Re: Dyall Square
You can deliver poetics very well, but, as has been said already, I feel there's a little too much. To start with, it does indeed paint a dreamy picture, but the more you try to read - try to understand - exactly what's taking place, you can easily get lost.
Even if it was your intention to be very lyrical in your description, a reader might easily lose their place and patience if too many scenes in a book are played out this way. Such poetics are like a cake's frosting; they add sugar to the substance, but they shouldn't become the substance itself.