I am guilty of 'rushing' my stories, so in order to understand the problem better, I have a small piece from my story that probably needs more description, but where do I place it without it becoming heavy laden?
I hope that makes sense...
The dining hall shook with the sound of thunder. A seventeenth century sedan chair crashed through the back wall and landed heavily on the floor before being submerged under a pile of plaster and rubble. (no mention of the blood and gore from the poor chap at the front - no mention of the guy at the back either Need to describe why the chair was able to crash through the wall. Even a two ton vehicle tends to balk at such a task unless its made from spit and straw)
No one in the hall moved. With a scrabbling noise, a hand poked through the debris. A face emerged, then the body of a naked, hairy man. (why naked - highly unlikely that he would go out without his wig - describe )
His wide, beady eyes scanned the many faces in the room until, recognizing one, he let out a tortuous wail.
"Leonardo, Leonardo! EGO cannot puto is, est is vere vos?" he shouted in faltering Latin, and scrambled toward him. Two men barred his way and he fell to the floor, babbling. The master painter stepped forward.
"I am Leonardo, who are you?"
The hairy man grasped the ankles of the nearest man and gawped at Leonardo through his legs, like a prisoner through cell bars.
"Your humble servant, Michel de Nostredame.”
Leonardo looked down at the prostrated, pitiful caveman (caveman? speaking Latin? - more description could be stuck in about his injuries his clothes - oh bu**er you have him naked)
and turned to a student, (Don't think L de V had students - his inventions would have been more widely known/ exploited if he had - I always thought he was a solitary bloke)
“Get him some clothes.” He then looked at the large hole in the fresco where Judas Escariot, (Iscariot)
Peter and Mary (Mary? too much credit to Din Browen)
had been and pointed angrily at the wall. "I don’t care if you are the devil himself, you’ve just destroyed my Last Supper!" he said, shouting and throwing his hands wildly above his head. "Do you know how much it costs to hire a good model?" He jabbed a finger at the flaxen haired woman sitting dumbstruck on a wooden chair by his easel. (way out there in terms of fact)
Nostradamus raised himself to his knees, shook himself down like a dog and pointed to the rubble.
"Please, my chair. I have books, many books!"
Leonardo angrily picked up a length of wood and walked toward the uninvited visitor. Several students restrained him. (nice, but lets see some rage on that face - plus would he do this after ordering some clothes)
“Let me alone,” he shouted, glaring at the naked man cowering on the floor.
“No master, not until you have calmed down.”
The student returned with clothes and the man was allowed to dress.
“let’s listen to the wretch’s story," said Leonardo, taking a deep breath, "then I’ll beat him.” (not enough rage and far too contra to his mood before - It would be better if L de V's patron was the angry one and L de V was the voice of calm reason - since he's naturally inquisitive and would be up for an explanation)
Leonardo squatted next to the man. "Where are you from old man?"
(English? - I mention this as to have one speaking in Latin - bearing in mind he was French and contempory with L de V is odd then to have L de V not speaking in Latin. Either they would understand each other perfectly or there would be a period of language synchronisation - this is problblyexplained somewhere else in your book (I hope) but it is a big barrier to the whole story line. If there's some magical device, universal translator, then how did these two get hold of them because in this scene they would need to be introduced - which is just a long winded way of saying I would drop the latin so the reader doesn't raise these questions and lose heart )
"The year of our Lord, 1550." (he'd be 47 - old? - plus L de V 1452 - 1519 no spring chicken)
Leonardo seethed. He grabbed the wretch by his hair and dragged him to the door. “Put him on the street where he belongs. . .And get a mason in here, we need to rebuild the wall." (not realistic for the man - he's need to know more - More description of the people's 'comments')
As he was being dragged away, he screamed about his books and chair. A student close to the rubble saw a strange looking object on a piece of paper. He pulled it from the mess and ran to Leonardo.
"Bring him back,” said Leonardo, looking at a picture of a winged sausage shaped object with the word ‘Virgin Atlantic’ written on its tail, “and dig out his chair and books!”
Nostradamus, his sedan chair (really?)
and his books were taken to Leonardo’s quarters. Leonardo demanded that they were not to be disturbed and food be left outside the door.