Hi Perp, no poet me, but in the absence of anyone else, here goes
Diadne
(The Castaway Angel)
1.
She stands alone in her ivory tower,
Lost in memory
Her eyes are caught in yesterday's fire,
Staring out across the crystal sea.
She is dressed in rags,
That were once fine robes,
Her hands are clawed and red,
Her face is pained,
Her heart is torn,
For love once she wept.
very evocative; sets the scene well.
2.
Her hair is long
Of the finest blond,
Her eyes are blue,
Pure sapphire blue,
Her voice as sweet as wine,
Rosebud lips adorn her face,
Her figure is both strong and fine,
She has skin,
As white as silk,
Unmarred,
And fair,
(So fair),
Against her back,
The smoothest plumes,
Folded wings,
Brightest white,
She shines with that inner light.
There's some repetition which works but some, particularly the sapphire blue seems less effective.
3.
She cares not for tomorrow,
Or for what today may bring,
Her eyes are bright,
With the pasts great light,
And she will not sing again.
Her heart it yearns for that yesterday,
When she was pure and true,
When she walked amongst the Seraphim,
She loved,
And was loved too.
Many there were of her golden kind,
That walked in crystal halls,
They played together,
These lords of light,
And looked at the world below.
Time passed,
On its way,
As it always does,
And through those celestial days,
She lived in a angel ways,
Resting in gardens fair,
Beyond even Eden's compare,
She danced the dance of being,
She loved not one of the heavenly host,
But all and none of the Flaming beings.
I liked this verse and thought the cadence was really good, but then the 3 lines from time passed interrupted it/ seemed less flowing. Not sure about a angel; the lack of an make me stop for a moment and disrupted a little. Flaming beings sounded like something glib/ slan, but that's possibly my venacular..
4.
Then one night the Dream King came,
And passed into her mind,
He showed her things
Of the world below,
From which she tried to hide,
But in dreams,
There is no escape,
And apparently no lies,
And from the scenes she could not take flight,
They filled her full of dread fear,
And shame dimmed her light.
These three lost a little cadence, I thought and I'm not sure you need dread and fear together. 5.
She saw:
War on city streets,
A child in the ruins,
Factories belching smoke,
Refuse filling rivers,
Whales transfixed,
And cut to bits,
Needles full of ****,
Bombs on passenger planes,
The homeless on the streets,
She saw:
Famine,
Murder,
Rape,
Crime and disease,
All of this,
The pain of the human race,
She saw it all through tearful eyes,
And despair on her face.
6.
The dreamer smiled,
A knowing smile,
And walked them from her dreaming,
Leaving her with questions why,
To see the world with hollow eyes,
She stumbled along the gilded streets,
But saw through that façade,
She watched her fellows laughing,
Dancing in the glades,
But when she closed her eyes,
She knew their love betrayed.
Doubt it grew in her mind,
Rotting her perceptions,
Of a better time,
Adrift in a sea of shame,
Why should it be that angels fly,
While their lesser cousins,
Live and die,
Cast upon a sea of pain,
She wandered
I really liked the first part of this verse, it flowed reallly well.
7.
She clambered up the single hill,
Into exalted halls,
She walked through gardens green,
Through orchards and flowerbeds all,
Until at last,
She stood before,
The Mighty Ones doors,
The gates opened before her,
The throne room supreme,
But nothing stirred within,
She looked in shock,
At what she saw,
A dusty room,
With no life at all,
Windows smeared,
Cupboards empty,
Cobwebbed walls,
A giant throne stripped of gold,
A ragged cushion at its feet.
Oh, what a tragedy,
She knew then what despair was,
The Creator was not there,
If he ever was.
8.
And so she came to the last great tower,
Upon the realms high walls,
And screamed to her fellows what she'd found,
But in laughter her cry was drowned,
And the lie went on again.
Within her breast emotion churned,
She was swimming against a drowning tide,
She cast herself from the walls,
And did not attempt to fly.
Down,
Down,
She fell,
Free of heavens light,
Twisting towards the fires below,
Of Lucifer's plight.
9.
But intercepted by planetary mass
She came to rest at last,
Upon the Earth,
And there she chose to hide,
What more were she to do,
Except join mankind's bloody tide?
10.
So she stands alone in her ivory tower,
Lost in memory,
Her eyes are caught in yesterday's fire,
Remembering how it used to be,
She's dressed in rags
That were once fine robes,
Her hands are clawed and red,
Her face is pained,
Her heart is torn,
And she wants it all to end,
But that can never be,
Trapped she is until the end of time,
Because no matter how much they try.
Angels cannot ever die.