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Originally Posted by chopper  the only thing i would add is a sense of distance in time to reinforce the "small hand" description of Chais as a child. you can tell it is reminiscence, but the scale of distance isn't immediately clear. |
Good thinking!
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(Oh, and Butchers' Guild, rather than Butcher's Guild...)
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Eek! How did I miss that??
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Second section: i got a bit distracted by trying to work out who the new characters were, so i couldn't focus fully on it. when the narrative came to telling me who Palaina was, i was still puzzled over Lady Sindretzine.
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I was worried about introducing all the names too quickly, so I'm not sure how best to get over that. Back to the thinking cap.
Thanks, O Progenitor of Great and Revered Customs!