,066
| Quote:
 promise i won't do it again. (if i can help it) | |
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22nd July 2002, 11:49 PM
| #405 (permalink) |
| OB-Wan Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,357
| No prob, TG. We all slip sometimes. I just can't believe that I went two weeks without noticing. And just to stay on-topic - MORE QUOTES!: BUFFY: This is a surprise of the nice kind. RILEY: Now it's my turn to be surprised. Thought we had plans today. BUFFY: Plans? We planned plans? RILEY: Well, you said "come over tomorrow and we'll hang." Then I said "'kay." Not the invasion of Normandy, but still a plan. -------------------------------------------------------- DAWN: I don't think Buffy's Watcher likes me too much. I think its cause he's just... so... so... Old. I'm not sure how old he is, but I heard him use the word 'newfangled' one time, so he's gotta be pretty far-gone. -------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Giles, are you breaking up with your car? GILES: Well, the damn thing did seduce me. All red and sporty. BUFFY: Little two-door tramp. -------------------------------------------------------- DAWN: She [Tara] and Willow are both witches. They do spells and stuff which is so much cooler than Slaying. I told Mom one time I wish they'd teach me some of the things they do together, and she got really quiet and made me go upstairs. -------------------------------------------------------- GILES [about the Magic Box]: I mean, look at this... Low overhead, Out-of-State orders, International... No wonder there's never any trouble attracting new owners. This place is a virtual... BUFFY: Deathtrap? GILES: Well, yes. Yes, there is that. Still, the location, in terms of pedestrian traffic... -------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Well, apart from the fact that magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal-Tap drummer, have you ever run a store before? GILES: I was a librarian for years. This is exactly the same, except that people pay for the things they never return. -------------------------------------------------------- HARMONY: What do you mean she's not in there?! She has to be. I'm calling her out! XANDER: And I bet she'll be real sorry she missed your call. Afraid you and your buddies are gonna have to come back and be killed by Buffy later. -------------------------------------------------------- TARA (searching burned-out Sunnydale High): This place creeps me out. WILLOW: Should've been here when it was a school. -------------------------------------------------------- BUFFY: Riley, be careful. Your heart! SPIKE: Is he your sidekick now? That's too cute. You know, you should think about getting one of those motorbikes with the little sidecars. Could be precious. -------------------------------------------------------- BIKER VAMP: I've always wanted to kill The Slayer. BUFFY: And I've always wanted piano lessons. So really, who's surprised we have all this unexpressed rage? -------------------------------------------------------- SPIKE: Well... Hello, Harm. HARMONY: Spikey. I mean... Spike. SPIKE: Long time. You look good. HARMONY: I feel good. SPIKE: I remember. -------------------------------------------------------- |
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